When child is sick who stays home.

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ruby slippers

Mon, Apr 18 2022, 11:00 am

DH runs a BH busy medical practice, but sometimes staff( mostly women) call out because of childcare issues. DH can't understand why the spouse can't take off. I told him unfortunately it falls on the woman. He says the spouse should take turns.

I am curious... Who takes off if both you and DH are both working when a child is sick.

shabbatiscoming

Mon, Apr 18 2022, 11:02 am

When we were both working we always took turns.
Same with my parents.
If both spouses work, it should not fall on only the wife.

mha3484

Mon, Apr 18 2022, 11:02 am

DH works for himself from home so its on him but my kids when sick usually sleep a lot they are not wild so he can get his work done.

octopus

Mon, Apr 18 2022, 11:06 am

If their husbands are the main breadwinner then the wives are going to be the ones taking off. If they have basically equal paying jobs they take turns. Financially that is what makes the most sense.

allthingsblue

Mon, Apr 18 2022, 11:11 am

octopus wrote:

If their husbands are the main breadwinner then the wives are going to be the ones taking off. If they have basically equal paying jobs they take turns. Financially that is what makes the most sense.

This

ruby slippers

Mon, Apr 18 2022, 11:22 am

octopus wrote:

If their husbands are the main breadwinner then the wives are going to be the ones taking off. If they have basically equal paying jobs they take turns. Financially that is what makes the most sense.

That's what I tried to explain to DH and for whatever reason he just doesn't get it. He just sees that people he needs working keep taking off for childcare issues and ones responsibility at work.

allthingsblue

Mon, Apr 18 2022, 11:23 am

eema1 wrote:

That's what I tried to explain to DH and for whatever reason he just doesn't get it. He just sees that people he needs working keep taking off for childcare issues and ones responsibility at work.

He can try to hire an older woman with grown kids.

rmbg

Mon, Apr 18 2022, 11:23 am

Op, Does your husband take off when your kids are sick?

imaima

Mon, Apr 18 2022, 11:24 am

eema1 wrote:

That's what I tried to explain to DH and for whatever reason he just doesn't get it. He just sees that people he needs working keep taking off for childcare issues and ones responsibility at work.

I am with your dh, we both take off from work. Depends on the situation .

Notsobusy

Mon, Apr 18 2022, 11:24 am

eema1 wrote:

That's what I tried to explain to DH and for whatever reason he just doesn't get it. He just sees that people he needs working keep taking off for childcare issues and ones responsibility at work.

What happens when your kids get sick?

It's possible that they do take turns, but he doesn't know about the days when the spouse took off, he only hears about it when his employees need to take off.

qwerty4

Mon, Apr 18 2022, 11:28 am

eema1 wrote:

That's what I tried to explain to DH and for whatever reason he just doesn't get it. He just sees that people he needs working keep taking off for childcare issues and ones responsibility at work.

Does he pay his female workers the same as the men? Are they in the same positions? Do they have the same hours or more family-friendly part time hours?

theotherone1

Mon, Apr 18 2022, 11:52 am

me. all the time.

Ema of 5

Mon, Apr 18 2022, 12:11 pm

shabbatiscoming wrote:

When we were both working we always took turns.
Same with my parents.
If both spouses work, it should not fall on only the wife.

I think it depends on their jobs. Even when I was working, my schedule was more flexible than my husbands. And I was closer to home than my husband. It didn’t make sense for my husband to take off. There is no right or wrong, or what should or shouldn’t be. It should be whatever makes the most sense and works best for each couple.
Edit: also, who taking off will cause a bigger financial loss

Last edited by Ema of 5 on Mon, Apr 18 2022, 2:35 pm; edited 1 time in total

emzod42

Mon, Apr 18 2022, 12:32 pm

DH works from home so if the kid is just sleeping and doesn't need much attention then he works and watches. For younger children we take turns.

Aylat

Mon, Apr 18 2022, 1:50 pm

octopus wrote:

If their husbands are the main breadwinner then the wives are going to be the ones taking off. If they have basically equal paying jobs they take turns. Financially that is what makes the most sense.

DH earns way more than me and we take turns taking off. We use sick days. We both have responsibilities to our employers, and we juggle who takes off when based on our commitments each day.

teachkids

Mon, Apr 18 2022, 1:53 pm

Rarely is a kid home sick for only 1 day, so we generally switch off so we each only have to take 1 day at a time. If a bug is working it’s way through my house, I may be out every other day since my husband can’t take multiple days in a row either.

notshanarishona

Tue, Apr 19 2022, 2:35 am

Typically I take off first but second day onwards we take turns . It also depends on the year and which of us has more sick days available, etc

The Happy Wife

Tue, Apr 19 2022, 8:53 am

eema1 wrote:

That's what I tried to explain to DH and for whatever reason he just doesn't get it. He just sees that people he needs working keep taking off for childcare issues and ones responsibility at work.

I'm sorry, but it's not his business why their husband is not taking care of the sick kids. If his employees are given sick days, let them use the time without question. And if the staff are not given any sick time, why not?

In my experience, workplaces get the best work from employees when they are treated with respect and allowed and encouraged to have personal lives. The means using sick time and PTO without guilt. If your employee has a sick child, show concern for the sick child, not annoyance that the parent is taking off. When you're working in a supportive environment, other employees are usually more likely to step up and help out when another employee is dealing with a situation like this.

This employee is a human being, and a working mother. I'm sure she's doing the best she can to manage childcare. It's not easy.

singleagain

Tue, Apr 19 2022, 9:18 am

OP. Does your dh take off when your kids are sick? Or is he only asking about his employees dh's?

banana123

Tue, Apr 19 2022, 10:09 am

singleagain wrote:

OP. Does your dh take off when your kids are sick? Or is he only asking about his employees dh's?

Even if he doesn't, I think the question is legitimate.

Her DH runs a medical practice, something which is super essential and can't really afford to constantly be short-handed. There are workplaces where time is more fluid and hours can be made up later (a different day, night, weekend) and there are workplaces where each person being there during regular hours is critical. Likewise there are positions which are easier to fill or do without, and there are positions which are really crucial and someone taking off without warning is a big issue.

The logical thing for OP's DH would be to have a few part-time employees instead of less full-time employees, and then if someone needs off the onus is on that person to switch shifts with a coworker. If her DH doesn't already do this, that would mean cutting the hours of all existing employees and hiring another one or two so as to allow rotations.

Given that we know OP's DH's occupation but not hers, so long as hers is less essential and she is lower down in the hierarchy and therefore more easily replaceable, I would assume that she always takes sick days for kids and he never does. And I would assume that if she were the one with a medical practice and he had the more relaxed job at a place that can more easily do without him, that he would take all sick days and never her.

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