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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Preschoolers

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Do you walk you DC (under age 6) to use the bathroom at night?

Yes- every night with out fail

22%

[ 17 ]

No- Never

64%

[ 49 ]

Sometimes- depending on my mood

[ 5 ]

It depends- will explain below

[ 5 ]

Total Votes : 76

amother

Sun, Apr 24 2022, 10:54 pm

So my DC randomly wets their bed at night...
My Dh and I are going back and forth whether it's beneficial to walk them to the bathroom at night, before we go to sleep to use it...

Please weigh in on all opinions

amother

RosePink

Sun, Apr 24 2022, 10:57 pm

Yea I did and it worked well.

amother

Melon

Sun, Apr 24 2022, 10:59 pm

I don’t. I used to and then I realized that it simply conditions the child. I do see a difference when I make them use the bathroom right before bed.

amother

Stoneblue

Sun, Apr 24 2022, 11:16 pm

I tried it with my oldest son and couldn’t get him to budge. He would fight me off. Eventually he grew out of pull-ups at age 8.

amother

Salmon

Sun, Apr 24 2022, 11:26 pm

I tried with my 2.5 year old but she refuses to even try to pee so there is just no point. She has a fitted mattress protector and another mattress protector over that and I keep an extra set of sheets and blankets in her room so if she does wet her bed in the night it’s not such a hard clean up. (Luckily so far it doesn’t happen often).

With my older child we did wake him to pee for a bit. With him it helped prevent accidents.

amother

Peony

Sun, Apr 24 2022, 11:53 pm

First 4 kids I did. Til they didn't need it (when I missed a night and they stayed dry). Different ages for each one. If I didn't, I was changing their sheets the next day and no thanks. My 5th kid - the most problematic to potty train - didn't need it. He sometimes goes in middle of the night or just keeps dry.

Depends on the kid but most kids, yes.

amother

PlumPink

Mon, Apr 25 2022, 12:16 am

I'd say never but if they've been up to a late seuda (Fri night, yomtov) then I find taking them about an hour after they've fallen asleep really helps. Seder night I totally forgot and had 3 drenched beds the next morning (age 6, 4, 2). (all boys if it makes a difference). My kids are heavy sleepers. On an average day they wake up if they need to but if they are very tired and if they drink a lot before bedtime then we get into trouble....

amother

Mon, Apr 25 2022, 8:51 am

amother [ Melon ] wrote:

I don’t. I used to and then I realized that it simply conditions the child. I do see a difference when I make them use the bathroom right before bed.

What do you mean by conditions? That if you miss a night of walking then they'll go at the time you usually take? Or they get used to needing the bathroom at night? Or something else

Sesame

Mon, Apr 25 2022, 8:55 am

By mistake voted wrongly. No I don’t. I leave a lamp on so it’s not dark and they have easy access if needed.
If your kid is setting themselves, I’d wake them up and carry them and then put them to bed. Have you checked for a medical problem, or they just aren’t trained at night yet?

amother

Mon, Apr 25 2022, 8:59 am

Sesame wrote:

Theyve been trained at night... with a fluke accident every month or so... but over the past month or so the accidents picked up frequency...

The past 3 years they've been officially night trained we've been going back and forth whether it's beneficial to walk or not...

amother

Tangerine

Mon, Apr 25 2022, 9:20 am

I remember someone telling me that she had a roommate who wasn't continent at night as an adult because her parents used to take her to the toilet when she was asleep in the middle of the night. Or something like that.
I've found that all of mine usually can sleep through the night without issue, if they do need, they will usually wake up themselves and go. I have sometimes found one wandering at night, more asleep than awake that needed directing to the toilet, then they would go back into bed and fall asleep.

happy chick

Mon, Apr 25 2022, 9:22 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Don't forget, being off-schedule can do weird things. If they've been going to sleep at diff times cuz of vacation, if can throw them off. Unless it started before pesach vacation. But I would say maybe wait till they get back into routine and see if things get better.

amother

Linen

Mon, Apr 25 2022, 9:43 am

We do. My kid just wont wake up on their own but if we forget we have a soaked bed. I think it is just something to outgrow and wont affect them forever.

metacognizant

Mon, Apr 25 2022, 9:49 am

I don’t get it— are peoples’ young children not going to the potty right before bed? My five year old son will use the potty independently *except* at bedtime and first time in the morning. For those times we need to prompt (bedtime) or coerce (morning). If he doesn’t do the bedtime potty he’ll wet himself at night but we just make it non negotiable— no potty, no bedtime story.

