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imasinger
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 Sun, Jan 23 2022, 8:22 am
It sounds like wherever DS is at the moment, it's not a good fit.
How willing is he to talk to you?
What would be involved in getting him home, so you can discuss further and figure out good options?
Of course it's not too late! They're called bochrim because they're of age to choose. Sometimes, people make wrong choices, and some of those wrong choices can be harder to grow past than others. But with love, davening, time, and good eitza, there's much reason to hope.
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mommy9
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Sun, Jan 23 2022, 9:14 am
| sequoia wrote: | No we haven’t. They were needed on the farm, store, family business, etc.
At no point in history could most or many families get by without the help of young men.
If you mean “extremely wealthy people who were also super religious,” that’s a very small category. |
There were always people who did. Not super wealthy but ready to sacrifice their sons help on the farm or in the store for the sake of their learning.
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amother
Dustypink
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Sun, Jan 23 2022, 9:58 am
| mommy9 wrote: | | There were always people who did. Not super wealthy but ready to sacrifice their sons help on the farm or in the store for the sake of their learning. |
Those are the key words right there. There were people who did, but it wasn't a mass movement where everyone in a particular circle was expected to go. People made choices that were the best fit for themselves as per their unique circumstances. Right now, we don't have that luxury. We set one standard for the community and everyone is expected to follow.
There are pros and cons to everything, dorming included. A dorming environment can do wonders for some kids but be detrimental to others. If only, our society offers parents' the freedom to truly do what's best for their kids instead of creating these superficial & detrimental constraints that we all force our kids into.
We force our kids into a tight box, and then use that tight box as a measuring stick of their character. And we, the parents, just willingly play along, all the while watching how so many of our kids get hurt in the process. It's so sad.
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