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Naming after grandparent
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amother




Papaya
 

Post Mon, Feb 21 2022, 4:19 pm
amother [ Olive ] wrote:
When my father died, my sister was pregnant. Her father-in-law, who has the same first name as my father, told her right away that he's not superstitious in any way, and if it's a boy, she should absolutely give my father's name. It was a boy, and he's the only one in that generation to have the name. The name meant a great deal to my mother, and the whole extended family appreciated the generosity of the other grandfather.


That is so, so nice of her father-in-law!

However, my relative had a similar case - her mom died, but her MIL had the same name as her mom had. She REALLY wanted to name after her mom.

Her DH asked R' Chaim Kanievsky and he said not to name the baby the same name, so they added a letter to the name to turn it into a different name.
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amother




Cherry
 

Post Mon, Feb 21 2022, 4:29 pm
We had this situation.
My husbands grandmother passed away and a few weeks later my daughter was born.
My mil totally expected us to name after the grandmother, but it’s also my grandmothers second name. There was no way I would use that name with my grandmother alive and well BH.

It’s their Hebrew name which neither of them were ever known by, but it means something to me and I couldn’t do it.
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LittleDucky




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Feb 21 2022, 5:02 pm
So then how is it ok to have so many grandchildren named after the same person? They are all in the same family and share the same name... why is it different if they are grandparents vs grandchildren?

This issue seems to be less of an issue as well because the full Hebrew name will not be the same- shlomo ben yehuda, shlomo ben yakov etc.
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amother




Dodgerblue
 

Post Mon, Feb 21 2022, 5:21 pm
That’s me! I was named after one grandparent (we’ll call her Sarah) when the other grandparent (Chaya Sarah) was still alive. My parents are Ashkenazi Yeshivish and asked a shailah. They were even told they could also name after the other grandparent when the time came.

So ask your own shailah.
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amother




Moonstone
 

Post Mon, Feb 21 2022, 5:24 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Of course I would ask a shayla, was just wondering if anyone had encountered this and what was done.

We had this in my husbands family.
It took more than 15 years for the name to be given. Both paternal and maternal grandparent had only one name.
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amother




Moonstone
 

Post Mon, Feb 21 2022, 5:26 pm
LittleDucky wrote:
So then how is it ok to have so many grandchildren named after the same person? They are all in the same family and share the same name... why is it different if they are grandparents vs grandchildren?

This issue seems to be less of an issue as well because the full Hebrew name will not be the same- shlomo ben yehuda, shlomo ben yakov etc.


The reason not to have the same name I think comes from kibbud av. Where we hold not to say the parents/grandparents name in front of them. If you name a child with that name then you end up saying that name when you are near them. We don’t have a problem saying cousins/ aunts/ uncles names, so there’s no problem having the same name as them.
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amother




Topaz
 

Post Mon, Feb 21 2022, 5:42 pm
I wouldn't
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amother




Hotpink
 

Post Mon, Feb 21 2022, 6:15 pm
It's not always so clear-cut problematic, especially if you ask.
I know a family that 1 grandfather was Chaim.
The other grandfather was Moshe Chaim, but known as Moishy or Morris, never Chaim.
They spoke to some top Gedolim who said to name the Child Yosef Chaim but call him Yosef or Yossi, as long as the other grandfather was asked and approved.

I myself was given the same name as my great-grandmother while she was still alive, (by mistake) and she never said anything to my parents or me her entire life. I'm named after a parents parent, and the parent wanted the Nechama of naming after their mother and totally forgot that a living grandmother also had the name.
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amother




Moonstone
 

Post Mon, Feb 21 2022, 6:26 pm
amother [ Hotpink ] wrote:
It's not always so clear-cut problematic, especially if you ask.
I know a family that 1 grandfather was Chaim.
The other grandfather was Moshe Chaim, but known as Moishy or Morris, never Chaim.
They spoke to some top Gedolim who said to name the Child Yosef Chaim but call him Yosef or Yossi, as long as the other grandfather was asked and approved.

I myself was given the same name as my great-grandmother while she was still alive, (by mistake) and she never said anything to my parents or me her entire life. I'm named after a parents parent, and the parent wanted the Nechama of naming after their mother and totally forgot that a living grandmother also had the name.


I think it might also be different for someone naming after an actual parent.
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mommy2x




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Feb 22 2022, 11:13 pm
We have the same issue. My brother named only my grandmother's second name and while both my father and grandfather agree that the baby is cute and the name is nice, they both don't feel that the baby was named after my grandmother. They still did it, but if your goal is to respect people who are alive, double check they would feel respected. Neither my father no my grandfather feels that the baby was name after my grandmother and feels no respect in that sense, though they respect the baby's parents decision and understand there was nothing else for them to do.
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amother




Butterscotch
 

Post Wed, Feb 23 2022, 12:44 am
You should first make sure the living grandparent is ok with it. It can cause a lot of hurt. With one of my children I used a certain name (not this same situation) I didn't think to ask before because I truly thought they wouldn't mind. Boy did I regret it.
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