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Dorming for high school
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chanchy123




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Jan 23 2022, 12:51 am
My two oldest dorm for high school - for different reasons.
Initially I was not so excited about it because I also believe that children should grow up in their homes.
However, DD needed a very specific school, she attended the school for middle school without a dorm option and by the trimmer high school came around she we wouldn’t hear it a continue commute. It’s only a hour away from home and DH works in the city of her school, she comes home almost every Thursday for the weekend- before covid she’d come home on Tuesday as well.
It built up here confidence and independence and helped her build social connections (she always struggled socially). While it was not my first choice to have her dorm - I think it’s perfect for her.
DS insisted he wanted to dorm because there aren’t that many kids in each age bracket in our yishuv - they’re lonely and bored after school and a a lot of the kids go to boarding school which increases the loneliness and boredom. We found a school that caters exactly to his very specific needs and he’s blossoming with friends - he comes home most weekends abs has an in-Shabbat like once a month.
It’s not ideal - but I think it’s good for him. I don’t know if the other kids will stay or dorm when the time comes.
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amother




Leaf
 

Post Tue, Jan 25 2022, 10:32 am
To echo the last post, children should ideally and obviously grow up in their own homes. Even if it means compromising their education a bit. I love my sons and enjoy them, even though the teenage years are difficult. I really don't understand why so many send their sons away at such a young age.
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amother




Mistyrose
 

Post Tue, Jan 25 2022, 11:23 am
If you have a larger family than your house can hold, it gets the older boys out of the way for much of the year.
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amother




Leaf
 

Post Tue, Jan 25 2022, 11:25 am
amother [ Mistyrose ] wrote:
If you have a larger family than your house can hold, it gets the older boys out of the way for much of the year.


if you get rid of all the kids, you have much less housework, too.
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mha3484




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Jan 25 2022, 11:32 am
There is also a middle ground. Staying in the same city but dorming. In my city three of the main yeshivos have a dorm and there are plenty of local boys who stay in during the week and come home for shabbos. I think for a lot of people carpooling is very hard. 7:30 shacharis/maariv ending at 9:30-9:45 is rough not everyone can manage that when you have a lot of other kids and or a husband who may not be able to share in the driving.
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amother




Chestnut
 

Post Tue, Jan 25 2022, 12:52 pm
I'm another mom whose mind has been somewhat changed over time. I always said there's no way I'll send my boys away for high school. But in my community (not in the tristate area) there is a small selection of schools. My oldest would only fit in one of them, and it's very small and highly selective.

My husband kept on bringing up that we should look into out of town options as backups, but I was terrified of doing that. I kept on researching the other local options and coming away thinking that there's very little chance my son will thrive in those places. Meanwhile, my dh was researching dorming options that sounded perfect for him.

B"H he got into his first choice. But if he hadn't...I don't know.

My next son is in middle school, but he's much easier to place. Seems like he would thrive anywhere, so if he doesn't get into one place, wherever he gets in will be fine. My next one down is young but also seems like more than one of the in-town places would work for him. But my oldest...I honestly cringe when I think of him in a different place, and I'm so grateful to Hashem that he was accepted by the only option that was ideal for him. (He does not have academic issues, that's not my concern, for the record.)

If that place didn't exist in our city (it's only a few years old, so if he were a few years older), I'm not sure what we would have done.
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