 |
|
 |
 |
|
|
Forum
-> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
|
amother
OP
|
 Tue, Jun 21 2022, 7:12 pm
Here we are, a month and a half later. A few rejections later, and a bunch of no responses.
We are in contact with Rabbi Barber who is trying to help, but I think in a way it is easier to place a kid with academic issues or Chassidishkeit issues. It seems that the schools for Chassidishe boys tend to be more elitist.
It also doesn't help that it's already so late in the game!
Here I have a kid who is not at risk at all, very bright and a good learner (although a poor test taker), whose primary request is that the Yeshiva be a Chassidishe Yeshiva so he can feel part of the group. He has some social issues, so a Yeshiva that is too rigid will likely be a poor fit.
As a parent I want a school that cares about the individual bochurim and their wellbeing, and a school that values balance. Since my son tends to be a more black-and-white thinker, I am concerned that if the school espouses an extreme he will take it to an even greater extreme, with detrimental effects.
Here is the list of schools that we applied to / are trying to apply to:
Baltimore
Pomona
Detroit
Suffield
Oholei Torah
Schools that would not seem to be a good fit:
Cincinnati
Monsey
Queens (he will probably take their extreme to a further extreme)
Chicago (unlikely to be accepted)
Postville
New Haven
After speaking to others I was recommended to try to stick to a Yeshiva in the USA.
Am I being too picky?
Should I break my rules and try to beg? If I do, which school should I beg for? And where on earth does everyone get the numbers of the people to call and beg?
| |
|
| Back to top |
 3
 0
|
|
amother
Gladiolus
|
Tue, Jun 21 2022, 7:19 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | Here we are, a month and a half later. A few rejections later, and a bunch of no responses.
We are in contact with Rabbi Barber who is trying to help, but I think in a way it is easier to place a kid with academic issues or Chassidishkeit issues. It seems that the schools for Chassidishe boys tend to be more elitist.
It also doesn't help that it's already so late in the game!
Here I have a kid who is not at risk at all, very bright and a good learner (although a poor test taker), whose primary request is that the Yeshiva be a Chassidishe Yeshiva so he can feel part of the group. He has some social issues, so a Yeshiva that is too rigid will likely be a poor fit.
As a parent I want a school that cares about the individual bochurim and their wellbeing, and a school that values balance. Since my son tends to be a more black-and-white thinker, I am concerned that if the school espouses an extreme he will take it to an even greater extreme, with detrimental effects.
Here is the list of schools that we applied to / are trying to apply to:
Baltimore
Pomona
Detroit
Suffield
Oholei Torah
Schools that would not seem to be a good fit:
Cincinnati
Monsey
Queens (he will probably take their extreme to a further extreme)
Chicago (unlikely to be accepted)
Postville
New Haven
After speaking to others I was recommended to try to stick to a Yeshiva in the USA.
Am I being too picky?
Should I break my rules and try to beg? If I do, which school should I beg for? And where on earth does everyone get the numbers of the people to call and beg? |
Ask Rabbi Barber for names of who to beg. Don't give up, be a nudge and you'll find a good place. Call him again and say it's already summer and you have no backup plan, you need a place for him to go and you need names to call. And if you didn't get a response yet, keep calling and emailing.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
1
|
|
amother
Chambray
|
Tue, Jun 21 2022, 7:23 pm
|
If oholei Torah is an option then why not chovevei? Chovevei has a dorm and my boys have been very happy there. Many parents nowadays prefer chovevei over OT
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
1
|
|
amother
OP
|
Tue, Jun 21 2022, 7:28 pm
| amother [ Chambray ] wrote: | | If oholei Torah is an option then why not chovevei? Chovevei has a dorm and my boys have been very happy there. Many parents nowadays prefer chovevei over OT |
I'm admittedly out of the loop, but one of my brothers went to Chovevei years ago, and I got the impression that it was not the most Chassidishe group. Maybe I'm wrong?
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
|
amother
Mauve
|
Tue, Jun 21 2022, 7:30 pm
|
Hatzlocha op! May we hear good news now!
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
|
amother
Chambray
|
Tue, Jun 21 2022, 7:37 pm
|
Chovevei has changed more than people realize. The teachers and principal are wonderful. It is a mixed crowd because it's a community school but there are two tracks- one for those who want English and another for limudei kodesh only. We've very much enjoyed and appreciated our time there.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
1
|
farmom
|
Tue, Jun 21 2022, 7:44 pm
I see you said you want to stay in the US, but can I suggest the Ukraine yeshiva, now relocated to Germany?
Small yeshiva, lots of attention and care for the boys, very chassidish, good gashmius, care for the individual and not cookie cutter. You can pm me for more info
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
Thisisnotmyreal
|
Tue, Jun 21 2022, 7:49 pm
|
What about the new one in Arizona by Levertov?
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
1
|
|
amother
Lightyellow
|
Tue, Jun 21 2022, 7:51 pm
|
did u think of antwerp? heard they have boys from around the world
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
|
amother
Gladiolus
|
Tue, Jun 21 2022, 7:55 pm
| Thisisnotmyreal wrote: | | What about the new one in Arizona by Levertov? |
Oh! This is a good option that no one mentioned. It's exactly what you're looking for
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
|
amother
Olive
|
Tue, Jun 21 2022, 8:20 pm
|
Just had an amazing experience with New Haven!! Top notch! If its not too late, I'd recommend this yeshiva.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
|
amother
OP
|
Tue, Jun 21 2022, 8:23 pm
Okay, so I should also look into:
Chovevei (who is a good person to speak to to find out if it's a good fit?)
