Home

Preteen dd talking to me about her weight
Previous  1, 2
 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children


View latest: 24h 48h 72h


Sesame




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Apr 29 2022, 6:34 am
What an amazing mum! Keep going!
And no, you’re not I’ll equipped, your her mother, the ONLY one who is best equipped
Back to top

gold21




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Apr 29 2022, 6:35 am
amother [ Brown ] wrote:
Intuitive eating by Ellyn Satter is a wonderful resource.

Im curious about your own relationship with being fat- not just healthy foods. The way you said just keeping eating healthy foods is not in fact correct. Some people eat only "healthy" foods and are in fact quite unhealthy. Hence most diets. Eating cake daily and having juice will not in fact make someone gain weight. For a diabetic, sweets can be lifesaving, for a child they can bring on an appetite for carbs and for adults they can satiate their sweet tooth.

Perhaps you mean nutritious?

Raising children in this diet/healthy crazed world is hard and I commend you for doing what you can to help your daughter.

Of course I know that here on the internet nuance is difficult too so if I missed my mark on what I took from your post, I apologize.


Juice & cake makes me gain weight....
Back to top

amother




Brown
 

Post Fri, Apr 29 2022, 7:21 am
gold21 wrote:
Juice & cake makes me gain weight....


Have you dieted? Because a body should process it with ease as long as it isnt very different then other foods being eaten.
Back to top

amother




Brown
 

Post Fri, Apr 29 2022, 7:31 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Thank you all for reassuring me that I dealt with my daughter ok. I appreciate that!

Don't think it's all peaches and cream though! My further issue is that a few of my thinner kids I'm often asking if they ate enough when they left the table. Asking if they want more. Then my 9 yr old pipes up that she does. What do I say to not make her think I'm treating her differently? Do I treat her differently? I have reason to ...
I try to answer her in a neutral way, like oh I wasn't talking to you. Sometimes that works, but other times she'll say, oh sorry - but can I have more please?

Basically how to deal with two kinds of eaters? My 9 year old the only one on her side...


This post contradicts your original post and what you told your daughter. If you truly believe that everyone's body is different, why does a thin person have more validity in asking for seconds?

Eta- by not asking her if she ate enough you are treating her differently.
Back to top

amother




Chartreuse
 

Post Fri, Apr 29 2022, 7:40 am
gold21 wrote:
OK.

Do you find that she eats the fruit & veggies you offer her?

I have a child around the same age as your daughter. This child is extremely picky but loves red pepper, strawberries, grapes, pineapple, and mushrooms. (I count mushrooms as a veggie lol). This child has a large appetite so I offer large amounts of fruit & veggies. My other children eat fruit & veggies but in smaller amounts as they have smaller appetites.

Anyway, so that's what we offer this child.

Do you find your child filling up on the fruit & veggies you put in front of her?

Also, I recently eliminated caloric drinks from Shabbos meals. I offer diet Snapple on Shabbos (only on Shabbos- water during the week). I personally love diet Snapple and so do my kids. We also have flavored seltzer on Shabbos. And water is available as well.

Diet drinks aren't particularly healthy but neither are high-sugar drinks. So I decided to go with the diet drinks.

Good Luck!!



diet anything such as diet snapple is not for kids. they put in sugar substitutes which actually causes more sugar cravings. flavored seltzer also has sugar subsitutes in it flavored water does too. Over peach we got a box of oranges. turned it into juice my kids loved it as a treat. it was made out of real orange juice not like the stores with added sugar. Water is healthiest then comes low sugar drinks. you need to compare I think dole makes pinapple juice thats low calorie low sugar. or make your own. Diet drinks are the worst
Back to top

amother




OP
 

Post Fri, Apr 29 2022, 7:45 am
gold21 wrote:
OK.

Do you find that she eats the fruit & veggies you offer her?

I have a child around the same age as your daughter. This child is extremely picky but loves red pepper, strawberries, grapes, pineapple, and mushrooms. (I count mushrooms as a veggie lol). This child has a large appetite so I offer large amounts of fruit & veggies. My other children eat fruit & veggies but in smaller amounts as they have smaller appetites.

Anyway, so that's what we offer this child.

