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 Sun, Jan 16 2022, 12:07 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | Imagine your phone rings, or you get a text. “Hi! I heard you have some guest rooms! We’re planning on being in your city for shabbos and we need a place to stay for our whole family. It’s only four kids don’t worry. “
“Um, who is this?”
“I’m Chaya Sarah Leah Ochenschnauser. I got your name from someone.”
“You got my name from whom? Are you coming here for a wedding?”
“No, it’s for vacation.”
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People - if you would be bewildered by this phone call, imagine how we all feel here in vacation cities. Unless you really really believe you would become a hotel catering service, in which case send me your dates you’ll be out of town and where you’ll leave me the keys and I’ll stay in your house.
This has been your friendly PSA that your vacation budget should include hotels and food, unless your close family lives there! |
Um... duh? I really hope no one would do this. So socially off.
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amother
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Sun, Jan 16 2022, 3:15 pm
| amother [ Canary ] wrote: | Thankfully I haven't met anyone like you. We booked a hotel and bought our own Shabbos food, but when anyone in shul asked us where we're eating and we told them our plans, they were actually insulted. Like, how can you think of doing that? Those who were able to invited us and those who couldn't said they wished they could.
Also, in some locations, there are no hotels within walking distance to shul so the assumption is that visitors are put up by the locals. If you don't want to, just say no.
I get random calls too in my location in the tristate area if I can host visitors for Shabbos. I either say yes or no, but I don't get upset for being asked. |
There should be no assumptions. Only people from certain East Coast cities assume others are willing to host them and their large families free of charge. You dont need to vacation here.
And there are Air BNBs. Motels. So what if you have to walk an extra 3 blocks to shul? Or gasp? A whole mile?!? That's the out of town experience and you should live like locals. And yes, I have walked a mile to shul or even longer depending on where I have lived.
People are welcoming here. Love inviting new comers and as a community often host people. But we hate being expected to host. And yes "it's only 4 kids", "we need a crib" "how far are you from X" and "can we stay here Sunday too?" are all expectations and ridiculous to assume. We are not hotels and often arent away for vacation now because we cant afford it. So we arent Rich even though we live in LA or Florida. Dont assume. 
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amother
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Mon, Jan 17 2022, 9:12 pm
| amother [ Canary ] wrote: | Thankfully I haven't met anyone like you. We booked a hotel and bought our own Shabbos food, but when anyone in shul asked us where we're eating and we told them our plans, they were actually insulted. Like, how can you think of doing that? Those who were able to invited us and those who couldn't said they wished they could.
Also, in some locations, there are no hotels within walking distance to shul so the assumption is that visitors are put up by the locals. If you don't want to, just say no.
I get random calls too in my location in the tristate area if I can host visitors for Shabbos. I either say yes or no, but I don't get upset for being asked. |
I'm so excited to meet you! Let me know when you can host me and my family, and we will make our tickets! I have more than four kids, so I'll need three bedrooms. Thanks so much!
I'll bring you some wine and flowers!
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