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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Our Challenging Children (gifted, ADHD, sensitive, defiant)
Need Support! Any moms with DMDD (Personality Disorder)kids?
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AdinaBB




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 30 2022, 9:04 pm
wow can I relate so much to all these posts! I have an 11 year old daughter that we struggled with for years with similar symptoms to all the above. We had her on anxiety meds and ADD meds until we finally go to mood stabilizers which have FINALLY been helping. Not fool proof but MUCH better. My question back to all of you is, how do you kids do in school?? and WHERE do they go to school? We are struggling so much of where to put my daughter. No-one wants to take her because of her mood disorder. At least not any of the Jewish schools where we live.
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amother
Seashell


 

Post Mon, May 30 2022, 9:43 pm
AdinaBB wrote:
wow can I relate so much to all these posts! I have an 11 year old daughter that we struggled with for years with similar symptoms to all the above. We had her on anxiety meds and ADD meds until we finally go to mood stabilizers which have FINALLY been helping. Not fool proof but MUCH better. My question back to all of you is, how do you kids do in school?? and WHERE do they go to school? We are struggling so much of where to put my daughter. No-one wants to take her because of her mood disorder. At least not any of the Jewish schools where we live.
Hatzlacha!
My child’s issues are mainly at home, not at school, so besides for severe add symptoms, he usually functions okay at school. We did homeschool him one year and it was really good for him academically. He decided he was missing the social aspect though, so we returned him to school the next year.
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amother
Seashell


 

Post Mon, May 30 2022, 9:44 pm
dragoneye126 wrote:
My 6 y.o. dd was recently diagnosed with DMDD. She is also gifted, so 2e. I am overwhelmed with all of the things to do next- parent training, meds, etc. Does anyone know of a support group or resource center for this? I am open to any and all support.
A support group would be awesome!
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amother
Khaki


 

Post Mon, May 30 2022, 10:40 pm
amother [ Impatiens ] wrote:
We just started with a mood stabilizer. Praying hard that it works.
The ADHD meds increase the aggression but without it school is impossible (can't concentrate). We have to somehow find an ADHD medicine that works with the mood stabilizer and doesn't have aggression as a side effect. So frustrating.


What about intunive?
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amother
Impatiens


 

Post Tue, May 31 2022, 2:15 am
amother [ Khaki ] wrote:
What about intunive?

Tried and failed. It made the aggression worse.
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amother
Papayawhip


 

Post Tue, May 31 2022, 2:44 am
My son is 5. My h husband and I are at a loss. He’s been difficult from day 1 but lately he’s becoming impossible. Anything sets him off and he doesnt calm down until he gets his way. I don’t know what diagnosis there is for him but I know something is wrong (knew that from day 1) and I’m lost at where to go from here.
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amother
Plum


 

Post Tue, May 31 2022, 6:37 am
My son had all these symptoms, rages, everything has to go his way, my whole family is affected, between me and my husband one of us always either leaves work early or goes to work late . We are at his beck and call just to keep the house at bay. Minute he walks in we put food in his face and he sits and watches - which is like the one thing that keeps him calm. was diagnosed with this DMDD by the psychiatrist , but through other doctors he was diagnosed with Pans and Lyme . So basically his immune system is fighting these illnesses by sending wrong messages to his brain, causing brain inflammation, making my poor kid suffer . And the rest of my family suffer. We try so hard to find the right help and daven for the right shaliach. Yesterday we went to daven by the Ohel and I told him he can write a note to daven for. He showed it to me. He wrote please Hashem take away my pandas. I don’t like being angry . Please please Hashem send the right doctor to help me. He’s only 8. This is how much he’s suffering. I get to see small glimpses of his old self. It’s draining, it’s hard, it’s sad, psych meds help somewhat . Anxiety meds helped anxiety and trying to treat the root cause as well. I don’t have answers just that I understand what you’re going through. Other people couldn’t imagine what our day is like . But Hashem gives us tests we can pass, we just need a load of siyata dshmaya and teffila (which I often just talk to Hashem ) bec with a family and a child like this bh it’s so busy
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dragoneye126




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, May 31 2022, 9:20 am
Any recommendations for psychiatrists who are familiar with this disorder in the NY/NJ area?
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mha3484




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, May 31 2022, 12:05 pm
AdinaBB wrote:
wow can I relate so much to all these posts! I have an 11 year old daughter that we struggled with for years with similar symptoms to all the above. We had her on anxiety meds and ADD meds until we finally go to mood stabilizers which have FINALLY been helping. Not fool proof but MUCH better. My question back to all of you is, how do you kids do in school?? and WHERE do they go to school? We are struggling so much of where to put my daughter. No-one wants to take her because of her mood disorder. At least not any of the Jewish schools where we live.


