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amother




OP
 

Post Sun, Apr 24 2022, 9:18 am
ETA just want to announce that this thread is old but I like to update it from time to time when I get to a new thing to declutter...

I recently came to a conclusion (I don't know if it's right or not but this is what I feel) that part of the reason I don't have a clear mind is because I tend to keep too many things and have a hard time throwing things out that I don't use because I may need to use it someday. I came to decision that I want to become free and detach myself from these distractions and want to throw out some stuff. I don't know what to start with and what rational system/thought to use to decide when I go through my stuff whether to keep it and it's needed or throw out.

Anyone had this feeling/experience before ? How do you decide what to keep and what to throw out ?
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amother




OP
 

Post Sun, Apr 24 2022, 9:25 am
To give an example I would say let's say these pair of sandals I bought (over a year ago) for around 10 dollars. I got it from the 99c store (so I can't really return it) and it gives my foot pain. So I stop wearing it. In my mind though I think that one day my foot could adjust to it or I can sell it (which is not realistic) or whatever but it is a waste to just throw out 10 dollars when it wasn't really used, On the other hand I know that I just have to get over with it and throw it out. But this is just one item. I have many others as well where I can always fool myself that I need it,and on the other hand there may be items that I actually shouldn't throw out. What system can I use to decide what to keep and what to not?
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amother




Poinsettia
 

Post Sun, Apr 24 2022, 10:06 am
Don't think of it as getting rid of stuff - think of it as buying yourself a bigger house.

When you need something again, it will already be out of style or otherwise not useful, even if you are able to find it.
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amother




OP
 

Post Sun, Apr 24 2022, 10:10 am
amother [ Poinsettia ] wrote:
Don't think of it as getting rid of stuff - think of it as buying yourself a bigger house.

When you need something again, it will already be out of style or otherwise not useful, even if you are able to find it.
Thanks ! But how do I decide what stuff to keep and what to throw out ? Do I decide by it's worth or how long the item has or has not been used or some other criteria ?
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amother




Poinsettia
 

Post Sun, Apr 24 2022, 10:11 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Thanks ! But how do I decide what stuff to keep and what to throw out ? Do I decide by it's worth or how long the item has or has not been used or some other criteria ?


Off the cuff - if you haven't used it in a year and/or it costs less than $20 to replace, let it go.
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amother




Poinsettia
 

Post Sun, Apr 24 2022, 10:11 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Thanks ! But how do I decide what stuff to keep and what to throw out ? Do I decide by it's worth or how long the item has or has not been used or some other criteria ?


Deleted double post
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amother




OP
 

Post Sun, Apr 24 2022, 10:39 am
Thanks
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amother




Coffee
 

Post Sun, Apr 24 2022, 10:48 am
amother [ Poinsettia ] wrote:
Off the cuff - if you haven't used it in a year and/or it costs less than $20 to replace, let it go.


This. I also struggle to throw things out. My thought process is if I haven’t used it in the past year then I probably don’t really need it, so I throw it out.
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wifeandmore




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Apr 24 2022, 10:49 am
amother [ Poinsettia ] wrote:
Don't think of it as getting rid of stuff - think of it as buying yourself a bigger house. .


Love this mindset!!!!! Thank you!!!!
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wifeandmore




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Apr 24 2022, 10:50 am
I usually put things in a "maybe" box. Then six months later I find it and I'm like okay, I forgot you even existed. Good bye 👋
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amother




Eggshell
 

Post Sun, Apr 24 2022, 10:51 am
My system is this

If I haven’t used it in a year- throw out unless it’s something that I know for a fact I will use again or is very expensive to replace

Clothing, shoes, etc. I will put in bags to donate. Some I’ll try to sell, but even then is usually not worth it since it can sit for ages before selling and in the meantime takes up space

About once a year I go through the whole house weeding out things I don’t want to keep anymore

Another thought that can help - Is this item important enough to save that you would spend money to keep it in storage? In the past I’ve used storage units and had to have this mindset when debating what stayed and went. It’s very helpful since most of the time the answer was no


