Morahs/Wives of Rebbeim...do you say thank you?

amother

Wed, Mar 23 2022, 8:15 pm

Just wondering...morahs and wives of rebbeim...do you thank the parents for the cash you get on Purim? I wasn't going to give cash this year...things are tough...but after reading all the posts about showing hakoras hatov, rebbeim need the money, and how much people give, I decided to give my sons rebbeim a pretty nice amount. Was wondering if rebbeim usually send out a thank you note or it's standard not to. I'm not judging. I don't regret giving. I don't need the thank you. I'm legit just curious what the standard practice is. I'm new to the scene and I'm just curious how things work. One of my sons English teachers sent home a really nice printed note thanking the parents for stopping by/sending stuff to school and I thought it was so thoughtful of her and showed such nice middos. My son also was impressed reading it and I think its a nice lesson for him to see too.

amother

Vanilla

Wed, Mar 23 2022, 8:19 pm

I always sent home a thank you note to my students’ parents. I also always received one from my kids’ morahs when I sent them a gift or tip. But I do t know if it’s standard.

amother

Quince

Wed, Mar 23 2022, 8:19 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

In my experience, Rebbeim don't. They thank a lot when we give it but don't send thank you notes after.

amother

Moonstone

Wed, Mar 23 2022, 8:24 pm

I usually get a typed up card/note, the same for all students. I try to send personal handwritten ones (but I'm in special ed, don't get that many)

lfab

Wed, Mar 23 2022, 11:18 pm

The money is given to the rebbi, it's not his wife's job to write thank you notes for him. Noone would expect the husband to write a thank you notes for a woman who is a morah. I don't know what is usually done since I don't have any boys but whatever is done is the sole responsibility of the rebbi, not his wife.
As a side point I think the rebbi should absolutely send home a short note. Could be the same, typed up note for every kid but he should send something. Can't exactly teach our kids that they should have hakoras hatov without showing some yourself.

amother

Tan

Wed, Mar 23 2022, 11:31 pm

I always sent home a handwritten note thanking parents for end of year gift and for Ha
Chanuka gifts. However for Purim I just include it in my next newsletter because it’s usually more of a group gift and I also thank them for stopping off at my house, and tell them how nice it was to see them. Spoke to a couple of colleagues about it and many of them say you don’t have to send a thank you for a thank you – which essentially is what the money is.Obviously I don’t agree so I do send home notes and or mention it in the newsletter.

amother

Emerald

Thu, Mar 24 2022, 12:07 am

I'm a teacher and send handwritten thank you notes both Chanuka and Purim. Not the easiest with a class of 30 But it's the least I can do to show my appreciation

dankbar

Thu, Mar 24 2022, 12:14 am

From female teachers for girls did get generic copy printed note.
From rebbeim not, but when I gave larger amount they did thank my husband more personally.

Soul on fire

Thu, Mar 24 2022, 12:14 am

lfab wrote:

I assume she's addressing the wives because this is a women's site and there are no rabbeim here.

amother

Chicory

Thu, Mar 24 2022, 1:07 am

I got a thank you card today from my son’s rebbe. And a thank you text from one morah. I gave checks to a bunch of other rebbeim and Morahs too but haven’t received any acknowledgment yet.

amother

Lavender

Thu, Mar 24 2022, 1:42 am

Didn’t get thank yous for chanuka or Purim. I think it’s in bad taste but also I see their investment in my kids each day and try to focus on that.

It does come to show that it became just an expected thing.

Sesame

Thu, Mar 24 2022, 6:37 am

Just trying to understand why the rebbes wife would do this? Am I missing something?
I’d think that would be uncomfortable and strange “hello mr & mrs Cohen? It’s mrs Schwartz. My husband is rebbe Schwartz teaches your son. You gave him money for Purim so I’d really like to say thank you….”
Very socially off imo.

amother

Lavender

Thu, Mar 24 2022, 2:05 pm

Sesame wrote:

I think she’s just asking the wives because that’s who’s here

amother

Thu, Mar 24 2022, 2:08 pm

Sesame wrote:

If there are rebbeim on this site they can feel free to answer the question themselves. Obviously I don't expect the wife to write the thank you note for him.

amother

Amaryllis

Thu, Mar 24 2022, 2:12 pm

I got an e-mail from one son's rebbe thanking us for the Purim gift, and one teacher included a general thank you in an e-mail to the whole class, but I did not get thank yous from other rabbeim. I think of it as a thank you for a thank you....

My husband is a professional who goes out of his way to help people, and often we get gifts of appreciation from people for him helping them out (usually something like baked goods, candy, or chocolate that the whole family enjoys). Should we be sending them a note to thank them for the thank you gift? I never even thought of it but now I'm wondering....