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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Toddlers
Can a 3.5 year old have anxiety?



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amother
OP


 

Post Fri, Apr 15 2022, 11:13 am
My son seems to have anxiety. He takes things very hard. Thing bother him strongly. He freaks out a lot. He needs answers again and again. My house is very calm always so I don’t think is environmental. If this normal will he grow out of it. How do I deal with it?

Example- a neighbors kid was sick and couldn’t play with him until the antibiotics kicked in. He repeatedly asked me again and again why he’s not feeling well. Kept asking even after answered.

We once lost my baby’s diaper cloth while running errands. He was inconsolable about it even after I told him we have more at home.

If we’re driving and a car beeps he’ll ask again and again why is the car beeping.

If a lawnmower is on outside he’ll keep asking what’s that noise? Why does he have a lawnmower…
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amother
Lightpink


 

Post Fri, Apr 15 2022, 1:13 pm
Oh wow, my 3 yo is the exact same way. Also, if summertime hurts her once, she does not get over it and won't go near that child again.
Sorry, wish I knew the answer! We're having her evaluated
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mha3484




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Apr 15 2022, 1:18 pm
I have a 7.5 year old who has been super high strung as long as I can remember. I think little kids can definitely experience anxiety.
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amother
DarkGray


 

Post Fri, Apr 15 2022, 1:36 pm
One word answer: absolutely!
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amother
OP


 

Post Fri, Apr 15 2022, 1:39 pm
So what am I supposed to do? He’ll ask me the same thing a million times until I snap. He’s scared of stuff, gets bothered by everything…

I’m at my wits end. It must be so stressful to be anxious all the time. How can I help him?
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mommy3b2c




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Apr 15 2022, 1:43 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
So what am I supposed to do? He’ll ask me the same thing a million times until I snap. He’s scared of stuff, gets bothered by everything…

I’m at my wits end. It must be so stressful to be anxious all the time. How can I help him?


It is. Trust me. Help him now, you don’t want him growing up like me. He probably has sensory issues as well.
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amother
Navy


 

Post Fri, Apr 15 2022, 2:22 pm
Not environmental. There are children like that. It doesn't mean something is wrong with him, but it does mean you should look into how to properly guide him so that the level of anxiety and obsession goes down not up. Definitely don't get frustrated. That only adds to his anxiety.
It's a good idea to help him visualize the end and to tell him it's OK not to ask anymore because he did already... for example if he keeps asking about the sick neighbor you can:
Bend down to eye level. Smile. Repeat what he asked. "Moshe sweety, you want to know when you can play with Chaim, right? His mommy said first it needs to be night, then it needs to be day, then it needs to be night, and then you could play"! Draw a quick picture visualizing this if you can, let him keep it too... and then gently ask him "sweety, when can you play with Chaim?" And make him tell you. Tell him you know he knows the answer so he doesn't need to ask again...If he doesn't ask again a minute later say positively "wow you're not even asking me again because you remember, cool, good for you"! And if asks again say "it's ok to need to ask me again. Maybe next time you wont..."
With my students this method works. But all children have different variables so there can be some trial and error...Hatzlocha ! Only Nachas!
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amother
OP


 

Post Fri, Apr 15 2022, 2:38 pm
amother [ Navy ] wrote:
Not environmental. There are children like that. It doesn't mean something is wrong with him, but it does mean you should look into how to properly guide him so that the level of anxiety and obsession goes down not up. Definitely don't get frustrated. That only adds to his anxiety.
It's a good idea to help him visualize the end and to tell him it's OK not to ask anymore because he did already... for example if he keeps asking about the sick neighbor you can:
Bend down to eye level. Smile. Repeat what he asked. "Moshe sweety, you want to know when you can play with Chaim, right? His mommy said first it needs to be night, then it needs to be day, then it needs to be night, and then you could play"! Draw a quick picture visualizing this if you can, let him keep it too... and then gently ask him "sweety, when can you play with Chaim?" And make him tell you. Tell him you know he knows the answer so he doesn't need to ask again...If he doesn't ask again a minute later say positively "wow you're not even asking me again because you remember, cool, good for you"! And if asks again say "it's ok to need to ask me again. Maybe next time you wont..."
With my students this method works. But all children have different variables so there can be some trial and error...Hatzlocha ! Only Nachas!


Wow, thanks so much for your response. I’m definitely going to try that.
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HeartyAppetite




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Apr 15 2022, 5:33 pm
I have this with my son. He was very anxious, and needed to be reassured a million times.
I remained his calm, I tried not to get nervous. When he asked again and again I told him to repeat to me what I said. But not in a shaming way.
He is turning 6 now, bh he seems to have gotten better.
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amother
Opal


 

Post Fri, Apr 15 2022, 6:37 pm
Empathy goes along way, discuss why it bothers to possibly alter the scenario. Praise for when they tolerate or try something challenging. My daughter started showing anxiety at 3.
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amother
Canary


 

Post Sun, Apr 17 2022, 3:35 am
I was diagnosed with anxiety at 5, I started seeing a "talking doctor" (a therapist) until I was 7 to learn management tools. I was never medicated.

It's definitely possible, I would recommend reading up on it!
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amother
Darkblue


 

Post Sun, Apr 17 2022, 5:04 pm
HeartyAppetite wrote:
I have this with my son. He was very anxious, and needed to be reassured a million times.
I remained his calm, I tried not to get nervous. When he asked again and again I told him to repeat to me what I said. But not in a shaming way.
He is turning 6 now, bh he seems to have gotten better.


I was going to say this. I also find repeating his question to him seems to make him feel heard. Then I ask him if he remembers what the answer was and to say it. But it's not easy. I don't always feel calm enough to deal with the constant questioning and the reassurance they need.
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amother
Sienna


 

Post Sun, Apr 17 2022, 8:35 pm
According to my ot almost all anxiety at that age is sensory based and not real anxiety YET. Left untreated will develop into real anxiety. Take him to a really good ot who understands sensory processing and reflexes very well and see what she has to say.
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amother
Amber


 

Post Mon, Apr 18 2022, 12:47 am
Yes to Navy!
My 2.5 dd is anxious (diagnosed by me, but I talked it over with professionals).

Find out if play therapy is appropriate at this age, but either way, empathizing with your kid's overwhelmed feelings while explaining (on their level) why it's just fear, not anything real, is what will ultimately give your kid the tools to function.
Take it seriously but don't freak out.
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amother
Goldenrod


 

Post Mon, Apr 18 2022, 8:32 pm
OP my child presented very similarly at that age. It was anxiety and ocd caused by pandas. Learning how to parent an anxious child made a big difference to our interactions, but treating pandas and brain inflammation helped us actually lower the anxiety levels significantly.
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amother
Nemesia


 

Post Mon, Apr 18 2022, 10:36 pm
Im going to somewhat disagree with the premise that sensory causes anxiety at this age. We worked with a top ot and play therapist who both agreed that the underlying cause was the anxiety and the sensory was a manifestation of that.

My child received every therapy that you can name BUT The best work was the parenting work- having the social worker work with us on the tips and tricks of raising this child and creating a safe home for this specific child
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amother
Chocolate


 

Post Mon, Apr 18 2022, 10:48 pm
OP, first get a medical workup. If everything is clear, look for an a good pediatric OT/reflex integration specialist to help balance his sensory needs.
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