This style on a girl who’s starting to develop?

amother

Cornsilk

Sun, Jan 09 2022, 6:33 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Thanks everyone!

Sigh.

Yes, I do think it looks like an adorable toddler dress… she pulls it off okay but it’s not quite right,.. but she loves it… ahhh wish this was less complicated. I don’t want her growing up feeling bad that I never got her what she really loved, either.

Why would you think she’d feel this way?

wiki

Sun, Jan 09 2022, 7:05 pm

Right now the styles that are in for girls and even teens are looks that would have seemed very juvenile a few years back, with ruffles and big round collars and things. This jumper has that little-girly look.

If your daughter can pull it off with confidence, though, it will probably look stylish.

amother

Fern

Sun, Jan 09 2022, 7:06 pm

I always tell my kids- we BOTH have to love it - when we go shopping for clothing
Could be the jumper looks good on your daughter… I would really have to see it on her to decide.
On one hand, it’s only a dress that she would probably just wear for a few months. On the other hand, if she really doesn’t look good in it, you don’t want to buy it for her.
Maybe find something else that you’re both sure about.

amother

Sun, Jan 09 2022, 10:47 pm

amother [ Cornsilk ] wrote:

Why would you think she’d feel this way?

Because she has wanted this style for a long time, and I have generally steered her away from it and in general, especially recently, limited her choices…

More background: For a while I couldn’t get her to willingly wear a training bra, and then some of her clothes looked really not okay on her, especially the ones that we bought when she was still completely flat, that had thin see-through fabric… I didn’t make a fuss about the training bra but while I shopped around for alternatives for her that she would find comfortable psychologically and physically, I steered her towards thicker fabrics and sweaters/shirts rather than dresses as they seemed to work better at giving a little more coverage in the chest area. She picked what she liked in the categories I told her I wanted to focus on but didn’t necessarily love all her clothes especially her Shabbos clothes.

Now finally I guess I was successful in finding training bras she likes and she came around to wearing them every day, and so I decided to give it another chance at dresses… and even this layered look.

In the past even before she started to develop some of the jumpers she wanted were odd fabrics or harsh colors for her complexion so this dress is really the closest we’ve gotten and she just really wants it!

amother

Sun, Jan 09 2022, 10:51 pm

amother [ Blue ] wrote:

If it meant that much to her I would get it. As long as kids that age are wearing it.

Thanks. Yes, I think they are! Though some of them are really tiny… my daughter was trying to convince me that this dress is fine by telling me about her classmate that wears all little girl stuff because she really is a size 5… (I don’t know if this is technically true)

amother

Sun, Jan 09 2022, 10:55 pm

wiki wrote:

Thanks! This is part of what I am in doubt about. Like maybe it is just really in style, even for her size/build, and I’m the one who’s not tuned in enough. (I mean, I see it’s in style, but maybe by thinking she is too old I’m the wrong one here.)

Like am I protecting her from embarrassing herself? Or maybe she’s actually the one who knows better what she should be wearing.

And does it matter? Or should I let her be happy even if she’s not really pulling it off perfectly?

Thanks for sharing your view, it helps!

amother

Sun, Jan 09 2022, 10:59 pm

amother [ Fern ] wrote:

Thanks! True it is only a few months that she would wear it, not the biggest decision in the universe. However she will probably wear it to some big events during this time, especially because she will like it the most.

I think maybe I’ll take her back shopping today and just see it there’s something she likes as much that I like more too. Can’t drive her crazy though. She’ll be really disappointed if I say no to this and there’s nothing else she likes as much. And there’s a limit to how much time I can spend shopping with her too.

amother

Sun, Jan 09 2022, 11:17 pm

If anyone fashion-forward is comfortable posting their screen name and helping me evaluate how this looks on my daughter, please do so! Looking at the pics now that I took yesterday, she looks really cute to me in this dress and I am wondering if it’s just my husbands comments that planted doubts in my mind. And I usually take what be says seriously, he is often right about general fit and flatteringness, but fashion and trends is not really his thing.

DrMom

Sun, Jan 09 2022, 11:42 pm

amother [ Cornsilk ] wrote:

I would not put a jumper that style on a 10 year old

I don’t live in Israel tho and I don’t much care for frum styles tho

I do live in Israel and I think that style looks too juvenile for a 10-year-old.
But if your daughter likes it, I don't see the problem.

amother

Mon, Jan 10 2022, 12:21 am

I don’t have good friends in my community/with girls my daughters age. I’m not going to embarrass her by asking her classmates’ mothers who are just barely casual acquaintances…

Dr Mom you are in Israel, but are you in the chareidi scene?

DrMom

Mon, Jan 10 2022, 1:03 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Nope. But I live in a very mixed city and never saw this sort of juvenile pinafore dress on somebody above the age of 4-5.

But as I said, if your girl likes the dress, go for it.

spikta

Mon, Jan 10 2022, 1:34 am

If it's tznius and in your price range just get it for her. Don't try to save her from herself if you don't have to, it will backfire. Better say yes as much as you can, so when you do need to tell her no it doesn't feel as stifling.

amother

Poinsettia

Mon, Jan 10 2022, 1:48 am

Don't overthink it. If she wants it- go for it. Winter isn't that much longer here so worse case she will be wearing it for a month or two. But IMHO there is so much to gain by her wearing something she has been wanting to wear for so long.

P.s.- That is a very popular dress

p.p.s- Both you and your DH must realize that in the coming years she might make some clothing choices that you will at best think are silly but will probably just hate. Practicing the way you want to approach that now, seems like a good start.

Tof Umachol

Mon, Jan 10 2022, 2:19 am

I think it is fine for an almost 11 year old (I'm in Israel).
Frilly things are back in.
And my 22-year-old currently loves wearing a denim jumper that has her looking about eight ...
(Jumpers for teens and adults are in now - see Fox, Tamnoon, etc.)

More importantly:
Sounds like she really loves it.
If it were my daughter I'd get it for her, even if it's not entirely your taste.

amother

Indigo

Mon, Jan 10 2022, 2:22 am

I'm not into fashion or Charedi, but I think the dress is cute and would wear one myself.

I think the girl who goes to school every day and sees what other girls are wearing is the best judge of what will work for her. Trust her judgement and let her explore and learn for herself what she likes. Just be glad she's not asking for a miniskirt and ripped fishnet stockings 😜