Husband's job offer - yay or nay

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amother

Sun, Jan 09 2022, 12:08 pm

Looking for some perspective because I am very torn about my feelings regarding my husband's job offer (so is he, ultimately his decision but he is taking my thoughts and feelings very seriously under consideration).

He currently has a very stable job in government working 9-5 with a 1.5 hr commute each way (which he uses productively to learn etc). Job stress is overall minimal and he never puts in extra hours or brings work home. The pay is not great with little growth potential but he will have a decent pension and retire young. To survive I work full time plus to make ends meet. He helps a nice amount with the kids and house though the bulk of day to day is on me. But he is around at night, can do hmwk with them, is around on weekends.

This job offer will pay ~30,000 more for starters with growth potential. He will be able to work hybrid (some remote work) which will make things logistically easier but he will be billing and working crazy hours. Work and stress will creep into all hours of the day, night, weekends. The money is nothing to sneeze at but after taxes and more going to yeshiva tuition (b"H!) I will not be able to reduce my workload (perhaps no more overtime) or really afford a big change in lifestyle like getting more household help. He will be physically around but less available with this new position but it offers growth and movement and is a potential stepping stone for something else down the road.

We have looked at this from many angles and it's a tough decision. Maybe I'm missing something. Please share your thoughts.

ora_43

Sun, Jan 09 2022, 12:17 pm

Some thoughts in no particular order

- saving 3 hours/day on the days he works from home is really big. What would his commute be like on the days he works from the office?

- how old are you both? keep in mind that the sooner you start earning more, the greater your earnings over the course of an entire career. Also keep in mind that past a certain age, it's harder to get exciting new opportunities.

- what's the plan if he doesn't do this? Will your current salaries be enough long-term? If not, is there something else he could do?

- if he tries this and the struggle gets to be too much, how hard would it be to find a job like his current job, ie lower-paying with fewer hours?

- what is he like as a person? does he find the low-stress job relaxing, or boring? does he do well when there's a lot going on at once, or does he get very stressed?

- as your kids get older, you're probably going to have less housework, and more expenses. just something to keep in mind.

ora_43

Sun, Jan 09 2022, 12:20 pm

Not questions for you to answer here if you don't want to, just stuff to think about.

For me the main questions would be:

Does he want a fast-paced job,

and

If he doesn't take the higher-paying job, what's the long-term plan for having enough money?

causemommysaid

Sun, Jan 09 2022, 12:26 pm

NEVER EVER give up a government job unless the money is so significant that it would be impossible to turn down.

30k is nowhere near that amount. It would have to be 100K at least to make up for the loss in work life balance, pension, retirement, low stress, stability, etc.

He can use his 1.5 hour commute to do a side job remotely. such as editing, bookkeeping, admin work, etc.

amother

Dahlia

Sun, Jan 09 2022, 12:28 pm

Im really not understanding why he would leave his current job if doing so increases stress and how available he is to you....minimizing stress is HUGE.
And hes making enough $ now, right...

amother

Beige

Sun, Jan 09 2022, 12:32 pm

Most government jobs allow remote work options. You can also set up your schedule hours to work for you. For example, my relative (pre pandemic) worked extra hours 4 days a week, then didn't have to work Fridays. And ever since the pandemic, this relative has been working completely remotely.

rachelli66

Sun, Jan 09 2022, 12:33 pm

One of the questions is ''Does your husband have satisfaction from his work''? What is the reason your husband was looking for other work? To be home with you and the children in the evening and help with homework,sleeping schedule is great. It's a huge plus.

