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Frustrated with filter - advice or chizuk?

 
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seeker




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Jan 14 2022, 12:30 pm
I don't know if I need chizuk to stick it out and get used to it, or advice how to get a better filter.

I recently started using a computer internet filter that was highly recommended here on imamother and by Tag where I got my phone filter. I am very satisfied with my phone filter because I wanted to use my phone less, and could always just go on the computer to get what I need so I have almost no internet on my phone and when it's inconvenient that achieves my goal of being on my phone less.

But I also need something on my computer because I have kids at home, they only use the computer with my supervision but of course it's possible for them to go ahead and break that rule sometime, and it's required by their school policy and I've been feeling like a hypocrite for years because I just never got around to it.

So anyway when I set up my account I enabled access to things like facebook and youtube. I know those are iffy but I really need facebook for my social life, and youtube comes in handy a lot, and again I am the primary user of this computer and I'm really only getting the filter as a formality and hoping to block, yknow, actual [filth], inappropriate ads, accidental stuff.

So I have access to facebook and anything inappropriate my friends and ad algorithms could theoretically post there (not that they do, I'm just saying it's open). I've even been able to click a lot of links off there, nothing inappropriate but probably could have been, junky clickbait, that type of thing.

Meanwhile, I find myself having to enter my security code to request access to things that are actually normal and useful. I figured it's just a learning curve, eventually most of what I need will be open and I won't have to keep requesting separately. But it's been SO OFTEN that I'm getting fed up. And then sometimes they refuse my access requests - I get that it's not enough that I requested it with my password, becuase what if kids get the password, it's not so secure. But it's getting very annoying! I requested access to an article on a medical research site. Granted it was about an adult matter but 1- in a purely medical context and 2- not even directly related to intimacy or anything (did involve contraception but that's not dirty.) I entered a comment in my request: This is a national health research institution, very appropriate resource, please allow it. It was rejected twice! Like they weren't even reading my comment or paying attention to what the website was! I emailed them about it and then they enabled access.

To their credit, this entire process took just a few minutes. They were very responsive. Which makes me think it's worth sticking with, since I am not actually prevented from viewing anything important. (I was blocked from a couple of youtube videos that I really wanted to see. By frum producers. Even though other youtube things were not blocked. I don't get it but I figured I can be a big girl and just have less youtube in my life. And the one that I really wanted to see I'm going to go ahead and find it on a friend's computer one of these days!) The things that they approve, the delay in requesting it probably takes less time than it would have taken to simply load the website back in the dial-up internet days.

But it's sooooooooo annoying! Am I going to eventually stop finding it so aggravating?
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Amarante




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Jan 14 2022, 12:50 pm
I don't know if it is feasible but do you have the option to set up your account as an administrator and then st up separate accounts for your children.

With my Apple computer you can do this and each user would have different privileges. I would imagine that you could configure a filter to only operate for a specific user.

I don't have any experience with this since I don't use a filter and the only time I have set up separate user accounts on my Apple computer is when I am troubleshooting and trying to figure out what is causing the issues. You can set up a test account which doesn't run extensions or Apps and of course you can prevent anyone but the administrator from making any changes to the system.
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Rubies




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Jan 14 2022, 12:53 pm
Try speaking to a live person and requesting access to sites not specific pages. Youtube is tricky but you can try asking for allowance to specific channels and not videos.
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singleagain




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Jan 14 2022, 1:54 pm
I don't think it's right that some random person should deny you access. I would see if there's a different filter with only a passcode and not a person choosing
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amother




Candycane
 

Post Fri, Jan 14 2022, 4:07 pm
And this is why I still have no filter on my computer.

Now my kids have just started using it, and we have no choice but to put a filter on so we started looking into them and...sigh. the one thing I have realized is theres no way BN that I will get a filter that requires me to ask permission from anyone to unlock anything. I simply dont like the feeling it gives me that someone else has the authority...im not a child. I need full, instant, control over my own device.
All I really care about anyway is dirty p-rn like content.
I do want to order bras and underwears online, and I couldnt care less if my children see...its the graphic zxual stuff I want filtered out.
So.
We'll see
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amother




Green
 

Post Sat, Jan 15 2022, 10:52 am
Totally feel you. We need a filter that allows medical things and social media as well for our jobs and schooling.
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amother




Bone
 

Post Sat, Jan 15 2022, 10:59 am
That is so frustrating and I'm impressed that you have even been trying so hard. I have filters for my kids. We have qustodio and it was a little bit hard to set up on the computer. But we were able to set it up where the kids have it on theirs but we do not have it on ours. There are too many things I need to search that are blocked that I was starting to lose my mind when we had it. Maybe I should have stuck it out more but my husband also had tons of things blocked for work and he literally could not run his business. And even for my kids this is not set up so strictly and I can open stuff up. There's just only so much controlling I can have in my life and halacha itself is already so much without taking on so much more. I really give people a lot of credits that can do it but I just couldn't so I totally understand you. If you already have it on your phone that is huge.
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amother




Bone
 

Post Sat, Jan 15 2022, 11:00 am
Double post
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Siriusly?




