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Not inviting kids - how to make it clear
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singleagain




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 14 2022, 2:18 pm
watergirl wrote:
Just saw this got bumped up. We did this and more. I allowed for 2 guests for this couple, they wrote only 1, and brought 5.

BH the simcha was beautiful and as expected, that one couple DID bring their kids. I sent a message (we did an evite) to the families with kids that said something like "the party is for adults and kids over bar mitzvah, we are looking forward to seeing your children at the kiddush".

The one family who I expected to bring their kids... brought their kids. They RSVP'd for one and brought 5. I even contacted the wife (my friend) and my husband contacted the husband (his friend) and we did not get a reply. Then they showed up with their very wild kids, who sat down and threw literal tantrums that we did not have a seat for them (we got more added) and THEN threw another fit that we told the kids to eat from the kid's buffet. They wanted the plated, served adults food. Oh, and the father plunked the kid down NEXT TO ME. He did not even sit by them. My husband moved them immediately. They ran around grabbing the shtick we gave out. It was not a great scene. And they did not send a gift (which was not at all expected, only two friends brought gifts actually, but they didnt bring extra people!), and that was that.

I greeted them with a smile and did not show my frustration, and moved on. Moving forward, I am not sure I will invite them to another simcha.


You're story reminded me of this aita post

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmIth.....share
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amother
Silver


 

Post Tue, Jun 14 2022, 2:19 pm
watergirl wrote:
Just saw this got bumped up. We did this and more. I allowed for 2 guests for this couple, they wrote only 1, and brought 5.

BH the simcha was beautiful and as expected, that one couple DID bring their kids. I sent a message (we did an evite) to the families with kids that said something like "the party is for adults and kids over bar mitzvah, we are looking forward to seeing your children at the kiddush".

The one family who I expected to bring their kids... brought their kids. They RSVP'd for one and brought 5. I even contacted the wife (my friend) and my husband contacted the husband (his friend) and we did not get a reply. Then they showed up with their very wild kids, who sat down and threw literal tantrums that we did not have a seat for them (we got more added) and THEN threw another fit that we told the kids to eat from the kid's buffet. They wanted the plated, served adults food. Oh, and the father plunked the kid down NEXT TO ME. He did not even sit by them. My husband moved them immediately. They ran around grabbing the shtick we gave out. It was not a great scene. And they did not send a gift (which was not at all expected, only two friends brought gifts actually, but they didnt bring extra people!), and that was that.

I greeted them with a smile and did not show my frustration, and moved on. Moving forward, I am not sure I will invite them to another simcha.


oh my gosh. Some ppl just really don't get it!!
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watergirl




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 14 2022, 2:31 pm
singleagain wrote:
You're story reminded me of this aita post

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmIth.....share

I think this reddit aita post would not apply to a frum wedding because we generally consider infants to be assumed as coming. The couple brought their two oldest kids, a toddler, and an infant. I did not mind the infant at all. I minded the toddler and two kids, and I minded being ignored when we tried to confirm with them. I feel like they deliberately ignored us.

Truth is, they are not mean people, they just do not care and do their own thing. And they never ever reciprocate in any way. But my husband felt we could not exclude them.
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singleagain




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 14 2022, 2:39 pm
watergirl wrote:
I think this reddit aita post would not apply to a frum wedding because we generally consider infants to be assumed as coming. The couple brought their two oldest kids, a toddler, and an infant. I did not mind the infant at all. I minded the toddler and two kids, and I minded being ignored when we tried to confirm with them. I feel like they deliberately ignored us.

Truth is, they are not mean people, they just do not care and do their own thing. And they never ever reciprocate in any way. But my husband felt we could not exclude them.


What reminded me about this story was that she did it without asking. Or clarifying.

If you're interested search aita and child-free wedding you'll find many more stories
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Notsobusy




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 14 2022, 2:40 pm
watergirl wrote:
Just saw this got bumped up. We did this and more. I allowed for 2 guests for this couple, they wrote only 1, and brought 5.

BH the simcha was beautiful and as expected, that one couple DID bring their kids. I sent a message (we did an evite) to the families with kids that said something like "the party is for adults and kids over bar mitzvah, we are looking forward to seeing your children at the kiddush".

The one family who I expected to bring their kids... brought their kids. They RSVP'd for one and brought 5. I even contacted the wife (my friend) and my husband contacted the husband (his friend) and we did not get a reply. Then they showed up with their very wild kids, who sat down and threw literal tantrums that we did not have a seat for them (we got more added) and THEN threw another fit that we told the kids to eat from the kid's buffet. They wanted the plated, served adults food. Oh, and the father plunked the kid down NEXT TO ME. He did not even sit by them. My husband moved them immediately. They ran around grabbing the shtick we gave out. It was not a great scene. And they did not send a gift (which was not at all expected, only two friends brought gifts actually, but they didnt bring extra people!), and that was that.

I greeted them with a smile and did not show my frustration, and moved on. Moving forward, I am not sure I will invite them to another simcha.


Wow! I'm schocked that people act like this. But I see you're not really surprised, I guess you know them well enough.

Please make sure to reread this thread before your next simcha so you remember just how bad it was.
Otherwise you might feel guilty and invite them.
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watergirl




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 14 2022, 3:01 pm
Notsobusy wrote:
Wow! I'm schocked that people act like this. But I see you're not really surprised, I guess you know them well enough.

Please make sure to reread this thread before your next simcha so you remember just how bad it was.
Otherwise you might feel guilty and invite them.

Yeah... and will do!
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amother
Cantaloupe


 

Post Tue, Jun 14 2022, 3:33 pm
Add a line to read: Adults Only
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