Home

How much teacher obsession is normal for a 4th grader?

 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Parenting our children


View latest: 24h 48h 72h


amother




OP
 

Post Sat, Jan 08 2022, 4:02 pm
All day today she was imagining her teacher showing up to our house with different scenarios involved in how she landed up in our town for shabbos and why she was coming to visit.
But obsessively, non stop talk... dd just come to tell me “but mrs. Dash didn’t end up coming”.
Back to top

amother




Mimosa
 

Post Sat, Jan 08 2022, 4:27 pm
You should find a therapist that specializes in obsessions, and go for sessions so the therapist can advise you on how to help your dd.
Back to top

amother




Impatiens
 

Post Sat, Jan 08 2022, 4:34 pm
Did you ask her why she wants her teacher to visit? Or why she thought her teacher might come? Is she a very imaginative child?
I would play along. Tell her you're going to pretend to be her teacher and come "visit". Maybe that will help her.
Back to top

behappy2




 
 
 
 

Post Sat, Jan 08 2022, 4:36 pm
Does she obsess about other things? Does she obsess in general? Yes. It can be normal. Or not.
Back to top

gootlfriends




 
 
 
 

Post Sat, Jan 08 2022, 5:14 pm
I feel like part of the story is missing.why did she think her teacher was coming? And my 5 grader talks about her English teacher all the time. She has a great bond with her and looks up to her. I don't think that's a bad thing.
Back to top

amother




Bronze
 

Post Sat, Jan 08 2022, 5:17 pm
It’s really normal. Especially in the frum world where our kids don’t idolize celebrities, they idolize teachers instead.
Back to top

amother




Natural
 

Post Sat, Jan 08 2022, 6:09 pm
Is she an obsessive / anxious type in general?
Back to top

amother




Hydrangea
 

Post Sat, Jan 08 2022, 6:16 pm
How long was this going on for? A few weeks, a day a few hours?

Kids do sometimes get into an imaginary world in their heads, I think that’s pretty normal. If it’s fun and creative that can last a few days.
If she’s not talking about anything else for a few weeks, I might investigate what’s going on.
Back to top

miriam6




 
 
 
 

Post Sat, Jan 08 2022, 6:28 pm
Age appropriate
Back to top

amother




Tiffanyblue
 

Post Sat, Jan 08 2022, 6:30 pm
amother [ Mimosa ] wrote:
You should find a therapist that specializes in obsessions, and go for sessions so the therapist can advise you on how to help your dd.


It’s hard sometimes for me to detect sarcasm on this forum.
I hope this is it.
Back to top

amother




Outerspace
 

Post Sat, Jan 08 2022, 8:19 pm
I beg to differ with most of the "it's normal" responses.

As a fourth grade teacher, (maybe I am OP's daughter's teacher! But if I am, I won't out myself) I don't think my students would go that far.

I can imagine them talking about me, repeating things I've said, even hoping I'd stop by.. But not to the point of after feeding themselves a narrative, saying, "Mrs. X didn't come!!!
Unless for some reason Mrs. X said she'd stop by.(?)

It sounds atypically immature for fourth grade.
Back to top

amother




Steel
 

Post Sun, Jan 09 2022, 12:16 am
I used to spend all day imagining such scenerios but with characters from fictional books I'd read. I would have never told my mom about it though!

This lasted until my 20s, sometimes fictional characters, sometimes a person in real life. Sometimes I think I overdid the imagining to the point where I prioritized fantasizing over real life. If this is the case with your daughter, I think the only thing you can do is to try to add some extra activities to her life to give her something else to focus her attention on.