My mom is a hoarder, it is very difficult to be in her house. It is my life mission to not hold on to unnecessary clutter
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wifeandmore




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Apr 24 2022, 10:51 am
Also anything usable, but not usable for me, I give away.
I don't sell unless it's $100+
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amother




Maroon
 

Post Sun, Apr 24 2022, 10:59 am
I struggle with this too. I am working on it as I saved a bunch of things I really dont need. I have so much clutter I have been trying to slowly work through it.
So what I have started to do is if I come across something I didnt know I had or havent used in a while I ask myself if I have a good use for it.
I ask if that use will happen soon and is it worth saving. This can mean something different for each person. Like if I am expecting I will save decent baby clothes, toys etc. But should I save my eldest's outgrown clothes when I have no other kids of the same gender (and even if new baby is the same gender it will be 6 or more years until they can wear it?). I decided to only save the good stuff now. Like a special sweater or something that a grandparent gave.

Or maybe I know someone else who can use it. My neighborhood has a giveaway WhatsApp group. I started to post on there. (Sometimes to let them know it is outside on the porch, sometimes to arrange when to get it like if it is expensive). It helps me to know that someone else is using it.

Any other tips?
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amother




OP
 

Post Sun, Apr 24 2022, 11:03 am
Thanks for all the replies and advice ! (and please add more if anyone has anything else to contribute). My question now is that after I throw away the item how do I go about "remembering" not buying that item again and wasting my money, as my subconscious mind is telling me that if I keep the item then next time I go to shop I will say I don't need the item , I already have it. But if I throw the item away then I will buy it again then the pattern continues on and on with more money wasted.
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amother




Poinsettia
 

Post Sun, Apr 24 2022, 11:43 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Thanks for all the replies and advice ! (and please add more if anyone has anything else to contribute). My question now is that after I throw away the item how do I go about "remembering" not buying that item again and wasting my money, as my subconscious mind is telling me that if I keep the item then next time I go to shop I will say I don't need the item , I already have it. But if I throw the item away then I will buy it again then the pattern continues on and on with more money wasted.


Maybe it's worth looking through your closets from time to time just to remind yourself of what you own.

And don't buy random items until you need them. In a worst case scenario, you can borrow something from a neighbor. If you find yourself needing to borrow the thing a second time, then you should buy it.
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amother




Feverfew
 

Post Sun, Apr 24 2022, 12:00 pm
I have been in the process of decluttering for almost 2 years now. Yes, it’s a long process because I have small children and there’s always stuff coming into the house. Also... anyone else have a problem with going to Target? 😬😂 anyway, I found two YouTube channels that were absolutely excellent in helping me change my mindset and looking at decluttering as a positive experience. I also discovered that buying things was an act of procrastination. For example: Instead of thinking “I’m unhappy with this part of my house, let me go look for new decor” what I really needed to do was get rid of more stuff!!

Try watching The Secret Slob and The Minimal Mom on YouTube. No exaggeration, they really helped me change my life.
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DustyDiamonds




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Apr 24 2022, 12:06 pm
I’m constantly asking myself the same question.

My mom is a major hoarder.

For me, it’s about my fear of not having money. Which I’ve lived through for many years, and BH am not in that stage.

If I throw away this $25 mascara that I never use because it flakes, then what if I am out of mascara one day and payday won’t be for another week? I could really use the flakey mascara then! And all of those outfits that are slightly stained or pilled… if we go stream hiking (which I did once as an adult!) they would be perfect, otherwise I may ruin a perfectly good outfit if I throw these out!

BH I tell myself that there’s always 24 hour pharmacies for emergencies, and keeping ONE old outfit for painting or stream hiking is enough. I don’t need a summer one and a winter one and one with a long skirt and one with a short skirt etc!

Before pesach I donated lots of clothes to an upscale gemach. I had an easier time parting with the things because I knew someone would likely use them. They were all 1-3 years old and in good condition, and I may have worn some of them if I’d kept them. But if I keep them until I’m SURE that I won’t ever wear them, then nobody will benefit from them, because they’ll be many years out of style.

