If your seder goes past 3:00am...

amother

Thu, Apr 21 2022, 3:25 pm

My neighbor and others near me like to brag about how their sedarim were sooooo beautiful and went until 3:30am. Where we live, chatzos was 1:03am. Are they telling me it took them 2.5 hours to bentch, drink two more cossos, sing Hallel, and nirtza? Even if they sang every single word out loud and sang every song in the hagaddah (which is not nitrza, which ends after Chasal Siddur Pesach)... which my husband does (sings every word of Hallel slowely and with kavanah, benches out loud nicely, and sings most of the songs after), from eating the afikoman until getting up from the seder is about an hour, hour and a half TOPS.

What is everyone doing from chatzos until 3:30am seder nights?

amother

Thu, Apr 21 2022, 3:28 pm

Rubies wrote:

Are your neighbors 5 years old?

Not everyone eats afikomen before chatzos.

Seriously? No. Oh, you mean because they brag? People love to do this. It's odd.

The halacha is to finish the afikoman by chatzos. I have literally never heard of anyone not doing that. It's the halacha.

dena613

Thu, Apr 21 2022, 3:34 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I know many chassidim are not makpid

Rubies

Thu, Apr 21 2022, 3:36 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Have you truly never heard of not eating afikomen at chatzos?
Many only do so the first night.

amother

Mayflower

Thu, Apr 21 2022, 3:36 pm

dena613 wrote:

I know many chassidim are not makpid

I think chassidish are makpid only the 1st night.
Chatzos was 1, it takes us a good 2 hours to finish the seder after afikomen.

amother

Maple

Thu, Apr 21 2022, 3:38 pm

Singing lots and lots of perakim with lots of people around the table takes time. People also like to relax after tzafon. Also pouring everyone’s cups takes time.

amother

Thu, Apr 21 2022, 3:39 pm

Rubies wrote:

Have you truly never heard of not eating afikomen at chatzos?
Many only do so the first night.

Correct. I have literally, truly never heard of people eating the afikoman after chatzos. It’s like the korban pesach which had to be consumed before that time. It’s the literal halacha. I was always taught and so is my husband I’m literally everybody else I know that I have discussed this with that one should shorten the discussion during magid to ensure that one is able to consume the afikoman b’zman.

Have you ever heard of anyone not lighting shabbos candles on time?

dena613

Thu, Apr 21 2022, 3:43 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

You're litvish!!! So am I.
Btw, in certain chassidish enclaves out of the USA there are chassidim who light for shabbos at rabbeinu tam zman Surprised

devorah1231

Thu, Apr 21 2022, 3:43 pm

My husband said he was told that Rav Chaim said maggid should take a half hour and after afikoman you should go back and darshan. The people who were still doing it by zman krias shema obviously did this.

amother

Hyacinth

Thu, Apr 21 2022, 3:46 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Actually, it’s a good thing to do, but eating afikomen by chatzos is not me’akev. Even by my super duper yekke father

Rubies

Thu, Apr 21 2022, 3:51 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

It's not the same like lighting shabbos candles, though not educated enough to explain the difference.

Just serving a huge family shulchan orach takes forever - and so some will rush serving for the men and then have a relaxed meal for women.. even after - all the 'zugging' post afikomen can take forever with singing and Torah thoughts.

relaxation

Thu, Apr 21 2022, 4:08 pm

I had the same question, as by us everyone is already super tired wanting to go to bed already (sometimes by hallel aready especially the second night). Unless people napped well erev yom tov (which is not always easy to do as there is always "one more thing" that needs to be done) I don't know how people are not tired at the end and are able to go way past...

But if people are happy and could do it , Kol Hakavod to them !

amother

Ultramarine

Thu, Apr 21 2022, 4:23 pm

We’re not makpid to eat afikoman by chatzos. Some of the men will do two afikomans to cover that opinion and will wait til after chatzos to continue eating

tweety1

Thu, Apr 21 2022, 4:31 pm

I literally don't remember ever eating the afikomen before/at chatzos. Op, you're saying halacha? Halacha? והגדת לבינך is also halacha? Which one is more halacha? It takes time. Kids ask, dh answers, dh explains, it all takes time. If one has a large family it takes time to give the כזיתים and eat it too. My 2 year old had a late long nap second day. She followed along, dh explained it to her in her language, it was the cutest thing to see how she process it. We finished 2:30. She stayed up till the end. I would anytime do it again this way.

doodlesmom

Thu, Apr 21 2022, 4:31 pm

Some hold first kzayis before Chatzos.

We do make it the first night, but not the second.
In general I find that if it finishes very late it’s because of a certain laziness or tiredness that kicks in after afikomen, and it takes time till the table gets cleared away, all hagadas and bechers brought back to the table, and everyone gets ready to continue again.
Especially if kids are being put to sleep then etc.

amother

Babypink

Thu, Apr 21 2022, 4:53 pm

Op you’re really comparing afikomen at chatzos to chilul shabbos?
Wow, way to go for your judgement. You need to educate about what “halacha “ is in different circles.

amother

Pink

Thu, Apr 21 2022, 5:03 pm

When I grew up, our sedarim often went till 3am. We almost never ate afikomen by chatzos. Maagid took us a very long time. Each kid had their divrei Torah that they brought home from school that they wanted to say.

Cannot compare this to chillul shabbos at all.

Yeshivish lite here.

amother

Burgundy

Thu, Apr 21 2022, 5:23 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I’m sorry but you sound very uneducated. There are many different Shitas and opinions and not all sects of Judaism are makpid.

There is also the famous tnai of the Avnei Nazer:

The Avnei Nezer learns that you should eat a kzayis before chatzos, and make a tnai that you are only being yotzei according to the shita that you have to eat before chatzos. Then, after chatzos you can eat the rest of your meal, because it is not the zman, and have your second afikoman to be yotzei according the shitta.

Please don’t speak for all Yidden. Thanks