Women working - Normal hishtadlus?

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Forum -> Working Women

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amother

Red

Thu, Apr 28 2022, 8:48 pm

amother [ Puce ] wrote:

I literally don’t know anyone who does these things that can’t afford them- or they get it gifted from their parents.

I know quite afew people that are deep in credit card debt because it's embarrassing not to keep up with the standards. (You'd never see anyone pushing a snap n go in certain communities, yet everyone must get a doona, it's so embarrassing if not. Or Veja sneakers for the kids....) People aren't willing to lower their standards. People have tens of credit cards with no plan of how to pay them off.

amother

SandyBrown

Thu, Apr 28 2022, 8:50 pm

amother [ Red ] wrote:

Do you really know people like this - I know people from many neighborhoods, I don't know people that are actually drowning in debt. Is this fact?

amother

Red

Thu, Apr 28 2022, 8:57 pm

amother [ SandyBrown ] wrote:

Do you really know people like this - I know people from many neighborhoods, I don't know people that are actually drowning in debt. Is this fact?

Yes, I know people like this. They don't think they're in debt because they think credit card is free money. By the time it hits them, they're in for a shock. Unfortunately, alot of young people are living like this.
(How would you know that they aren't drowning in debt if they didn't tell you so? The seemingly well to do person may be drowning in debt.)

imamommy613

Thu, Apr 28 2022, 11:28 pm

It’s a question for your Rav/Rebbtzin.
No one can really give you an answer… some women need to work for their sanity - they can’t be home with little kids or just take care of the home, cool and clean. And then there are women who need to stay home for their sanity and cannot function working and taking care of a home and family… so it’s really a personality type…
There are tons that work and tons that don’t…
Just like tons eat healthy and work out and tons don’t…
You have to know what works best for you and always ask your Rav for guidance before making any big decision
Hatzhlacha

amother

Sage

Sun, May 01 2022, 11:13 pm

This is an interesting discussion. I don’t think that there’s one right answer to your question, as in all women should definitely work/ not work. Each of us has so many different factors contributing to that decision. Husband income, parent support, standard of living, kids ages, and a million other things.
My personal experience has been that when I’m home and present with my children more hours, they are generally less needy in the “ things” department. So I save some cash that way. But everyone is different so you have to do what works best for your situation. After 120, you need to be able to tell Hashem that you did what you thought was in everyone’s best interests.

amother

Blonde

Mon, May 02 2022, 3:37 am

I have only ever worked PT- 20 hours a week.
And it's still very, very draining sometimes.
I have a good degree but don't get paid much.
My job is emotionally draining and often leads to burnout.
Some jobs I had to travel out of town quite often, and doing that while pregnant turned out to be extremely hard for me.

When I do work, it's very clear to me that I am only working for the following reasons:
a. My Ye'ud in life. I was blessed with certain skills and passions and feel like I need to share those skills with the world, to do my part in making this world a better place.

b. for my satisfaction. I enjoy the stimulation I recieve from my job. I also learn so much about life, things that have heped me become a btter wife and mother.

c. as a chessed to my husband, who has a big burden on him, providing for our family. Any money I bring in is a huge help. But, he does not expct me to bring in that money!

My role in life is to be a good mom and a supportive and warm wife.
Working full time, or working when I am really sick while pregnant, or sending my little baby out to a babysitter in order for me to work- that feels to me like its not a part of my hishtadlut.
As soon as I feel that my job is taking away too much of my emotional health, or is too draining, I leave.

I carry the curse of Chava fully on my shoulders, LOL. I see no need to add another curse on top of that.

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