 
 
 
 

Post Sat, Jan 15 2022, 12:43 pm
If you're talking about Techloq (which it sounds like from their speedy responses), ask them about their feature for having two separate profiles, one for the kids and one for you. Yours can then be filtered much less, and the kids' more.
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seeker




 
 
 
 

Post Sat, Jan 15 2022, 7:33 pm
Yes, I do have the option to have a separate filter for the kids and myself, but mine is already on a pretty loose setting - like I said, I have access to facebook and most of youtube. I'm not sure what less I can do and still consider myself filtered. I also think it might be good for me to have it be more inconvenient to access things that I really shouldn't be wasting my time and energy on. But so far it's been very annoying.
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amother




Peachpuff
 

Post Sat, Jan 15 2022, 8:15 pm
seeker wrote:
Yes, I do have the option to have a separate filter for the kids and myself, but mine is already on a pretty loose setting - like I said, I have access to facebook and most of youtube. I'm not sure what less I can do and still consider myself filtered. I also think it might be good for me to have it be more inconvenient to access things that I really shouldn't be wasting my time and energy on. But so far it's been very annoying.

I had the same experience as you when I got Techloq. So I got rid of it before the refund period ended.
I found it really annoying to use YouTube mainly, I asked them a few times to open YouTube up fully for myself but they wouldn’t do it and then they wouldn’t allow me to open a certain video which was totally innocent but had the one of their banned words in the title and however much I requested it and emailed them they wouldn’t open it. and also some other things, like looking up medical stuff and the like it just felt really restrictive. and I had the same issue that I wanted to use my phone less but I hadn’t yet filtered my phone, and instead once I got techloq I had to use my phone more, it was really annoying. For now I got rid of it, I don’t know what I would do once my kids are old enough to use the computer tho.
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singleagain




 
 
 
 

Post Sat, Jan 15 2022, 8:19 pm
amother [ Peachpuff ] wrote:
I had the same experience as you when I got Techloq. So I got rid of it before the refund period ended.
I found it really annoying to use YouTube mainly, I asked them a few times to open YouTube up fully for myself but they wouldn’t do it and then they wouldn’t allow me to open a certain video which was totally innocent but had the one of their banned words in the title and however much I requested it and emailed them they wouldn’t open it. and also some other things, like looking up medical stuff and the like it just felt really restrictive. and I had the same issue that I wanted to use my phone less but I hadn’t yet filtered my phone, and instead once I got techloq I had to use my phone more, it was really annoying. For now I got rid of it, I don’t know what I would do once my kids are old enough to use the computer tho.


"They wouldn't allow me to" ??? I'm sorry I don't understand this at all! You're an adult. This is worse than when ppl write dh doesn't let, bc this is a stranger! I would find a different filter company or just some decent parental controls. Talk about infantilizing adults. 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️
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amother




Peachpuff
 

Post Sat, Jan 15 2022, 8:43 pm
singleagain wrote:
"They wouldn't allow me to" ??? I'm sorry I don't understand this at all! You're an adult. This is worse than when ppl write dh doesn't let, bc this is a stranger! I would find a different filter company or just some decent parental controls. Talk about infantilizing adults. 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

That was exactly my problem with it, I thought they were there to help me avoid questionable things but now I know that I’m better of without it.
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amother




Candycane
 

Post Sat, Jan 15 2022, 10:00 pm
amother [ Peachpuff ] wrote:
I had the same experience as you when I got Techloq. So I got rid of it before the refund period ended.
I found it really annoying to use YouTube mainly, I asked them a few times to open YouTube up fully for myself but they wouldn’t do it and then they wouldn’t allow me to open a certain video which was totally innocent but had the one of their banned words in the title and however much I requested it and emailed them they wouldn’t open it. and also some other things, like looking up medical stuff and the like it just felt really restrictive. and I had the same issue that I wanted to use my phone less but I hadn’t yet filtered my phone, and instead once I got techloq I had to use my phone more, it was really annoying. For now I got rid of it, I don’t know what I would do once my kids are old enough to use the computer tho.


They wouldnt open a video that you were requesting?? What in the world...
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