Feel guilty for giving melatonin

amother

Thu, Jan 20 2022, 11:38 pm

I give my kids melatonin many times, because they have a hard time falling asleep and it's hard to do bedtime for hours and hours. But I feel guilty about it because I dont know if it's the right thing. I dont know of any proven side effects.

Sometimes the mother's mental health is more important...

Should I be feeling guilty?

amother

Bronze

Fri, Jan 21 2022, 8:12 am

You need to reframe.

The benefits of your child getting enough sleep outweighs the unknowns of the melatonin.

You're feeling guilty because you're thinking that it's for your mental health. Make it about your child's health benefits.

Got approval from a few different doctors if that makes you feel better.

Also give the minimum amount possible. I cut the gummy into a few peices so it's a small amount each night.

miami85

Fri, Jan 21 2022, 8:24 am

So two things if a child NEEDS glasses would you feel guilty for helping them see? No.

Some children need supplemental melatonin to help them fall asleep or to reshape their circadian rhythm to something that works better for work/school schedules.

The other question you need to ask yourself is "how much sleep do my children need?" According to the AAP, normal sleep amounts for children 3-5 is 10-13 hours of sleep total. If there is a nap in there the nightime sleep gets reduced. When I learned that my kids were on the "10" end which means that it wasnt unreasonable for them to sleep from 9-7am, I stopped fighting bedtime at 7pm. When they had to get up at 6:30am for the bus we were able to get them in bed at 8:30--but it was not natural for their circadian rhythm so we had to supplement with melatonin to get them in bed on time. Now my kids's school doesn't start until 8:30am so they don't have to be up until 7:30am (carpool, no bus), and they are older and 6-11 needs 9-11 hours and my kids are on the 9-end. That means that they don't settle down until closer to 10pm (no they aren't tired during the day) it just means fewer battles in the evening and I do what I need to do while they play.

amother

Burgundy

Fri, Jan 21 2022, 8:29 am

amother [ Bronze ] wrote:

I give my child melatonin sometimes but the bolded make no sense.

If it’s unknown than how can you be so sure it outweighs it?

amother

Wandflower

Fri, Jan 21 2022, 8:44 am

I heard that it effects the boys harmones and it’s really not healthy at all and yes they say it affect the kids later on life with having children I would never give it to my kid my dr said it’s made for kids with autism because their body doesn’t produce what meletonian can give them but sadly a lot of Jewish pple take advantage of it not realizing all the harm they are causing.

amother

Chicory

Fri, Jan 21 2022, 8:49 am

amother [ Wandflower ] wrote:

Your dr is ill informed.

I took my kid to a neurologist at Columbia medical centers years and told her we give dc 1/6mg of melatonin to help them fall asleep. The dr laughed and said, just give her the full mg. Happens to be 1/6th worked better than a full mg at that point, but the drs point was, no harm giving more.

But anyways, I’m the last person to take supplement advice from drs. Pubmed is my friend though, and it’s full of the amazing effects of exogenous melatonin on the brain.

There are even studies on high dose melatonin for covid. Like upward of 50mg.

amother

Almond

Fri, Jan 21 2022, 9:03 am

A good bedtime routine in a house is the best replacement for melatonin. The moms I know who use it it’s because they don’t want to put in the effort to make a calming bedtime routine for their kids so they give melatonin instead. If I gave melatonin would be a small amount for a very short period of time. Most kids will fall asleep right away if have a proper bedtime routine. And kids that age shouldn’t be going to bed at 9-10 at night. That’s really not good for their physical or emotional well being. More like 7- 8 at night.

FranticFrummie

Fri, Jan 21 2022, 9:08 am

I never advocate self medicating your kids, but with professional guidance there are supplements that can help.

Some kids need a half a mg, some need 3mg. It depends on your child's age and growth rate. It depends on a lot of things. There is no one size fits all answer here.

This is a question for a pediatrician. Melatonin is produced naturally in the body, but some people do not produce enough on their own. You need to discuss dosage, long term effects, and maybe get some help for yourself to relieve some of your stress.

DD would cry to me desperately how tired she was, and how much she wanted to sleep but just couldn't. Our ped approved 1.5 mg for her, and as she got older she slowly weaned herself off of it, with no help from me. She's 18, and her sleep cycles are pretty well trained now. She gets up early for work, gets to bed on time, and doesn't walk around like a zombie.

To answer your question - if a pediatrician gives the OK, then no, you should not feel guilty. You are helping your child get very important sleep that they need for proper growth. If your child was deficient in vitamin D, would you feel guilty for giving that?

I get that some nights you just want them to all be quiet so you can think. That's legit. Every mom has those days (years!). Just be self aware about your own motivations. Are you doing what's best for your kids, or for you? As long as you are clear about that, then you're doing a lot better than a lot of moms out there, so give yourself a pat on the back for even coming here and asking the question.

amother

Chicory

Fri, Jan 21 2022, 9:12 am

amother [ Almond ] wrote:

In some houses, for some kids, it’s possible that better routine or better sleep hygiene would eliminate the need for melatonin. But there are so many kids for whom this isn’t true. And it’s hurtful to those parents who do everything right and their kids still can’t fall asleep. Neurotransmitter imbalances are very real.

amother

Wandflower

Fri, Jan 21 2022, 9:19 am

amother [ Chicory ] wrote:

ill informed???
Chill you do what you want op asked a questions and I answered what I thought I never said you had to agree with me or doc. Do as you please….
Or is ur guilty conscience getting so aggravated ??? My dr doesn’t recommend or support it that doesn’t make him ill informed and no I would never harm my kids with it you are more then welcome to continue doing what you want with your kids I won’t call you any names because im confident with my decision

amother

Chicory

Fri, Jan 21 2022, 9:24 am

amother [ Wandflower ] wrote:

Ill informed because there is scant evidence in the literature of any ill effects, and lots of literature on the benefits.

FranticFrummie

Fri, Jan 21 2022, 9:24 am

amother [ Almond ] wrote:

Do you have any kids on the autism spectrum? The majority of them do no produce nearly enough melatonin. Lots of scientific journal studies to back it up.

I have clinical depression sometimes. Maybe I should just cheer up and get over it. Rolling Eyes