Attention Purim Story fans!

happytobemom

Sat, Feb 19 2022, 5:46 pm

Anyone out there know "The Purim Story" by heart like I do? From your childhood, or from your own children? (or both!) Is it coming out of your ears this time of year?
Here's a test - join me in sharing what you remember!

Here goes....

P.S. No cheating!

happytobemom

Sat, Feb 19 2022, 5:50 pm

Hear ye, hear ye!
The king hereby invites all the inhabitants of the city of Shushan, to a royal feast to be held at the king's royal palace!

mommyfish

Sat, Feb 19 2022, 5:57 pm

Omg no one wins at this game like me lol.

“Here ye, here ye!”
“That foolish king achashveirosh. Always raising our taxes, it’s about time he did something right with his money!”
“A royal feast at the royal palace! I can hardly wait to taste the food!”
“Who cares about the food (burp) as long as there’s something (burp) to eat!”

tryinghard

Sat, Feb 19 2022, 6:23 pm

“Go tell your stupid master that in the house of my father king Belshatzar, he wouldn’t have been good enough to clean the horses stable! My father could drink enough wine for a 1000 men and wouldn’t get drunk. But Achashverosh drinks just a little bit and becomes completely crazy. I refuse to obey his In-Sane command. Tell the king I will not come!”

PractclyPerfect

Sat, Feb 19 2022, 6:30 pm

tryinghard wrote:

has (or takes) just a few drinks

PractclyPerfect

Sat, Feb 19 2022, 6:40 pm

"We've got Portuguese pigs, Scandinavian snails, rhinoceros pits and elephant tails. Californian clams, and Syrian snakes, freeze-dried ants and cockroach cake. Alaskan-"

"That's okay, I've lost my appetite."
"And besides, we can't eat that, because we grew up on Torah aaa (613 Torah Ave background) aand mitzvos!"

"Well, perhaps you'd like something to drink."
"What's your specialty?"
"Expensive old wine"
"I want expensive new wine. You can give the old wine to somebody else!"
"Old wine tastes much better than new wine."
"Hm. Well, how old is the wine you've got?"
"At this party, everyone is served wine older than himself. How old are you, sir?"
"I'm...68."
(Whisper) "But Shaul, you always told me you were 35! Hey, Shaul, why did you kick me in the ankle?!"
"Everyone is always making mistakes about my age. I just look so young because I exercise."

naomi2

Sat, Feb 19 2022, 7:02 pm

What's that big cup youre holding?
Its a puska
A pushka ? that doesn't look like a pushka to me
No I said puska and where I come from ya drink it when somebody gives it to ya.
But that's so big, I could drown in it!
Your drink it till the last drop
Till who drops?
Until you drop, now open up your mouth so I can pour it in....
Shauuuuuuuuuggggggggl!
I'm coming nuti, I'm coming
What is Shushan is going on here? Didn't I say no puskas at this party? Now go away you bad boy
Boo hoo boo hoo
I love this thread, I can hear the voices when I read it lol!

keym

Sat, Feb 19 2022, 7:06 pm

A toast
To the destruction of the Jews
The destruction of the Jews
Light or Dark
I like mine dark, your majesty
(Crunching)
Delicious

mommyfish

Sat, Feb 19 2022, 7:14 pm

“Hey whaddayaknow, here comes our good friend, Mr. Akum and his son Junior! Nice day outside, isn’t it? Hey, Akum, it’s me, your old pal Shaul”
“Oh, I didn’t notice.”
“We’ll, uh like I was saying, it’s a real nice day outside, isn’t it?”
“It will be even nicer when we kill all you Jews”
“Pipe down, Junior…My son and I are in a big rush.”
“Daddy, is he the one you said your gonna take his house, after he gets killed?”
“Come on, son. Let’s go”

momallhours

Sat, Feb 19 2022, 7:17 pm

YAY! I love it!!
Here comes Haman second to the king everybody down everybody swing ... we bow down when Haman's around

Salami Bolgna

happytobemom

Sat, Feb 19 2022, 8:45 pm

tryinghard wrote:

“Go tell your stupid master that in the house of my father king Belshatzar, he wouldn’t have been good enough to clean the horses stable! My father could drink enough wine for a 1000 men and wouldn’t get drunk. But Achashverosh has just a few drinks and becomes completely crazy. I refuse to obey his In-Sane command. Tell the king I will not come!”

Your majesty, the queen refuses to come!
How dare she! What did she say?
Well first she said, what is it now?
Alright, but get to the point!
She said, go tell your stupid master...
What did she say?
She said, go tell your stupid-
Enough! So, that's what she said.
Yup, that's what she said!

happytobemom

Sun, Feb 20 2022, 12:44 pm

momallhours wrote:

Keep this thread going but does anyone know where I can find the purim story now?

Any Judaica store
Many local groceries also

happytobemom

Sun, Feb 20 2022, 2:36 pm

Laayaa!
Did you tend the garden today as I instructed?

What do you mean?? You didn't do it yet?? Don't give me your excuses. I know why you transgressed my command. You really want to keep your Shabbos, don't you. But it won't work. My grandfather Nevuchadnetzar destroyed your holy temple. And I will prevent it from ever being rebuilt! Ha ha ha!
You see these water basins? They were taken from you holy temple. Your G-d is no longer with you! If He still has any power, why doesn't He stand up and avenge his honor?!

Your majesty, yourself demonstrates the greatness of my G-d! If Hashem allows such wicked people as yourself to continue living, it is the biggest proof of His greatness. Don't worry, you won't go unsuffering for long. Hashem has seen all the suffering and embarrassment you have caused to all Jewish girls.