Ukraine (will PM farmom)
Arizona (who is a good person to speak to?)
Antwerp (ditto)
I'm going to go broke from the application fees alone! 
Thank you all for the suggestions!
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
|
amother
OP
|
Tue, Jun 21 2022, 8:24 pm
| amother [ Olive ] wrote: | | Just had an amazing experience with New Haven!! Top notch! If its not too late, I'd recommend this yeshiva. |
It is an amazing Yeshiva! A few of my brothers went there and I've recommended it to a number of people. Just not the most Chassidishe crowd. For this son, that's a very big deal.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
|
amother
Gladiolus
|
Tue, Jun 21 2022, 8:30 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | Okay, so I should also look into:
Chovevei (who is a good person to speak to to find out if it's a good fit?)
Ukraine (will PM farmom)
Arizona (who is a good person to speak to?)
Antwerp (ditto)
I'm going to go broke from the application fees alone!
Thank you all for the suggestions! |
Arizona email azmesivta@gmail.com
Don't apply to any of the yeshivos without explaining that you have applied to many so far and you can't afford to apply to more without having a clear picture if it's a good fit or not, I'm sure they understand
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
|
amother
Chambray
|
Tue, Jun 21 2022, 9:10 pm
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
|
amother
Chambray
|
Wed, Jun 22 2022, 3:29 am
|
I just had a good idea for you OP that I had forgotten about. The Viglers (shliach in flatbush) are opening a new mesivta in Pomona this coming year. Their registration should still be open.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
|
amother
Brickred
|
Wed, Jun 22 2022, 8:29 am
Does your son get bullied?
What do you mean “socially”?
Does it affect him emotionally?
That can make a difference on the school.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
|
amother
OP
|
Wed, Jun 22 2022, 11:48 am
| amother [ Brickred ] wrote: | Does your son get bullied?
What do you mean “socially”?
Does it affect him emotionally?
That can make a difference on the school. |
He does sometimes get bullied. He is slow on picking up social cues. He is a bit quirky. He tends to be more rigid and black and white. Will tolerate uncomfortable situations and not speak up to try and change them or ask for help. Has a mental block against test taking so will leave questions blank even when he knows the answer. Has a hard time opening up when he is upset (he’s gotten in trouble for this in the past, I’ve been teaching him to say that he needs his space and will talk when he has had a chance to calm down.)
Sounds really bad and rough for a school.
But he is not a rule breaker. Not chutzpadik. He is very kind hearted. He has a great memory and learns well. He used to have anger issues and really has worked on himself to stay calm. He wants to learn and improve. Wants to do the right thing. Will listen to advice and try to implement it. Has been doing a lot of things that are very hard for him without complaint.
Will he be a model student? Probably not. But I don’t think he’ll be the liability they are probably imagining.
The things I think his current hanhala may be upset about are usually related to him being bullied and not wanting to tell hanhala about it, so it makes him look very bad. He doesn’t want me to tell them either.
There are many schools that cater to out of the box kids like mine. But they are all for kids at risk. And my son is very much not at risk and would be very uncomfortable in that setting. It is heartbreaking that he would need to drop his Chassidishkeit to have a school that is happy to accept him.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
|
amother
Chambray
|
Wed, Jun 22 2022, 11:57 am
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | He does sometimes get bullied. He is slow on picking up social cues. He is a bit quirky. He tends to be more rigid and black and white. Will tolerate uncomfortable situations and not speak up to try and change them or ask for help. Has a mental block against test taking so will leave questions blank even when he knows the answer. Has a hard time opening up when he is upset (he’s gotten in trouble for this in the past, I’ve been teaching him to say that he needs his space and will talk when he has had a chance to calm down.)
Sounds really bad and rough for a school.
But he is not a rule breaker. Not chutzpadik. He is very kind hearted. He has a great memory and learns well. He used to have anger issues and really has worked on himself to stay calm. He wants to learn and improve. Wants to do the right thing. Will listen to advice and try to implement it. Has been doing a lot of things that are very hard for him without complaint.
Will he be a model student? Probably not. But I don’t think he’ll be the liability they are probably imagining.
The things I think his current hanhala may be upset about are usually related to him being bullied and not wanting to tell hanhala about it, so it makes him look very bad. He doesn’t want me to tell them either.
There are many schools that cater to out of the box kids like mine. But they are all for kids at risk. And my son is very much not at risk and would be very uncomfortable in that setting. It is heartbreaking that he would need to drop his Chassidishkeit to have a school that is happy to accept him. |
Your son is not out of the box. He is a normal 13-14 year old. You would be a surprised how immature this age is. Your son is not a rule breaker or chutzpadik and he is kind. Every mesivta should be saying yes to him.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
1
|
|
Imamother may earn commission when you use our links to make a purchase.
© 2024 Imamother.com - All rights reserved
|  |
 |
|
 |
|
|