I hope this helps. I feel like I’ll always be on this journey.
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amother




OP
 

Post Sun, Apr 24 2022, 12:15 pm
DustyDiamonds wrote:
I’m constantly asking myself the same question.

My mom is a major hoarder.

For me, it’s about my fear of not having money. Which I’ve lived through for many years, and BH am not in that stage.

If I throw away this $25 mascara that I never use because it flakes, then what if I am out of mascara one day and payday won’t be for another week? I could really use the flakey mascara then! And all of those outfits that are slightly stained or pilled… if we go stream hiking (which I did once as an adult!) they would be perfect, otherwise I may ruin a perfectly good outfit if I throw these out!

BH I tell myself that there’s always 24 hour pharmacies for emergencies, and keeping ONE old outfit for painting or stream hiking is enough. I don’t need a summer one and a winter one and one with a long skirt and one with a short skirt etc!

Before pesach I donated lots of clothes to an upscale gemach. I had an easier time parting with the things because I knew someone would likely use them. They were all 1-3 years old and in good condition, and I may have worn some of them if I’d kept them. But if I keep them until I’m SURE that I won’t ever wear them, then nobody will benefit from them, because they’ll be many years out of style.

I hope this helps. I feel like I’ll always be on this journey.
Thanks ! Your post is exactly the struggle I am going through. I am not from the wealthy side and am scared of just disposing stuff lest I may have to buy it again, but I also realise that getting rid of unnecessary stuff also gets rid of the messines in my mind and is also a form of wealth relaxed minset.
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DustyDiamonds




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Apr 24 2022, 12:27 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Thanks ! Your post is exactly the struggle I am going through. I am not from the wealthy side and am scared of just disposing stuff lest I may have to buy it again, but I also realise that getting rid of unnecessary stuff also gets rid of the messines in my mind and is also a form of wealth relaxed minset.


Glad my post was helpful!

A few years ago (when my clutter was much worse) I told a friend that I wish I could pay $2,000 to a service that would organize my entire house. She knew the insides of my closets and told me that it would probably cost over $10k to hire someone for this job.

And she was right. And then I realized that if I threw away just $3,000 of extraneous stuff that I would one day need to re-purchase, and my house was organized and my mind reflected that… that’s a bargain! So I got rid of A LOT with that attitude!
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amother




Lightgray
 

Post Sun, Apr 24 2022, 12:28 pm
I'm another person who grew up in clutter and made it my life's mission to keep my home empty of "stuff."

Many posters here wrote good ideas. I'll post what works for me.

1) Giving away is always easier than throwing out, so if you have a local gemach or thrift shop or a needy neighbor, give it away knowing that you aren't being wasteful.

2) If there's a specific reason I haven't used the item, it's easier to let go, such as painful sandals or flaky mascara. Sometimes I have an item that I haven't used in a while but I'm reluctant to let go of because it's still good. That's when I need to be honest with myself and ask myself if it's good, why haven't I used it? Sometimes the answer is a one that makes me feel embarrassed to admit to myself, such as, I don't like how I look in it, or I'm not sure it's still in style. Once I isolated the reason, it's easier for me to evaluate whether to keep it or dump it. For ex, I tell myself, I am entitled to like what I wear, so I don't have to keep it even if it's still in good condition.

3) I think how many years of use I got out of the item. Even if it's still in perfect condition or good for another purpose, I don't have to hold onto it any longer because I got the full value of this item already. Thank you, item, for serving me until now.

4) Very often when I save something for a specific scenario, when that scenario actually arises, I forget that I have the item, only to find it a few months later and think how great it would have been if I knew I had saved this item. That's a sure sign that the item is useless. Whenever I think of holding onto something like that, I question whether I will know if its existence or even its location in order to be helpful. If it's likely that I won't remember that I own something or won't know where it is, it can get dumped now.
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