AlwaysGrateful

Mon, Apr 25 2022, 12:02 pm

metacognizant wrote:

No. People's young children are going to the bathroom before bedtime and STILL wetting the bed at night. Many kids don't do this, many kids do. Count yourself as fortunate that you have no idea what we're all talking about Wink

I didn't answer, because it depends on the kid. Some of my kids night trained late. I only took them to the bathroom if they were wetting themselves so badly that they soaked the bed or themselves
through the diaper (because it's one thing to sleep in a wet pull up, and another thing to wake up soaked in pee). If they wake up in the morning with a wet diaper and just take it off and move on with their day, then I don't really see the reason to take them at night. It doesn't train them, it just minimizes the chances that they'll pee that night.

Note that I had a kid who night trained the same time they day trained, one kid who didn't train until age 7, and others who night trained sometime in between. I didn't force it, since it's a physiological thing that can't be forced and will just make the kids feel badly about themselves.

In your case, though, it's different. I'm assuming your child would feel badly going back into diapers, so the only choices are that they wake up wet sometimes, or that you take them to the bathroom before you go to sleep. If it's not a big inconvenience, I would think that it's a chessed to your child. It's really miserable to wake up all wet, and it can make them feel guilty about something that's not their fault.

(Disclaimer: I would first make sure it's not something medical. I would then see if I can figure out a pattern to the nights that they wet the bed, since maybe there's something else I can change instead. If neither of these worked, though, I hope I'd take the few minutes each night to prevent them from discomfort, assuming that it worked.)

amother

Sapphire

Mon, Apr 25 2022, 4:19 pm

amother [ Tangerine ] wrote:

Sorry but had to lol at this.

The roommate was not incontinent because her parent took her to the bathroom in middle of the night when she was 3 (or 4, 5, 6, 7 etc).

The roommate was incontinent because she has an issue. (Medical, emotional, psychological, physiological, etc).

A child outgrows nocturnal incontinence eventually but some can be helped along by being taken in middle of the night. But it will eventually happen naturally.

As an older teen or adult when this still has not happened naturally, it is certainly not because of any bathrooming techniques used as a child (barring abuse). It is a completely different reason and picture.

pause

Mon, Apr 25 2022, 7:25 pm

For my sons, I took them before we went to sleep every single bingle night for 1.5-2 years after night training. For my daughters, I did it only for a few months.

For each kid, I would skip a night randomly and see how it goes. Boys needed that long to get used to waking themselves in time, while girls were fine with just a bit of time.

amother

Caramel

Mon, Apr 25 2022, 8:45 pm

I wouldn't wake up to take in toilet. But I remind them to go or I take them depending on age before they go to sleep and if they cry in middle of the night I will usually take them because it usually means they need in toilet.

amother

Rose

Mon, Apr 25 2022, 9:53 pm

My oldest I would take to the bathroom before bed went to bed each night until he moved to a top bunk at age 8. (Can't wake him/reach him to get him to go so we stopped) he rarely still had an accident. But we've taught him to go to the bathroom right before bed. And if he is in bed reading for an hour or so we remind him again "since you're still up please go to the bathroom again before closing your books" he was the longest kid of ours in pull ups at night. We taught him also if he has an accident no big deal, put the sheets blankets and pajamas in the laundry basket and let us know so you will have a clean bed. His siblings chose to go without a pull up or diaper at night and do fine. It's just how their different bodies work. My 4 year old wakes up every night to pee at some point I walk with him to the bathroom when he calls put in the night to go pee. Then he goes back to bed. My other kids stay dry without a 3 am bathroom break. So I say do what works for each kid.

amother

Whitewash

Mon, Apr 25 2022, 10:02 pm

I don’t. Kids wear pull-up a until they start waking up dry.
My oldest (almost 8) has about 1 accident a week or less these days.

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