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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Twins, Triplets, and more
Help! How did you survive?



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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Mar 27 2022, 2:30 am
I have 6 week old twins and very very minimal help. I'm so overwhelmed. I know it's a huge brocha. Just feel like how on earth can I operate on almost no sleep?
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amother
Eggshell


 

Post Sun, Mar 27 2022, 2:39 am
Mazel Tov! it's is overwhelming!!! I lived 1 minute @ a time however did have help. a live in Nurse for 12 weeks (barely enough) and a high school girl came every afternoon, cleaning help etc.
The nurse put them on a Schedule that I kept up afterwards.

the best advice we got was to do whatever it takes to get help. we used up all our savings for this.

Also taking vitamins did help me a lot - I found I was weaker for a longer time after my twins.

Hatzlacha!!!
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amother
DarkPurple


 

Post Sun, Mar 27 2022, 2:42 am
You can't. Stop expecting to operate!

If you are feeding yourself and the babies, and getting yourself to the bathroom as needed, you are doing FANTASTIC!

If you start feeling human before 3 months, that's amazing. But don't expect it.

Stop trying to clean up. Stop trying to make anything more complicated than fish sticks in the oven. Stop trying to "accomplish things." If you are using real dishes, STOP! This is what disposables were created for.

If you have the ability, buy a garbage can and a laundry basket for each room. Have DH empty them each night and do a load of laundry (yes it's fine to wash colored and whites together, use cold water if the thought stresses you out). Don't worry about sorting and putting it away. Clean laundry is good enough.

Your house will probably get dirty and gross. That's totally fine. It won't run away, and you'll be able to clean it up when you start feeling more together. (Yes, I know that it's "just a minute" to wipe down surfaces now, and you'll have to scrub them later. Trust me, you'll have the 15 minutes to scrub soon enough, but that "just a minute" now is asking too much.)

For your sanity, I do strongly recommend getting out of the house each day. Even just a walk around the block. But other than that, eat, sleep and feed your babies.

I had help for 3 days when my twins were born. Then we were thrown straight into it, with my 3 toddlers and 2 babies. Those weeks were a blur, our house was not terribly functional, but we were okay and nobody emerged the worse for wear.

So stop with the expectations. You're doing great already. Prioritize your eating and your sleeping and keeping the babies healthy and things will start to fall into place.

Much nachas!
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amother
NeonOrange


 

Post Sun, Mar 27 2022, 2:42 am
Mazeltov - twins are so special!

I was going to say get more help, but if that's not an option, you just have to see this as survival. Do nothing except look after them and yourself. Nap whenever they do, rest a lot when they don't. When you feel strong, attempt a bit more...hatzlacha x
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rainbow dash




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 27 2022, 2:43 am
Is there an a organisation that can send someone to you? I had from bikor chulim a lady that came every day. I also had help from the government program that sent someone twice a week. Also had a night nurse. And a lady would come in the afternoon to be with the twins so I could be with my older kids. And my cleaning I had 3 times a week. Find out what you have in your area.
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effess




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 08 2022, 1:17 am
You made it through another week!
Mazel tov!!
Here are some things I did for survival and sorry if I’m repeating what others said.
1. Got a twin z pillow which helps for positioning and was able to nurse both babies at once. This was after they both had a comfortable latch. For me Nursing on a love seat was best.
2. I wanted to nurse but my supply could not keep up with two babies plus me not sleeping.
Here’s what I did: after the feeding after 9:00 and before midnight, waited two hours and pumped everything out. Then, for the next feeding they had formula so I didn’t care if they woke up half hour later. This way, my body could rest a bit. My husband or someone volunteering or getting paid can do the next feeding while I sleep. If the next feeding was a while later I nursed because I got a solid three to four hours. If they woke up too soon and my nap was less than three full hours, they were fed my pumped bottle.
3. Do you have other kids? If you do, lower the bar. I did not care about homework, baths were optional besides fir shabbos. Obviously no shabbos guest unless it was someone who I know would be a huge help. My husband made shabbos. Dinner, I don’t know what happened.
4. You must eat nutritious food or you’ll be depleted. Best quick nutritious food: shabbos chicken soup leftovers all week, banana and milk, instant oatmeal. Nuts.
5. If the weather is decent, take them in the stroller to your front or backyard. They sleep longer outside. Make sure yo have a lounge chair do you can rest.
6. Can a friend set up a meal train fir two or three suppers a week? That can be a huge help.
Lower every single one of your expectations, like every single one.
More to be said, but enough for now.
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