Do you find your child filling up on the fruit & veggies you put in front of her?

Also, I recently eliminated caloric drinks from Shabbos meals. I offer diet Snapple on Shabbos (only on Shabbos- water during the week). I personally love diet Snapple and so do my kids. We also have flavored seltzer on Shabbos. And water is available as well.

Diet drinks aren't particularly healthy but neither are high-sugar drinks. So I decided to go with the diet drinks.

Good Luck!!

She doesn't fill up on the fruits and veggies, just has some till we are eating supper. Same as my other kids who are hungry. She's not a super picky eater, there are some textures she dislikes but other than that she's willing to try things out.

We have oj and grape juice on Shabbos mixed with seltzer or water. Water all other times, too.
Back to top

amother




OP
 

Post Fri, Apr 29 2022, 7:46 am
Sesame wrote:
What an amazing mum! Keep going!
And no, you’re not I’ll equipped, your her mother, the ONLY one who is best equipped

Thanks! But I do feel I need guidance :-)
Back to top

amother




OP
 

Post Fri, Apr 29 2022, 7:48 am
amother [ Brown ] wrote:
This post contradicts your original post and what you told your daughter. If you truly believe that everyone's body is different, why does a thin person have more validity in asking for seconds?

Eta- by not asking her if she ate enough you are treating her differently.

This is for sure true, which is why I added my second post. To clarify why I do need some help with this.
I believe bodies are different naturally. Yes. But at the same time I see my daughter eating more than me (and my other kids) so I'm not thinking she actually is still hungry. As opposed to my other daughter who eats a bite or two and goes to play...
Back to top

amother




OP
 

Post Fri, Apr 29 2022, 7:53 am
amother [ Brown ] wrote:
Intuitive eating by Ellyn Satter is a wonderful resource.

Im curious about your own relationship with being fat- not just healthy foods. The way you said just keeping eating healthy foods is not in fact correct. Some people eat only "healthy" foods and are in fact quite unhealthy. Hence most diets. Eating cake daily and having juice will not in fact make someone gain weight. For a diabetic, sweets can be lifesaving, for a child they can bring on an appetite for carbs and for adults they can satiate their sweet tooth.

Perhaps you mean nutritious?

Raising children in this diet/healthy crazed world is hard and I commend you for doing what you can to help your daughter.

Of course I know that here on the internet nuance is difficult too so if I missed my mark on what I took from your post, I apologize.

Yes, I mean nutritious.
I myself usually go the "healthy" route with the occasional treat. But my family eats a variety, mainly served nutritious at home with special treat now and again for occasions.
I'm not so concerned with my daughter eating bad foods for her. Although she has nosh like a regular kid has. I'm more concerned, I guess, with portions. With the amounts she eats of all the foods. And I'm not even concerned, per se. I just need to know I "should" be concerned.
Back to top

gold21




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Apr 29 2022, 8:26 am
amother [ Brown ] wrote:
Have you dieted? Because a body should process it with ease as long as it isnt very different then other foods being eaten.


I don't strictly diet, but I do watch what I eat.

I'm in my mid-30s so at this point I see that calories matter more than they did when I was under 25. When I was under 25 my metabolism was more flexible I guess.

When I was a kid I ate plenty of juice and cake and was quite thin. Nowadays I have to maintain my weight by watching what I eat.
Back to top

gold21




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Apr 29 2022, 8:30 am
amother [ Chartreuse ] wrote:
diet anything such as diet snapple is not for kids. they put in sugar substitutes which actually causes more sugar cravings. flavored seltzer also has sugar subsitutes in it flavored water does too. Over peach we got a box of oranges. turned it into juice my kids loved it as a treat. it was made out of real orange juice not like the stores with added sugar. Water is healthiest then comes low sugar drinks. you need to compare I think dole makes pinapple juice thats low calorie low sugar. or make your own. Diet drinks are the worst


Eh.

I love diet Snapple and pretty much live on it.
It doesn't make me crave sugar. Is it healthy? Probably not. Neither is the food coloring in the snacks you bought, the preservatives in the bread you bought, the chemicals in the breakfast cereals you bought, the flouride in the water you drink, the pesticides on the fruits you eat, the GMO ingredients in the cake you bought.....

