My kid didn't get any shalach manos

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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Purim

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amother

Thu, Mar 17 2022, 12:45 pm

My son is very upset that not even one of his friends gave him shalach manos. We drove to 5 and none were home. He thought he would get at least one person who left at our door or came and no one did.

amother

Bottlebrush

Thu, Mar 17 2022, 12:46 pm

That’s so sad. If it’s a drive I try to call and make sure we’ll get to see at least one or two.

amother

Garnet

Thu, Mar 17 2022, 1:06 pm

Why don’t you go out and drive him to some friends?

amother

Seablue

Thu, Mar 17 2022, 1:07 pm

Give him one your Shalach manos

amother

Pumpkin

Thu, Mar 17 2022, 1:12 pm

Some people deliver later in the day and don't have stuff ready to hand out earlier.

amother

Marigold

Thu, Mar 17 2022, 1:29 pm

For next year, do it on taanis esther.
For now, do a mommy son SM exchange

amother

Lawngreen

Thu, Mar 17 2022, 1:35 pm

This is so messed up. The mitzvah is to give not get. He did his mitzvah.

happyone

Thu, Mar 17 2022, 1:40 pm

amother [ Lawngreen ] wrote:

This is so messed up. The mitzvah is to give not get. He did his mitzvah.

That's the adult version. Children see it as a sign of friendship. I feel for this child. I'd love to send him a package if you were in my neighborhood.

amother

Daffodil

Thu, Mar 17 2022, 1:42 pm

Aw poor baby Sad

I remember feeling this way in Purim too.

amother

Lawngreen

Thu, Mar 17 2022, 1:47 pm

happyone wrote:

That's the adult version. Children see it as a sign of friendship. I feel for this child. I'd love to send him a package if you were in my neighborhood.

Right but it’s our job to model and educate what the day is about.

amother

Bottlebrush

Thu, Mar 17 2022, 1:51 pm

amother [ Lawngreen ] wrote:

This is so messed up. The mitzvah is to give not get. He did his mitzvah.

He’s a child!!! It’s still hard not seeing your friends or getting anything. Sheesh.

amother

Lawngreen

Thu, Mar 17 2022, 1:54 pm

amother [ Bottlebrush ] wrote:

He’s a child!!! It’s still hard not seeing your friends or getting anything. Sheesh.

Sure it is. But it’s literally misses the point of the day. It’s not Halloween. To me this attitude is what’s wrong with the entire day. It’s not about how much candy we collect. I feel bad for kids who live in a community where the point of the mitzvah has gotten lost

amother

Bottlebrush

Thu, Mar 17 2022, 2:00 pm

amother [ Lawngreen ] wrote:

Wow. Kids are not able to live just for the sake of mitzvah. I’m floored. This is sad not being able to understand how kids work.

amother

Catmint

Thu, Mar 17 2022, 2:00 pm

It’s very difficult for a child to understand thag no matter how much you educate them. Op, I feel bad for your son. Maybe someone will come by later in the day.

amother

Bottlebrush

Thu, Mar 17 2022, 2:04 pm

amother [ Lawngreen ] wrote:

I bet there isn’t a single mitzvah you do just for the sake of the mitzvah. Do you expect thank yous? Are your bar mitzvahs a simple Seuda with just leining? Are your shabbos and Yom Tovs only about the mitzvohs? I bet you enjoy many things that aren’t necessary. I bet you don’t only focus on mitzvohs all day every day.

amother

Stoneblue

Thu, Mar 17 2022, 2:10 pm

Is there someone you can call that you’re friendly with and make up to meet up?

This does not meant that those boys didn’t plan to give him. For many, especially kids, they go out to rebbes in the morning and then give whoever is closest.

What I do in the school I work in is encourage parents to make up with 2 friends in advance…

fmt4

Thu, Mar 17 2022, 2:31 pm

amother [ Lawngreen ] wrote:

It’s not about getting candy. It’s about feeling like your friends cared enough to give you.

amother

Cognac

Thu, Mar 17 2022, 2:39 pm

I always made personal ones for my kids and put in cute little things from Amazing Savings like stickers and coloring books. Then, I baked and added hamantashen and juice boxes and wrapped with plastic and bows. They were always really excited to open the Mommy Mishloach Manot and it didn't matter that most of their friends lived in another community.

bigsis144

Thu, Mar 17 2022, 2:40 pm

I have two kids in the community Jewish schools, and one kid in public school.

Purim is a very stark reminder of what my public school kid is missing out on - he was happy to give mishloach manos to kids he only sees at shul on Shabbos, but most of them didn’t think to make a package for him because he isn’t on their class list, and could easily be overlooked.

When his brother comes home with 2 dozen MM and even his preschool sister gets 6 and and he only gets 1, yeah, it’s hard.

I make sure he gets his pick of treats from the “family” mishloach manos pile, but you can’t dismiss his feelings of loneliness and isolation.

Last edited by bigsis144 on Thu, Mar 17 2022, 3:00 pm; edited 1 time in total

behappy2

Thu, Mar 17 2022, 2:49 pm

Try to reassure him. The day is long. Some kids may even give tomorrow or Sunday.

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