Notifying guests ab. kashrus standards

amother

Sat, Jan 29 2022, 6:53 pm

I wanted to know when inviting others to eat by for shabbos (or anytime) do you (or am I supposed to) let the others know about specific chumros that we are not keeping in advance or are we to assume that the others would ask/let us know. Foe example if we are not makpid on yoshon (challahs) or we are not specific on a specific shechita (we just buy what is kosher from moishas , krm etc) or we cook chalav stam in the pots we serve dairy to our guests (which we are serving chalav yisroel) or we only have one sink where we wash milchig and fleishig (we put the piece in our sink to seperate each time as per our rav's guidance but I can understand if others wouldn't be comfortable with it) or we don't check our lettuce but rather use bodek, or with iceberg lettuce we only check the first 3 leaves, or anything else, am I supposed to notify the guests before coming or not ?

amother

Ballota

Sat, Jan 29 2022, 7:03 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

It's their responsibility to ask if they really care.

amother

Lotus

Sat, Jan 29 2022, 7:04 pm

Your examples are wide-ranged, from normal and not an issue to what defines kashrus for many people. Mainly the dairy and meat, I would definitely tell them I use Chalav Stam and if you know they're makpid on a specific shechita I'd tell tell them what I use (but they'll probably ask you that if they really mind.)

amother

DarkGreen

Sat, Jan 29 2022, 7:21 pm

Only if it's not normal in your community. Meaning if everyone in your town except you keeps cholov yisrael, you should tell people you don't, because they'll assume you do. If your town is split, they'll ask if they care.

imasinger

Sat, Jan 29 2022, 7:24 pm

We always ask guests if they have any allergies, preferences/sensitivities, or other food related details we should know about. If there are kashrus details, they will let us know.

Mom/Bubby/Morah

Sat, Jan 29 2022, 7:40 pm

imasinger wrote:

We always ask guests if they have any allergies, preferences/sensitivities, or other food related details we should know about. If there are kashrus details, they will let us know.

Op it’s very sensitive of you to pose this question and imasinger this is the perfect way to give the guests the opportunity to ask about kashrut standards without feeling awkward . Not worthy

amother

Periwinkle

Sat, Jan 29 2022, 9:57 pm

If they are so makpid, they will probably check with you or just not eat out.
My DH is makpid on shechitah and we don’t often get hosted but when we do, he avoids eating the chicken and meat unless he knows what it is. He doesn’t like to make a fuss in someone else’s house so he doesn’t ask directly and usually no one notices if he doesn’t eat certain things.

amother

Snowflake

Sat, Jan 29 2022, 9:59 pm

imasinger wrote:

We always ask guests if they have any allergies, preferences/sensitivities, or other food related details we should know about. If there are kashrus details, they will let us know.

Good point. I usually ask first time guests if there's anything they don't eat, to include allergies, preferences, kashrus, etc.

naomi2

Sun, Jan 30 2022, 1:25 am

I live in Brooklyn and I don't ask my guests about any of those things except chalav Stam. There are those that keep and those that don't and it usually comes up with a new playdate so I ask the parent before the child comes if they are makpid on chalav yosroel and also abt allergies.

SYA

Sun, Jan 30 2022, 8:00 am

Specific communities have specific standards. If you live in this type of community / send to a specific, the guest will usually assume you keep to those standards. Then it’s your obligation to tell them.

singleagain

Sun, Jan 30 2022, 8:06 am

I once had two girlfriends over for shabbat in college. My mom always asks about food preferences and allergies bc she do that. Anyways one friend said she only ate a certain shechita. The other friends are anything except that shechita... So my mom made two pans of chicken and everyone was happy.