Who decides whats OOT and whats in town?

amother

Bone

Sun, Mar 27 2022, 3:18 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

So then is it a yeshivish thing, this idea of in town and out of town? I grew up modern orthodox. Could that be it? I never heard this before now.

I grew up Modern, OOT. I'm in my 40s, and we definitely used "in town" and "out of town". We went away to camp and we definitely knew the difference; for example, some bunks were more in town, 2nd month was more OOT, etc . Without the internet or men with trucks or long skirts in mainstream stores, we were sometimes dressed differently. We were proud to be from OOT and vowed never to move to the tri state area. IME, people who were called in town often took it as a compliment that they were in with whatever was in.

amother

Daylily

Sun, Mar 27 2022, 8:45 pm

amother [ Bone ] wrote:

Yup. I am in my 40s and grew up oot in the Midwest.....most people didn't even have relatives "in town" as the vast majority of us either had survivor grandparents or grandparents who had always lived in that city.....or the other Midwest city the other parent came from

Still, we ALL knew the term in town/out of town....and it meant the styles of Brooklyn and Monsey. Maybe the other boroughs (then Lakewood was a little nothing and certainly oot too!). (Shhhhh we considered the larger oot cities to be rather "in town" and went there to shop and bring back fancy nosh)

whether you were complimented or insulted by the term depended on who said it and/or what you aspired to.

amother

Daylily

Sun, Mar 27 2022, 8:51 pm

amother [ Daylily ] wrote:

I wanted to add, that in town/ oot didn't JUST refer to styles. But also taste, mannerisms, norms, attitude.

amother

Caramel

Mon, Mar 28 2022, 12:24 am

amother [ Royalblue ] wrote:

I think OOT is used to describe anywhere outside the tri state area.

Also love how people think they have a monopoly on the term tri-state area.

Tristate just means a place where 3 states meet. I'm from OOT and lived in a Tristate area. Whenever I watched the news or weather warnings they always reffered to where I lived as the Tristate area.

amother

Lime

Mon, Mar 28 2022, 4:47 am

My father grew up in Monsey (born in the 70s) and in those days that was considered out of town and Lakewood was definitely out of town.
Only Brooklyn and Manhattan were in town.
The attitudes were similar in those days Brooklyn people were considered most trendy and up to date and the other communities were more relaxed and open minded.
Nowadays more Brooklyn people have spread around parts of NY and NJ and the attitudes have come along with it. (Manhattan has apparently been relegated to out of town ironically Confused

)

amother

Eggshell

Mon, Mar 28 2022, 9:21 am

amother [ Lime ] wrote:

)

LOL I probably know your father (back in the day, I knew most people in Monsey. I was born in the 70's and grew up there.)

And yeah, we were OOTy back then. Even today, having grown up in Monsey as it became more and more in-towny, I still view old Monsey people as different in some ways...a little bit more chilled than Brooklyn-born people.

It's not a matter of nicer or not. I grew up with people who were lovely, and people who were...less so. And I've met in-town people who are the nicest, most caring people on earth.

It's just a culture, that's all.

amother

Garnet

Mon, Mar 28 2022, 10:05 am

amother [ Stone ] wrote:

I was raised in Chicago.
OOT meant anywhere where you have to drive more than 30 minutes or fly.
Now I'm in Lakewood and OOT means anything out of Lakewood-Brooklyn-Monsey.
When my children talk to their Chicago cousins, they both talk about OOT and the conversation ends up being quite humorous.

In retrospect, I realized that we did talk about how New Yorkers/Lakewooders call themselves "In-towners" and that's really code for high and mighty and superior.
But truly it was all reverse snobbery and an excuse to talk nasty about "New Yorkers" because "they started being nasty first" or something.

As someone who's lived in both settings, I tell everyone to take a chill.
OOTers aren't necessarily nicer, more accepting, and less trendy
In-towners aren't necessarily nastier or more gashmiusdik.
Pros and cons.
And there are true disadvantages of marrying anyone "OOT" whether it's a Chicago girl marrying a LA boy, a Lakewooder marrying a Miami girl, or any other combination.

You really drank the kool aid.

amother

Pearl

Mon, Mar 28 2022, 10:21 am

I think out is sort of means not city like. It should really be out of city.Just like you can't compare times square to a little hic town or a place with farms. I think its an expression. And it's a bit off. Out of town describes country life and for Jewish people out of town describes smaller communities. Also However I think we all have different definitions. So this is just how I understood it. I grew up in Brooklyn and another of people came to Brooklyn from "out of town" they didn't go to Arizona or Texas. And we had no need to visit any of those small towns. They came to Brooklyn because we were a big city. city. Had another of pizza shops to choose from. And restaurants. And clothing stores. And huge groceries. And many Jewish singers lived in Brooklyn and would even sing about parts of Jewish life in brooklyn or issues that affect people in Brooklyn. Country yossi, rechnitz rejects. I had family in Lakewood and they would say on themselves we are coming in to town. So we called them out of town. However Lakewood now joined the list of "cities" with people and traffic ad you cand find everyy Jewish related convenience for all the money in the world and spiritual too, like tag for phones and hundreds of minyanim that makes it in town. I keep herring from people that Brooklyn in not becoming so "in town"anymore"the community has shrunk. However I still see plenty of new stores open up a location there as well as Lakewood and monsey. So far its still in town. Also note that in town refers to parts of the U.S.A so I think yerushalyim is the in town of isreal and probably so is Bnei Brak but we don't call other countries out of town or in town so its not included. On imamother we have newyork related inquiries and one for Lakewood etc,. So those are to places alot of people here live

amother

Wandflower

Mon, Mar 28 2022, 11:02 am

I can’t believe no one said the joke (or maybe it’s a true story) of the Bais yaakov convention in Baltimore...

On Sunday when everyone was getting ready to leave they announced all out of towners please go to X room and in towners please go to Y room.

All Brooklyn and Baltimore girls were in Y room. Everyone else was in X.

(Lol this must have been the days before Lakewood became in town...)

amother

Mon, Mar 28 2022, 3:12 pm

amother [ Bone ] wrote:

Im the OP. I grew up modern orthodox. I dont know if where I lived was oot or in town. If you are in your 40s, you had internet when you were growing up? Im in my early 40s and only got internet when I was in sem, so age 18. And as for those camp references, I have no idea what you are talking about.

amother

Mon, Mar 28 2022, 3:14 pm

amother [ Daylily ] wrote:

Here it is again. The places that people are saying are in town are only yeshivish or black hat or not modern orthodox. Thats why I think this whole out of town/in town thing, is really just a yeshivish thing.

amother

Mon, Mar 28 2022, 3:16 pm

amother [ Burlywood ] wrote:

It used to mean outside of the big frum areas. But now that places like Chicago are large frum areas it’s kind of meaningless.

But see, this is what I dont get. There are so many places that have always had big large frum communities. And it was not only brooklyn and monsey or lakewood. If you think that NOW places like chicago have large frum areas, you must be young. So many places have always had large frum communities.

Matisse

Mon, Mar 28 2022, 3:27 pm

I think "in town" "out of town" becomes part of the conversation when your kids are in shidduchim. We are way out of town (my own description:)) and I found this to be one of the concerns for the girls in our community but not as much for the boys. When I say concern, I mean that the "in towners" parents of boys were hesitant for their sons to date out of town girls. We have a married son and one about to enter shidduchim after Pesach, so I am getting ready for round 2 Smile

))