Ya know. Shrug.
Back to top

gold21




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Apr 29 2022, 8:34 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
She doesn't fill up on the fruits and veggies, just has some till we are eating supper. Same as my other kids who are hungry. She's not a super picky eater, there are some textures she dislikes but other than that she's willing to try things out.

We have oj and grape juice on Shabbos mixed with seltzer or water. Water all other times, too.


If she's not eating a substantial amount of fruit and veggies, it won't help curb her appetite.

Just practically speaking, over-eating can cause constipation. Fruit & veggies can help with digestive issues. A large serving of fruit & veggies (that she actually eats) before supper is definitely what I would suggest.
Back to top

amother




OP
 

Post Fri, Apr 29 2022, 9:54 am
gold21 wrote:
If she's not eating a substantial amount of fruit and veggies, it won't help curb her appetite.

Just practically speaking, over-eating can cause constipation. Fruit & veggies can help with digestive issues. A large serving of fruit & veggies (that she actually eats) before supper is definitely what I would suggest.

Thanks for the suggestion, I really should do this. It'll take planning and effort, but not unreasonable. I have a few kids who are often constipated. And myself and husband as well. Hmmm .... Perhaps there's a trend. I haven't actually thought about it. We probably all need the extra fiber. And if course drinking enough is always a struggle.
Thanks!
Back to top

amother




DarkOrange
 

Post Fri, Apr 29 2022, 12:57 pm
SuperWify wrote:
That’s gross that the book talks about 12 year olds dieting. Recipe for disaster.


I remember reading that book at the same age - 4th grade, and putting myself on a very unnecessary diet. I don't think it was the fault of the book - I already had body image issues before that, but it was definitely a trigger.

Except I didn't share it with my mom, and if I would've she wouldn't have responded nearly as well as OP.

OP, your daughter is lucky to have you as a mom.
Back to top

amother




Slateblue
 

Post Thu, May 05 2022, 5:12 am
OP I feel like I could’ve written your post. My daughter just turned 9 and is starting to pay closer attention to her body, and it doesn’t help that my mother has serious body issues and talks a lot about weight and size in front of her. It’s something that seriously messed me up as a kid.
However I try to respond the same way you said that you do and it really sounds like you’re handling this well. You’re not shaming her, you’re not trying to make her feel guilty for eating, etc. It sounds like you’re doing awesome and I got motivation from your post on how to continue handling this situation with my daughter.
Back to top

amother




Caramel
 

Post Tue, May 10 2022, 5:33 pm
amother [ Brown ] wrote:
This post contradicts your original post and what you told your daughter. If you truly believe that everyone's body is different, why does a thin person have more validity in asking for seconds?

Eta- by not asking her if she ate enough you are treating her differently.


I understood her post to mean that the thinner children leave the table (after picking minimally at the food) and she is concerned they did not eat enough!
The 9 year is definitely eating enough!
Back to top

amother




OP
 

Post Tue, May 10 2022, 8:42 pm
amother [ Caramel ] wrote:
I understood her post to mean that the thinner children leave the table (after picking minimally at the food) and she is concerned they did not eat enough!
The 9 year is definitely eating enough!

Yes this is true.
Back to top

gootlfriends




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, May 10 2022, 8:50 pm
Keep in mind that she might be doing early puberty. Its no longer unusual for 9 year olds to get their period. Especially girls are the heavier side. She can watch what she eats and slow the weight gain but the wheels may already be in motion. Is she physically active? That should help too. I hope you continue to be loving and supportive as you have been, you sound like a great mother.
Back to top
Previous  1, 2 Recent Topics

Page 2 of 2 View latest: 24h 48h 72h


Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children

Related Topics Replies Last Post
Can I lose weight this way?
by amother
3 Wed, Jun 22 2022, 8:22 am View last post
Will I lose weight like this?
by amother
38 Tue, Jun 21 2022, 6:43 am View last post
Preteen bathing suits
by amother
0 Tue, Jun 14 2022, 11:03 am View last post
How much weight did you loose per week?
by amother
11 Mon, Jun 13 2022, 7:59 am View last post
Contrave for weight loss?
by amother
1 Sun, Jun 12 2022, 11:23 pm View last post