Sewsew_mom

Sun, Jan 09 2022, 12:40 pm

I vote for less stress easier job.. But seems that your the overworked stressed one.
If it's not going to help your workload than why the heck would he change. Potentially he can make more in a couple years? By than you can absolutely fall apart. Unless he's making enough for you to cut hours to fill in the extra home care than I don't see how it helps to change jobs.

amother

Hibiscus

Sun, Jan 09 2022, 12:51 pm

It is not worth 30k. Jumping jobs within govt will get him more, faster. So would overtime.

imasinger

Sun, Jan 09 2022, 12:52 pm

Is there any way to take a leave of absence from his current job to see how the new one might feel?

amother

Lilac

Sun, Jan 09 2022, 12:58 pm

30,000 before taxes and increased tuition is not a life changing amount of money. The increased stress is life changing. For me it would be an easy choice . Good luck!

amother

Currant

Sun, Jan 09 2022, 1:01 pm

Does not sound worth it to me. 30k is not that much. He will be working the extra hours for that extra pay. So divide it down to the hour, maybe he will be making a similar amount. Without all the benefits, including being able to be a present father for his kids.

amother

Alyssum

Sun, Jan 09 2022, 1:13 pm

This job offer will pay ~30,000 more for starters with growth potential. He will be able to work hybrid (some remote work) which will make things logistically easier but he will be billing and working crazy hours. Work and stress will creep into all hours of the day, night, weekends. ]

This offer sounds like a very difficult job. Agree with the others. Doesn't sound worth it, given the benefits and stability of a government job.

amother

Tulip

Sun, Jan 09 2022, 2:30 pm

I had a decent govt job and gave it up for a hybrid remote job. The new job didn't end up working out and now I'm jobless Sad

amother

Peach

Sun, Jan 09 2022, 4:02 pm

Unless you're dh is currently making under 60k, 30k doesn't sound like enough to warrant the stress it will add to your life.
I don't know your finances, but is it possible that it will...?
- put you in a higher tax bracket
- make it harder to get a tuition break
- disqualify any other assistance you get

My dh works weird hours and comes home 10pm. It is really hard on me, I don't wish it upon anyone. He's looking for a new job because of it.

amother

Catmint

Sun, Jan 09 2022, 4:09 pm

I’m surprised that everyone’s saying to stay at the lower paying job with less potential. Yes, $30k isn’t that much, but op says that the current job doesn’t have growth potential and the new job does. If you’re looking at the bigger picture and don’t want to be making his current salary in the future, I would go with the job with more potential even if it may be harder in the short term.

Of course if you think you’ll be comfortable financially for the foreseeable future with his current salary, then that changes things. But I think it’s important to look at the bigger picture and plan for the future as well, not just what’s more convenient in the short term.

amother

Yolk

Sun, Jan 09 2022, 8:26 pm

Keep the govt job it's so worth it don't switch, maybe your DH can take on remote work at night or tutor math at night to Yeshiva kids or something like that which can bring in nice income. As for your stress level, can you personally find a different job that is more flexible and easier to manage? See if you can figure out a different way to change things around. I don't think your DH should give up a 9-5 pleasant job. I wish I had a gvt job with a pension. I've been looking Smile

amother

Skyblue

Sun, Jan 09 2022, 8:58 pm

My brother left a very high paying job with tremendous potential at a huge law firm to work for the government. He said he’d never go back.
Then: used to leave work before 11 pm some months it was the walk of shame.
Now: if you work 5 min after 5 your boss calls to ask why.
Then: stress,stress,stress
Now: if you are too stressed tell me what you’d like to give up
Then: jump on a plane with 5 min notice for a week
Now: work from home 3 days a week.
Then: never saw kids or wife always focused on work
Now: sit down to dinner at 5:39 with kids
Then: had to ask for raises. Show brought in clients
Now: scheduled and expected raises snd promotions
Then: health + benefits
How: same + pension snd health insurance with retirement.

He said he will never go back.

amother

Mayflower

Sun, Jan 09 2022, 8:59 pm

Remember to take health insurance into account - private insurance is really expensive these days Sad

think 25k for a family with 3 kids

amother

Holly

Sun, Jan 09 2022, 9:25 pm

I work for the government. I don't know how quickly I'd leave. My husband had a few high paying jobs in the private sector. They have
a bad few quarters, and the last guy in is the 1st guy out (aka my husband). There is no job stability. The last time I begged my husband to take a pay cut and get a government job.

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