It’s hard | Imamother

Log in / Sign Up

List of Forums + New Post Recipe Box Usergroups Following My Posts Bookmarks

Private Messages Advanced Search Rules New User Guide FAQ Advertise Contact Us

Forum -> Parenting our children

It’s hard

View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother

Sun, Jan 23 2022, 8:26 pm

I’m not sure what I’m looking for here....I just feel like I’m dealing with a lot... I have 2 children with high functioning autism, 1 with life threatening food allergies and asthma, and I feel like on the outside my family looks perfect, Bh I have beautiful children with no visible disabilities or health issues, but every day is so challenging and no one realizes how hard things are for me. No one sees the tantrums I deal with on a daily basis. No one sees that I never get a break from cooking and baking. Ever. If I go away I have to take everything along for this child. No one sees what mealtimes look in my house. There is so much that I’m carrying and it’s all invisible.

happytobemom

Mon, Jan 24 2022, 7:56 am

Definitely Very hard!
Give yourself a pat on the back. You are amazing!
Any way you can get a break? Night out by yourself? Lunch with friends? What do you enjoy that can be just for you?
Maybe you need to share with others - get some real life support. Sounds like you're keeping too much to yourself.

Hug

amother

Canary

Mon, Jan 24 2022, 8:05 am

Autism and life threatening food allergies are very legitimate health challenges, even if they are invisible. Maybe even more so because they are invisible, so you don’t get the same sympathy people with more visible challenges tend to get. It’s normal that you feel so overwhelmed! Give yourself space to grieve what you thought parenting would be like.

amother

Mon, Jan 24 2022, 10:29 am

Thank you for the validation

Chayalle

Mon, Jan 24 2022, 10:32 am

One of my sisters had a good friend who was dealing with a challenging SN situation with one of her children. She went to speak to R' Dovid Feinstein Z"L about it, and he exclaimed to her "you are dealing with alot! I'd be off my rocker!"

I'm just plain old me, OP, but your post reminds me of this. You are dealing with alot OP.

At the very least, pat yourself on the back and tell yourself what a herculean job you are doing, every day you pull this off.

amother

Skyblue

Mon, Jan 24 2022, 10:35 am

I work with kids with autism and I have a lot of admiration for the parents. You may not realize but people who do know respect you a lot.
As for allergies I give you a lot of credit, but maybe it would be easier if people know about that? I don't know if you're open to this, but in some communities people cook for bikur cholim and are experienced in dealing with allergies. Maybe you can get a meal once a week or even once a month? (my friend once cooked for a family like this). Of course I'm not sure if they are equipped to deal with your allergies but it's just a thought.

Page 1 of 1