Moms of large families how do you do it, tricks and tips

amother

Mon, May 02 2022, 5:15 am

I have bH 4 beautiful kids (ages 8-2). I got married later in life and am starting to feel my biological clock ticking. I want to add another kid but I'm not sure I can handle it. My husband and I both work full time and have minimal household help (a few hours of cleaning help a week). The logistics of working and caring for our kids leave us so exhausted and overwhelmed. Im up at 6 am and it's nonstop until 10 pm. By the end of the day im so tired I just collapse in bed. Between working and the kids needs there's not a minute for myself. Appointments, homework, baths, shopping, breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, laundry, playdates, haircuts, the list never ends. I know there are people with far more kids then me who have this down. Would love to hear your tips and tricks for how you get it all done or how to make thing easier. What can I reasonably expect my kids to help out with given their age. I want to be in a place where I feel like I can have another kid and it won't break me

amother

Blonde

Mon, May 02 2022, 6:15 am

Not everyone can do it and there should be no shame in that. Some of us feel very deeply or have childhood trauma which makes raising our children healthy a more overwhelming task. However if you WANT more children and to stay sane, there is no magic pill to take. You hire loads of help, cut back work hours and do the minimal basics for the next 10 years or so...

amother

Vanilla

Mon, May 02 2022, 6:21 am

If you can afford the outside help to clean, laundry, then take as much help as you can. If you can prepare meals in advance, like on Sundays to cook for the week. soups, chicken, fish, and put into tins and freeze. Then you just need to add a salad when you get home. Use the crock pot more. With very young kids its not simple. But they do grow up quickly and it becomes easier in certain ways. The older kids help more with the younger kids.

amother

Lilac

Mon, May 02 2022, 6:52 am

I have 4 kids B”H and I was just thinking of posting this exact thread. I love a very clean house that is organized and full of healthy food. I have one B”H but I’m so tired (work full time, getting older and busier). I have cleaning help twice a week. I was just looking for more hacks. Maybe plastic plates for weeknight dinners is one. Takes away a lot of dishwashing.

I have one overriding tip - don’t make the same mistake that I did. I really didn’t give my husband any responsibilities. Not with the wake-up routine or bedtime routine. Not with shopping cooking or laundry. Not with homework. And I end up like a shmatte while he is lying on the couch looking at his phone and asking - what’s for dinner. We are older and far along in this game so it’s hard to change even though he’s a very nice and generous person. But please don’t do this. Even if your husband is going to mess up all the clothes or send your kids out with no snacks. Please ask him to help. Even fake being sick a few times a year so he will need to step up. I am beyond exhausted and I don’t want anyone else to go through this.

Also with the kids - mine are messy and spoiled. I had a Russian babysitter who warned me for years that I should be stricter with making them clean up. I wasn’t strict and now I am paying the price. However, they are good natured and help me cook in Friday afternoons - they braid the challah and fry the schnitzel. So that is a nice help for me.