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PSA Yeshiva Week shabbos

 
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amother




OP
 

Post Sun, Jan 16 2022, 11:42 am
Imagine your phone rings, or you get a text. “Hi! I heard you have some guest rooms! We’re planning on being in your city for shabbos and we need a place to stay for our whole family. It’s only four kids don’t worry. “

“Um, who is this?”

“I’m Chaya Sarah Leah Ochenschnauser. I got your name from someone.”

“You got my name from whom? Are you coming here for a wedding?”

“No, it’s for vacation.”
————-

People - if you would be bewildered by this phone call, imagine how we all feel here in vacation cities. Unless you really really believe you would become a hotel catering service, in which case send me your dates you’ll be out of town and where you’ll leave me the keys and I’ll stay in your house.

This has been your friendly PSA that your vacation budget should include hotels and food, unless your close family lives there!
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Java




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Jan 16 2022, 12:07 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Imagine your phone rings, or you get a text. “Hi! I heard you have some guest rooms! We’re planning on being in your city for shabbos and we need a place to stay for our whole family. It’s only four kids don’t worry. “

“Um, who is this?”

“I’m Chaya Sarah Leah Ochenschnauser. I got your name from someone.”

“You got my name from whom? Are you coming here for a wedding?”

“No, it’s for vacation.”
————-

People - if you would be bewildered by this phone call, imagine how we all feel here in vacation cities. Unless you really really believe you would become a hotel catering service, in which case send me your dates you’ll be out of town and where you’ll leave me the keys and I’ll stay in your house.

This has been your friendly PSA that your vacation budget should include hotels and food, unless your close family lives there!

Um... duh? I really hope no one would do this. So socially off.
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amother




Tealblue
 

Post Sun, Jan 16 2022, 12:09 pm
Does this really happen??? Where do people get the nerve?
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amother




Teal
 

Post Sun, Jan 16 2022, 12:11 pm
So many people expect everyone in LA, Florida etc have extra space and would love to host large families (4 kids plus 2 parents is a lot!!) For free. That they dont know. And arent forced to be coming.
It is one thing if someone has a medical procedure in our city, is here for a close family simcha etc. But if it is a simcha I would want the local family to call and see if I have the space.

Vacationers should assume they have to find their own lodging and food for Shabbos. I am not a bed and breakfast. A hotel.

Get an air bnb. Get a hotel room. Plenty of kosher takeout options here too.
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amother




Lightgreen
 

Post Sun, Jan 16 2022, 2:40 pm
DH learnt in a yeshiva out of town and has seen the other side so when we went to visit- we stayed at a hotel and rented (paid) an apt the days we needed to be walking distance to the yeshiva.
Although we almost never turn down someone who needs a place to stay.
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amother




Canary
 

Post Sun, Jan 16 2022, 2:45 pm
Thankfully I haven't met anyone like you. We booked a hotel and bought our own Shabbos food, but when anyone in shul asked us where we're eating and we told them our plans, they were actually insulted. Like, how can you think of doing that? Those who were able to invited us and those who couldn't said they wished they could.

Also, in some locations, there are no hotels within walking distance to shul so the assumption is that visitors are put up by the locals. If you don't want to, just say no.

I get random calls too in my location in the tristate area if I can host visitors for Shabbos. I either say yes or no, but I don't get upset for being asked.
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amother




Tulip
 

Post Sun, Jan 16 2022, 3:07 pm
This is very socially off.
I’ve had neighbors who offered to pay me for hosting their family just for sleeping space over yamim tovim.
Strangers vacationing for free in people’s homes???! I don’t know anyone who would think this is ok to ask.
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amother




Teal
 

Post Sun, Jan 16 2022, 3:15 pm
amother [ Canary ] wrote:
Thankfully I haven't met anyone like you. We booked a hotel and bought our own Shabbos food, but when anyone in shul asked us where we're eating and we told them our plans, they were actually insulted. Like, how can you think of doing that? Those who were able to invited us and those who couldn't said they wished they could.

Also, in some locations, there are no hotels within walking distance to shul so the assumption is that visitors are put up by the locals. If you don't want to, just say no.

I get random calls too in my location in the tristate area if I can host visitors for Shabbos. I either say yes or no, but I don't get upset for being asked.


There should be no assumptions. Only people from certain East Coast cities assume others are willing to host them and their large families free of charge. You dont need to vacation here.
And there are Air BNBs. Motels. So what if you have to walk an extra 3 blocks to shul? Or gasp? A whole mile?!? That's the out of town experience and you should live like locals. And yes, I have walked a mile to shul or even longer depending on where I have lived.

People are welcoming here. Love inviting new comers and as a community often host people. But we hate being expected to host. And yes "it's only 4 kids", "we need a crib" "how far are you from X" and "can we stay here Sunday too?" are all expectations and ridiculous to assume. We are not hotels and often arent away for vacation now because we cant afford it. So we arent Rich even though we live in LA or Florida. Dont assume. Can't Believe It
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amother




OP
 

Post Mon, Jan 17 2022, 9:09 pm
amother [ Lightgreen ] wrote:
DH learnt in a yeshiva out of town and has seen the other side so when we went to visit- we stayed at a hotel and rented (paid) an apt the days we needed to be walking distance to the yeshiva.
Although we almost never turn down someone who needs a place to stay.


I've hosted lots of people who need a place to stay. "Need" is the important word here.
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amother




OP
 

Post Mon, Jan 17 2022, 9:11 pm
amother [ Tulip ] wrote:
This is very socially off.
I’ve had neighbors who offered to pay me for hosting their family just for sleeping space over yamim tovim.
Strangers vacationing for free in people’s homes???! I don’t know anyone who would think this is ok to ask.


And we know dozens of people who do this, just from our experience. Most of them ask friends or relatives in those cities to find them places to stay and eat for shabbos.
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amother




OP
 

Post Mon, Jan 17 2022, 9:12 pm
amother [ Canary ] wrote:
Thankfully I haven't met anyone like you. We booked a hotel and bought our own Shabbos food, but when anyone in shul asked us where we're eating and we told them our plans, they were actually insulted. Like, how can you think of doing that? Those who were able to invited us and those who couldn't said they wished they could.

Also, in some locations, there are no hotels within walking distance to shul so the assumption is that visitors are put up by the locals. If you don't want to, just say no.

I get random calls too in my location in the tristate area if I can host visitors for Shabbos. I either say yes or no, but I don't get upset for being asked.


I'm so excited to meet you! Let me know when you can host me and my family, and we will make our tickets! I have more than four kids, so I'll need three bedrooms. Thanks so much!

I'll bring you some wine and flowers!
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