I just wanted to empathize. I have a boy that has struggled socially and emotionally and I felt the yeshiva he is in is much more tolerant of him and tries so hard to help him. My friends with girls with similar issues have nothing. I feel like girls schools expect a lot more obedience and tolerate less. Its very very hard. This needs to be the next frontier of Jewish education. My city has a program for boys who have these issues but not girls.
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amother
Plum


 

Post Tue, May 31 2022, 3:13 pm
She’s expensive and out of pocket Dr Helena rothbort but she’s excellent:
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amother
Babypink


 

Post Wed, Jun 21 2023, 4:31 am
Revoltionize DMDD >https://www.rdmdd.org/blog

*Advocating for a Brain-Based Treatment for Disruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder

I am dealing with a child that has been recently diagnosed with DMDD at age 10. And another child, age 14, that fits the same bill but hasn't gone for evaluation yet...so I am googling and gathering info/support
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TwinsMommy




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 02 2023, 2:48 am
AdinaBB wrote:
wow can I relate so much to all these posts! I have an 11 year old daughter that we struggled with for years with similar symptoms to all the above. We had her on anxiety meds and ADD meds until we finally go to mood stabilizers which have FINALLY been helping. Not fool proof but MUCH better. My question back to all of you is, how do you kids do in school?? and WHERE do they go to school? We are struggling so much of where to put my daughter. No-one wants to take her because of her mood disorder. At least not any of the Jewish schools where we live.


My 16 year old twins both have autism and adhd, and one twin has ODD and one twin has DMDD. Both are 2E.

Girl twin with ODD does great in public school. There's just enough autism and adhd support and she's matured a ton over the years enough that her ODD is truly only a problem at home these days. School--- she's lazy and doesn't put in full effort, but no enormous emotional outbursts at school these days. It's taken YEARS to get to this point.

Boy twin with DMDD got kicked out of public school in 4th grade. His aggression is far too physical and far too severe. I had him in a behavior school for 4th through 10th grade and now that he's going into 11th I'll be homeschooling him for the next two years because the behavior school is GREAT for kids with intellectual disabilities. He has NO intellectual disability. They proved over and over they weren't willing to work at his academic level. Home life is NOT great at all even on a TON of meds--- the police are telling us we're putting "bandaids" on a large problem. I ONLY call them when I think we'll need the hospital. Thanks for the support, guys. His psychiatrist predicts he'll end up in a group home. I'm doing my VERY best to keep him at home and prepare him for online college. In person college is likely a no go.

If anyone finds a free online high school for kids like this, I want to know about it! PLEASE!
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amother
Ruby


 

Post Sun, Jul 02 2023, 5:14 am
amother Candycane wrote:
DS (age 10) diagnosed with ASD, ADHD, and DMDD (or possibly juvenile bipolar - I'd much prefer to think it's DMDD!) Weve gone thru some pretty crazy times!! No, this is NOT comparable to your standard hyper/ kvetchy / wild kid. The unpredictability literally shot my nerves. So what to do? Meds meds meds. No chart, book, or parenting technique took root til the meds laid a foundation.


As an adult who had childhood adhd whose parents were not enthusiastic about the diagnosis or medication.... your child is lucky to have you for a mother. Not judging parents who want to try other things first and I know this doesn't work for every child (halevai it was the solution for everyone). But if a child is struggling for years and you refuse to even try medication, you can really be unintentionally harming your child in a terrible way. Some of us don't function the way others do, and years and years of failing and getting reprimanded for things that are out of our control can damage our self esteem that harms us even after we finally get medicated as an adult. For the kids who do need medication, it's like depriving your child of insulin treatment because you want to go all natural. I think it comes from a parent's internalized stigma about the child's disorder and medication. Again, I'm not judging but I'm begging parents who haven't tried to please at least try. You're not a bad parent because of your child's behavior and they're not a bad child. You're both suffering so much. Please try medication if you haven't and you're both really suffering. Some medications aren't even lifelong but even if everyone decides they're better off with it long term, so what? If this helps them succeed (and your family stop suffering) this is what it's there for. Hashem created the cure before the disease.
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amother
Purple


 

Post Sun, Jul 02 2023, 7:34 am
amother Ruby wrote:
As an adult who had childhood adhd whose parents were not enthusiastic about the diagnosis or medication.... your child is lucky to have you for a mother. Not judging parents who want to try other things first and I know this doesn't work for every child (halevai it was the solution for everyone). But if a child is struggling for years and you refuse to even try medication, you can really be unintentionally harming your child in a terrible way. Some of us don't function the way others do, and years and years of failing and getting reprimanded for things that are out of our control can damage our self esteem that harms us even after we finally get medicated as an adult. For the kids who do need medication, it's like depriving your child of insulin treatment because you want to go all natural. I think it comes from a parent's internalized stigma about the child's disorder and medication. Again, I'm not judging but I'm begging parents who haven't tried to please at least try. You're not a bad parent because of your child's behavior and they're not a bad child. You're both suffering so much. Please try medication if you haven't and you're both really suffering. Some medications aren't even lifelong but even if everyone decides they're better off with it long term, so what? If this helps them succeed (and your family stop suffering) this is what it's there for. Hashem created the cure before the disease.

THIS!! Couldn’t agree more! This was also me growing up. I’m seeing the signs with my son and am doing the right thing for him. Of course there are relatives who disapprove. And of course those said relatives are people who waited way too long with medicating their ADHD kids. Ultimately we don’t base our parenting decisions off of others approval. Let ‘em judge all they want while we do what is right and what is best for our kids! Their med refusal is like depriving a kid of glasses when they need glasses and forcing them to get by without them.
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amother
DarkOrange


 

Post Sun, Jul 02 2023, 11:07 am
This is very challenging . There is an epidemic of brain inflammation, autoimmune encephalitis, pandas/pans .. whatever you want to call it . Some kids are helped with changing their diet ( no gluten, dairy, dyes, msg). It is not their fault. There are functional medicine doctors who specialize in pandas.
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