Am I a bad person? money from gemach

amother

Tue, May 03 2022, 2:37 pm

I have a sheva brachos dress gemach
I charge 100$ for 3 dresses tken (all in excellent condition from mezzo, fame, miri)

my husband is unemployed atm. I will not have enough money for food next month bc my paycheck over april was 700$ bc of pesach. I have a medical procedure coming up. my YH is telling me to ask a shaila about using the money from the gemach to pay for therapy and treatment.

my idea when starting this gemach was using the money to purchase more dresses.

am I a terrible person.

amother

Mocha

Tue, May 03 2022, 2:41 pm

you are not a "bad" person!
Its just a sheileh that you should ask your Rav.
He might say of course you should use that money.
He might say use half
You are an amazing person doing such a gemach!

Living Princess

Tue, May 03 2022, 2:43 pm

Definitely ask!
You sound like a wonderful person - having a Gemach is a huge Chessed. When I pay a Gemach to borrow something I don't care what they do with the $, they've already done me a big Chessed when they lent me a dress for $50 so I didn't have to spend way more buying one.

amother

Periwinkle

Tue, May 03 2022, 2:44 pm

It is your gemach.
You can choose to close it or use the funds however you see fit.

If you need the money of course you should use it!

Running a gemach costs money.
Maybe save this chesed project for when you can afford it.

amother

Seablue

Tue, May 03 2022, 2:49 pm

I run a table and chair gemach. I don't charge, but I tell people they can give a donation towards growing the gemach. Bh I can do without that money, but if I need it I would ask to see if I would be able to use it for a personal use.

amother

Tue, May 03 2022, 4:25 pm

ty for helping me feel a little better.
my husband doesnt want to ask a shaila. but I want to, bc the money could really pay for about 4 therapy sessions.

how would I even word the shaila to the rav?
were not even giving maaser atm Sad

sunflower_seed

Tue, May 03 2022, 4:36 pm

I cannot think that you cant use it.
I imagine you wash or otherwise clean or maintain the dresses.
For sure you can borrow and then put back when more money comes in iyH.

Are you able to ask a shaila over the phone maybe, or by whatsapp?

amother

Tue, May 03 2022, 4:38 pm

sunflower_seed wrote:

they're mostly new, I dont need to clean.
and when I do need to get one cleaned, theres a frum laundry mat by me that washes it for free as a contribution to gemach.
I dont have so many customers, maybe 4 a month...
its not so much work. thats why I feel bad reading comments like "gemach is hard work"- its time consuming bc each appt is about an hour, and my husband stays in our room...but I wouldn say its hard work. I send out a monthly email to community to donate nice dresses and thats about it

hodeez

Tue, May 03 2022, 4:38 pm

If I were giving the money for the dress I would be happy to know that that money would help the owner buy her groceries.

sunflower_seed

Tue, May 03 2022, 4:52 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

From what I have learnt before you would be allowed to use it.
You do a service to people to your community.
Ask a shaila for peace of mind and use it in good health.

amother

Goldenrod

Tue, May 03 2022, 4:55 pm

Definitely a shailah for a rav.
But a bad person? Definitely not!
(I can't imagine anyone running a gemach to be a bad person! But even if this wasn't gemach related, an issue like this doesn't make you bad!)

amother

Forsythia

Tue, May 03 2022, 5:07 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Exactly as you worded in the opening post. You can read it straight from there. Why don't you just call the Beis Horah (Lakewood or Brooklyn) and ask whoever picks up the phone? I've done that a few times.

amother

Tue, May 03 2022, 7:20 pm

amother [ Forsythia ] wrote:

I feel like thats "cheating"
our rav knows that we struggle financially and he told me to pause on giving maaser for now
is it bad if I call the bais horaah instead? im so embarassed. I feel like a thief

amother

Goldenrod

Tue, May 03 2022, 9:50 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Chas veshalom!
If you were calling a specific Rav to get a specific answer, maybe you can call that "cheating".
But calling anonymously because you're uncomfortable is not.
Of course it's always better to ask your own Rav. Are you able to call your own Rav anonymously? Like from a cell phone number he wouldn't know, and just ask as a general question? I don't think it's bad if you call the bais horaah, but I also think it's a very valid question to ask your own Rav, and he won't think bad of you!

amother

Tue, May 03 2022, 11:49 pm

amother [ Goldenrod ] wrote:

he knows my voice and he knows about the gemach
going to ask dh tom what he thinks.
maybe ill have him call :/

amother

Goldenrod

Wed, May 04 2022, 12:25 am

amother [ Goldenrod ] wrote:

I don't think it's bad if you call the bais horaah, but I also think it's a very valid question to ask your own Rav, and he won't think bad of you!

Goldie613

Wed, May 04 2022, 2:19 am

Not a terrible person, just struggling like many do.

I hope you have a refuah shelaima IM"H and things get better for you soon Hug

amother

Orange

Wed, May 04 2022, 2:32 am

Can someone explain to me what the issue could be here? A gemach is a service to the community, the costs are lower than retail costs - that's the point of it, not that you don't keep ANY money for yourself. No-one is giving money to the gemach as tzedaka - your time and efforts in running it is more than enough to deserve keeping the money to begin with - unless maybe you explicitly say that all proceeds go towards acquiring new dresses - but if you never said that, the money is yours.

amother

Wed, May 04 2022, 9:52 am

amother [ Orange ] wrote:

its a new gemach I only have 500$ so far so the 5 women that came and asked what the money was for I said for upkeep of gemach or for purchasing new pieces. now I feel like a liar if I use the money for therapy on myself.

amother

Lavender

Wed, May 04 2022, 9:56 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

It may the the status of tzedaka money. If so you may not be able to unilaterally repurpose it. However, you may be able to elect to take a salary for running with the math going forward. Consult a Rav.