6 month old doesn't sleep

amother

Fri, Jan 21 2022, 12:39 am

I'm looking for ideas, advice, tips, comiseration (is that even a word), and anything else not negative or mean you have to offer.
My 6 month takes great naps during the day. I put her down and she puts herself to sleep and will sleep a few hours at a time.
But the night is a disaster. I have a routine that I stick to and I end up nursing her to sleep, which I'm Ok with. But she won't stay sleeping. Until 12am she is constantly waking up. Like every half hour. I've tried letting her play, putting her in the swing, rocking or nursing back to sleep.... 9pm - 12 am she barely sleeps. At about 12 she will finally fall asleep in my arms only, no one else, and I put her in the crib. But even then she will only sleep 2 hours at most. How can I get her to sleep a normal night? I know she knows how because daytime naps are not a problem.
I am losing my mind.

Some key points people may ask about:
- she is not in my room anymore
- she eats solids already
- she is not hungry because if I offer food /bottle/nurse she will refuse
- tried light/dark
- music or noisemakers didn't make a difference
- house is generally quiet by the time I am putting her to sleep
- have a routine since she was born and has been consistent
- there was a short time about 3 months ago that she gave me a 6 hour stretch

amother

Mayflower

Fri, Jan 21 2022, 2:58 am

I'm right there losing my mind together with you. My 14 month old is up every night for hours jumping around, still wakes every 2-3 hours to nurse, and takes forever to go back to sleep. He takes great naps, probably bec he is tired from being up all night.

My brain is mush. My body is refusing to move. My eyes are stinging from forcing them to stay open. Sometimes I think I'm hallucinating. My shalom bayis is crumbling because I'm so irritable.

I feel you. I wish I would have advice.

amother

Fri, Jan 21 2022, 8:21 am

sarahph1 wrote:

Sleep train!!
It’s the only way I got back my sanity I was in the same boat as you and from one day to the next I was able to Sleep a full night and so was my baby!!! It’s a life saver

I'm not willing to let her cry it out.

amother

Daylily

Fri, Jan 21 2022, 8:37 am

sleep training does not always mean CIO, there are more gentle methods. also you mentioned she sleeps a few hours for naps, it might be too much at a time that it's affecting night sleep. look up wake windows for that age and try to stick with the correct wake and sleep times it really makes a difference

Window

Fri, Jan 21 2022, 8:42 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I'm not willing to let her cry it out.

I wouldn’t either. A more gentle method is to sit next to her crib and comfort her without taking her out. Teach her that night time is spent in the crib, no matter what. Rub her, talk to her, rock the crib, etc…
Have a ton of patience and each time it will take less time. She won’t be screaming her head off because you’re right there comforting her. (It might take an hour or two the first time)

amother

Fri, Jan 21 2022, 8:46 am

amother [ Daylily ] wrote:

I have been conscious of this and keeping on top of it. I don't wake her up but put her back in for naps based off recommended wake times and it's usually pretty spot on. She goes to sleep nicely and quickly

amother

Fri, Jan 21 2022, 8:47 am

Window wrote:

I've tried not taking her out but she just cries. I do stay in her room with her when I take her out but it's hard. It's alot of hours every night. I have other kids to tend to, house to care for, not to mention my own sleep

amother

Fri, Jan 21 2022, 8:57 am

SG18 wrote:

Can your husband try putting her to sleep? If my LO isn't hungry, DH will sometimes do bedtime, soothing back to sleep. Patting her back, sitting with her, until she falls asleep.
We don't let her cry alone, either.

I think we missed the boat for that.
She will literally not calm down when anyone else is holding her besides me. Not dh, other children or other family members.
She is spoiled. In general I'm OK with that but the night time is just getting so hard

SG18

Fri, Jan 21 2022, 9:16 am

We only started doing this a few months in. She will calm down, once she realizes you're not there and someone she loves is holding her.
We're at the 9 month sleep regression with teething. She's gotten clingier, and cries for me often. After a few minutes of my husband holding her and telling her "Ima isn't here right now," she calms down and falls asleep.
I've found white noise to be very helpful, as well.

amother

Fri, Jan 21 2022, 9:19 am

SG18 wrote:

Dh sometimes works at night. So I have to check his schedule if there's a week he'll be home consistently every night maybe ill try it. I'll plan to go out every night and they won't have a choice Very Happy

amother

Fri, Jan 21 2022, 12:06 pm

tichellady wrote:

Is she napping too much? How many naps and how long are they? My guess is this is the issue

She is usually taking 2 naps. 2-3 hours each. She is up by 5pm the latest and put to sleep for the first time between 7 & 8 depending on when she woke up from her second nap and how she's behaving. I try read her queues so she doesn't get to that overtired point.

tichellady

Fri, Jan 21 2022, 12:58 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I would wake her after 2 hours max for each nap. Definitely wouldn’t have her take a three hour nap. Sounds like she is a getting too much daytime sleep. I would cap it at 3.5 hours a day total. And I would leave 3 hours between last nap and bedtime

amother

Fri, Jan 21 2022, 1:05 pm

tichellady wrote:

I can try it waking her but she won't last 3 hours between naps and then she'll be too tired to go to sleep herself. I don't want to mess with the sleep that's actually working