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What's considered the most important expense?
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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Apr 04 2022, 12:55 pm
We're landlords and recently one of our tenants got married. He explained that he's struggling because of the wedding expenses, which is okay. Anyway he owes us four thousand dollars in rent and currently he's not answering our calls because he traveled on his honeymoon. I get that weddings are expensive but I don't understand why he doesn't seem to try and save anything. He also traveled to New York before the wedding because he's hasidic. Before the wedding he even asked my husband for a thousand dollar loan so he could afford the ring, because the jeweler wouldn't give it to him otherwise. As things are, we've been paying for his electric and water too. I thought that rent is something one would pay first. Is that normal or are we being taken advantage of?
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hodeez




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Apr 04 2022, 12:56 pm
Very much being taken advantage of
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Rubies




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Apr 04 2022, 12:57 pm
He's hasidic so he traveled to NY?
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amother
Leaf


 

Post Mon, Apr 04 2022, 12:58 pm
It sounds like he became very friendly, vs a landlord/ tenant relationship.
When I read your title, my first response was "rent". Then I remembered I didn't pay two months during Covid due to the building management running a program, and I still haven't paid it. I hope to move soon and tell them to use my deposit for it, but if we don't move I have cash set aside for it.
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NotInNJMommy




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Apr 04 2022, 12:58 pm
Generally, the only things that should be above housing are food and keeping the lights/heat on (for those who pay them as separate bills). I am only not including clothing because I'd assume it's extremely uncommon in this day and age for someone to have ZERO clothing.
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Amarante




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Apr 04 2022, 1:00 pm
You are being taken of advantage in a big way.

Rent is not an "optional" discretionary expense.

A honeymoon is a luxury discretionary expense.

An expensive ring for which one has to ask to borrow from one's landlord is a luxury expense.

No one is *owed* an expensive wedding at the expense of people to whom you owe money for necessities.

That he is not answering your phone calls is not a good sign.

I would make plans to start eviction because depending on your jurisdiction it is hard to get rid of a deadbeat tenant.

Of course if you have lots of money and want to support an irresponsible tenant, that is your prerogative. 🤷🏼‍♀️
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amother
Snowdrop


 

Post Mon, Apr 04 2022, 1:00 pm
Something doesn't add up. For one, hassidic people don't really tend to go on honeymoons. Maybe he's trying to pull a fast one, lol.
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amother
Mocha


 

Post Mon, Apr 04 2022, 1:01 pm
Rubies wrote:
He's hasidic so he traveled to NY?

Could be a Lubavitcher traveling to visit the Ohel

Or other chassid going to his Rebbe for a bracha
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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Apr 04 2022, 1:03 pm
amother [ Mocha ] wrote:
Could be a Lubavitcher traveling to visit the Ohel


Yes that's exactly what it is. He's lubavitch but sort of modern
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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Apr 04 2022, 1:06 pm
amother [ Snowdrop ] wrote:
Something doesn't add up. For one, hassidic people don't really tend to go on honeymoons. Maybe he's trying to pull a fast one, lol.


You think he's pretending to travel? I'll go by the house later and check. He's been with us for a year and this is the first time we've had issues.
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watergirl




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Apr 04 2022, 1:07 pm
amother [ Snowdrop ] wrote:
Something doesn't add up. For one, hassidic people don't really tend to go on honeymoons. Maybe he's trying to pull a fast one, lol.

A lot does not add up.
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watergirl




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Apr 04 2022, 1:09 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
You think he's pretending to travel? I'll go by the house later and check. He's been with us for a year and this is the first time we've had issues.

If he owes you $4,000 in rent, either his rent by you is 4k/month, or you have been having issues with him for at least three months. Three months out of a year is a bad record.
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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Apr 04 2022, 1:10 pm
watergirl wrote:
A lot does not add up.


Like what? Believe me, I wish we weren't in this situation.
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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Apr 04 2022, 1:11 pm
watergirl wrote:
If he owes you $4,000 in rent, either his rent by you is 4k/month, or you have been having issues with him for at least three months. Three months out of a year is a bad record.


It's 4k because the new month just started. He owes for the month that just passed and this month.
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watergirl




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Apr 04 2022, 1:14 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
It's 4k because the new month just started. He owes for the month that just passed and this month.

So this newlywed has an apartment that costs $2,000/month (that’s $1000 more than my mortgage), which is more than they can likely afford, owes you another thousand for the ring, and is no longer answering the phone? It’s time to send him a certified letter return receipt. Please do this guy a favor and let him out of the lease.
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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Apr 04 2022, 1:21 pm
watergirl wrote:
So this newlywed has an apartment that costs $2,000/month (that’s $1000 more than my mortgage), which is more than they can likely afford, owes you another thousand for the ring, and is no longer answering the phone? It’s time to send him a certified letter return receipt. Please do this guy a favor and let him out of the lease.

Sorry, I need to clarify we didn't give him the money for the ring, he just asked for it. It's sad that we need to do this so soon after his wedding, but he really doesn't leave us much choice.
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Amarante




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Apr 04 2022, 1:23 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Sorry, I need to clarify we didn't give him the money for the ring, he just asked for it. It's sad that we need to do this so soon after his wedding, but he really doesn't leave us much choice.


I understand that the ring is a red herring as you didn't give the money.

However the fact that he asked for a loan to purchase an expensive ring from his LANDLORD? It indicates he is irresponsible and desperate - who would ask a landlord - especially one to whom one owes rent - for a loan to purchase an expensive ring?

If he asked you for a loan I am willing to wager that he has borrowed money from other people since asking a landlord is a completely bizarre action.
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amother
Sunflower


 

Post Mon, Apr 04 2022, 1:30 pm
You should ask a Rav before starting eviction proceedings.

Leave a message saying that you need the rent and if it’s not paid in some part before a deadline you set, you’re going to take further action. He will hear the message.
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amother
Oak


 

Post Mon, Apr 04 2022, 1:33 pm
Did he pay for his own wedding? I know someone who recently got married and did. If he’s on his own and marrying himself off, it’s possible money is tight for him. I don’t know you or him or either one of your situations. Just that it’s possible money is tight for him right now. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t have to pay you but if you’re ok with waiting til he’s back on his feet, you’re ok with it.
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amother
Whitewash


 

Post Mon, Apr 04 2022, 1:38 pm
amother [ Oak ] wrote:
Did he pay for his own wedding? I know someone who recently got married and did. If he’s on his own and marrying himself off, it’s possible money is tight for him. I don’t know you or him or either one of your situations. Just that it’s possible money is tight for him right now. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t have to pay you but if you’re ok with waiting til he’s back on his feet, you’re ok with it.


OPs question is if it makes sense to say money's tight if he's on a honeymoon.
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