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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Manners & Etiquette
amother
OP
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Fri, Jan 21 2022, 9:36 am
My DD will be going to some friends over winter break. She will be staying with one friend for a few nights then another friend for shabbos. Should she bring a hist gift for both families or just for the shabbos one? What would be an appropriate gift that she can pack small since she is flying with only hand luggage? Amazon links would be appreciated
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amother
Scarlet
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Fri, Jan 21 2022, 9:38 am
Both friends.
Recently we got pretty and deliciously soft hand/kitchen towels as a gift. I love them!
Chocolate is another option.
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zaq
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Fri, Jan 21 2022, 9:43 am
Both, of course. The gift isn't for Shabbos, it's to thank the host for having her. You don't go to someone's house empty-handed, even if it's just for one meal.
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justmarried:)
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Fri, Jan 21 2022, 9:45 am
You can always order the gift directly to the persons house so she doesnt need to bring it with her
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singleagain
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Fri, Jan 21 2022, 9:50 am
justmarried:) wrote: | You can always order the gift directly to the persons house so she doesnt need to bring it with her |
This and I might let her go and see if there's anything she can take note of something they like/need and send it afterwards
I was by my friend and overhead her say something about needing a new broom. I anyways was running out to Target and bought her a new broom she was so appreciative. Bc it's one less thing off her head.
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amother
Brickred
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Fri, Jan 21 2022, 9:59 am
Definitely you need to send to both.
I would send the gift before or else I think it looks like either you forgot or are checkout the accommodations to see what they “deserve”.
You can send it from Amazon (or anywhere else) so she doesn’t need to carry it. It is ok if it gets there early.
Is this their primary residence or a vacation home?
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ra_mom
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Fri, Jan 21 2022, 10:02 am
A surprise delivery of a cut up fruit platter is always nice.
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amother
Brickred
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Fri, Jan 21 2022, 10:14 am
ra_mom wrote: | A surprise delivery of a cut up fruit platter is always nice. |
TBH, I only think so if I have been informed in advance. It spoils and while it probably won’t because it is easy and already cut, the fruit in my fridge that I just bought and am now not eating because I am eating this one, will. You
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amother
OP
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Fri, Jan 21 2022, 10:33 am
thank you all for the replies! I think I want her to bring it with her and not order it to their home. I think the GIVING of the gift is nice. So...I like the idea of hand/kitchen towels or better washing towels for al netilas yadayim? Someone suggested to me irl a matchbox cover, but I was thinking that is too specific...
links for nice hand towels? or other small gifts?
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amother
Darkblue
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Fri, Jan 21 2022, 10:38 am
Always send it before she goes. Otherwise it seems rude. And make sure to send it!! So many times kids came to one of my kids birthday party and the moms say "I started ordering amazon gifts for birthdays, its coming" and then it never shows up. My kid is expecting it, especially when the friend asks if he likes X or Y. Personally I always have at least 3 days from invitation to party (usually a lot more) so I order to me, wrap and bring with us.
I dont show up to a Shabbos meal without a gift in hand. It could be anything. So definitely if it is a few days it is only polite.
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amother
Zinnia
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Fri, Jan 21 2022, 10:54 am
I agree that both hosts should receive gifts. Some ideas of gifts we received that I really appreciated:
1. Nice pair of salad servers (fork/spoon).
2. Lucite Al Hamichya (or anything lucite would be a good idea since it's light and popular now)
3. Travel Hadlakas Neiros tea light set - perfect gift from a Shabbos guest
4. For the Shabbos hosts, can she stop somewhere local on Friday and buy flowers?
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amother
OP
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Mon, Jan 24 2022, 8:27 pm
Just wondering, for those who say they never go to someone else without a gift and would for sure send with daughter no matter how many nights even weekday. Do you send a gift if your DD is staying by a friend for one night? does it make a difference if that friend is a school friend or if it is out of town?
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amother
Melon
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Mon, Jan 24 2022, 8:37 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote: | Do you send a gift if your DD is staying by a friend for one night? does it make a difference if that friend is a school friend or if it is out of town? |
Yes, I do and no, it doesn't. I always send something, though for a weeknight as opposed to a whole Shabbos the gift would be considerably smaller. Maybe a small container of nuts or dried fruit as opposed to a whole platter, or a small but pretty jar of bath salts.
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amother
Lightcyan
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Mon, Jan 24 2022, 9:45 pm
amother [ Melon ] wrote: | Yes, I do and no, it doesn't. I always send something, though for a weeknight as opposed to a whole Shabbos the gift would be considerably smaller. Maybe a small container of nuts or dried fruit as opposed to a whole platter, or a small but pretty jar of bath salts. | This.
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amother
Brickred
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Mon, Jan 24 2022, 10:07 pm
If my DD was 8 and they spent Shabbos afternoon playing and then begged for a sleepover Motzi Shabbos, I would not send a gift. But in all likelihood, it is a good friend and she either sleep by me the week before or will next week. Anything more, yes. DD took a bus and went to her OOT camp friend Monday-Wednesday, (2 nights) I sent a gift. She is in SEM, she goes to my sister-in-law for Shabbos, she brings a gift.
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amother
OP
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Mon, Jan 24 2022, 10:18 pm
thanks for the replies. What are some more ideas for a one night stay during the week gift for an out of town friend? something easy to pack
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amother
Almond
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Mon, Jan 24 2022, 10:20 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote: | Just wondering, for those who say they never go to someone else without a gift and would for sure send with daughter no matter how many nights even weekday. Do you send a gift if your DD is staying by a friend for one night? does it make a difference if that friend is a school friend or if it is out of town? |
yes. we always send.
go to homegoods and find some nice towels, or a few nice picture frames, or a nice hand soap and lotion set. you can spend 10$ and its a sign of appreciation.
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