If you tell her "stop thinking about your teacher", etc, that won't help at all, she will just make sure to be quiet about it around you, and might feel ashamed.
Back to top

Success10




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Jan 09 2022, 12:20 am
I have a 4th grader, and they are usually fully aware of reality at that age. I think 4th grade is old for this. She might be searching for a deeper connection with you, OP, and projecting it on to her Morah. Which is normal, and you are a great mom. But try to dig deeper to see what void she is trying to fill.
Back to top

Jenmom




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Jan 09 2022, 5:21 am
It sounds pretty normal. It's part of the process of growing up and beginning to attach to adults outside of the home; learning that YOUR parents aren't everything in the world. A sort of per-adolescent phase.
Back to top

amother




Linen
 

Post Sun, Jan 09 2022, 6:00 am
The being surprised that she didn't come is the only part I'm not sure about. The rest is so age appropriate. I had a whole fantasy with my teachers in fourth and fifth grade. Less so as the years went on. My friends were similar. It's more than two decades since, but I see it with that age. Maybe they're just starting to understand deeper feelings?
Back to top

FranticFrummie




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Jan 09 2022, 6:27 am
OP, don't ignore your DD when she gets like this. Instead, ask her lots of questions.

Why do you think she is coming?
What would you like to do when she gets here?
What is your favorite thing about Mrs. X?

Play off of what she's saying, and see if you can engage her to get more information about what's on her mind.
Back to top

amother




Carnation
 

Post Sun, Jan 09 2022, 6:34 am
amother [ Outerspace ] wrote:
I beg to differ with most of the "it's normal" responses.

As a fourth grade teacher, (maybe I am OP's daughter's teacher! But if I am, I won't out myself) I don't think my students would go that far.

I can imagine them talking about me, repeating things I've said, even hoping I'd stop by.. But not to the point of after feeding themselves a narrative, saying, "Mrs. X didn't come!!!
Unless for some reason Mrs. X said she'd stop by.(?)

It sounds atypically immature for fourth grade.



When I was that age, if I liked a teacher I would definitely obsess over her and imagine her bumping into me at the supermarket and telling me how proud she is of me blah blah blah. Id incorporate her in my imaginitive play...and I was a normal kid lol
Kids get into things
Back to top

amother




Freesia
 

Post Sun, Jan 09 2022, 9:29 am
amother [ Steel ] wrote:
I used to spend all day imagining such scenerios but with characters from fictional books I'd read. I would have never told my mom about it though!

This lasted until my 20s, sometimes fictional characters, sometimes a person in real life. Sometimes I think I overdid the imagining to the point where I prioritized fantasizing over real life. If this is the case with your daughter, I think the only thing you can do is to try to add some extra activities to her life to give her something else to focus her attention on.

If you tell her "stop thinking about your teacher", etc, that won't help at all, she will just make sure to be quiet about it around you, and might feel ashamed.


I did this too but lasted after my 20's too. I prioritized fantasizing over real life too. I still do it.

did you have a normal childhood?
Back to top

amother




Steel
 

Post Sun, Jan 09 2022, 9:44 am
amother [ Freesia ] wrote:
I did this too but lasted after my 20's too. I prioritized fantasizing over real life too. I still do it.

did you have a normal childhood?


No abuse, but my childhood was more boring than most, which I suspect was a factor.

I stopped the fantasizing when I had a few kids and a career, and I think I just had enough going on in my life that I didn't need the extra stimulation of the fantasies.
Back to top
Recent Topics

Page 1 of 1 View latest: 24h 48h 72h


Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Parenting our children

Related Topics Replies Last Post
Plz help with gift idea for a 22 yr old teacher single girl
by amother
24 Sat, May 21 2022, 8:50 pm View last post
by KJP
Kriah teacher
by amother
1 Thu, May 19 2022, 12:12 pm View last post
Are my kids unusually difficult or normal?
by amother
13 Mon, May 16 2022, 7:25 am View last post
Do you tell the teacher about stress at home?
by amother
26 Fri, May 13 2022, 12:11 pm View last post
Can a teacher ask for wages to be paid in her kids tuition?
by amother
13 Tue, May 10 2022, 3:03 pm View last post