Shabbos is too hard for me

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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Shabbos, Rosh Chodesh, Fast Days, and other Days of Note

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amother

Sun, May 08 2022, 6:49 am

I don't know if I can keep it forever.
Not looking for advice...just venting.

imasinger

Sun, May 08 2022, 6:56 am

Not gonna give advice now.

Just kudos for doing something that's been so hard for you, and a bracha that your life should get easier.

amother

Midnight

Sun, May 08 2022, 6:58 am

I know you didn't want advice, but I've only just learnt this myself so I am keen to share.

This week you only have to keep Shabbat once. That's all the strength you have for this week. So that is all you have to concentrate on for now.

In the future you will have extra strength to keep the shabbatot of the future. You don't actually have that strength now, because you don't need it yet. So just chill.

This principle can be applied to all future worries and concerns, and I have found it to be extremely helpful.

amother

Brickred

Sun, May 08 2022, 7:35 am

Which part is hard for you in particular? I’ve been there, so no judgment.

amother

Starflower

Sun, May 08 2022, 9:55 am

I find that when I’m lonely, everything in life is very hard. Shabbos is long and I’m usually very lonely on shabbos….
I’m not in a place where I’m ready to give up shabbos but I think I understand a little.

amother

Sun, May 08 2022, 1:00 pm

Thank you for your kind replies.

All of it is hard for me. The many long hours during which I can't distract myself, and can't do anything to help myself feel better

amother

Viola

Sun, May 08 2022, 1:15 pm

amother [ Starflower ] wrote:

I too find Shabbos very hard, especially in the longer summer days when it ends so late but I wouldn’t even consider not keeping it. I just have a hard time getting through the many long, of5en lonely, boring hours that don’t seem to end. How much can you read? And yes, even when I go for a walk or have a visit with a friend, it still leaves a lot of hours with nothing to do..l

imasinger

Sun, May 08 2022, 1:30 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Thank you for your kind replies.

All of it is hard for me. The many long hours during which I can't distract myself, and can't do anything to help myself feel better

What do you do to help yourself feel better during the week?

amother

Caramel

Sun, May 08 2022, 1:33 pm

I so feel you sister! I have a newborn baby. I am so lonely on shabbos. I don’t have many friends or relatives close by. If my husband leaves to shul I literally count the scratches on the wall. It’s so difficult and I feel so alone and not many will understand !!! Sending you a virtual hug! I never watch movies but somehow a long shabbos afternoon would have been so ideal… shhhh…. Not there but so struggling

chanchy123

Sun, May 08 2022, 1:39 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Thank you for your kind replies.

All of it is hard for me. The many long hours during which I can't distract myself, and can't do anything to help myself feel better

That’s sounds so hard. Do you live alone? What does a typical Shabbat look like for you?

PinkFridge

Sun, May 08 2022, 3:41 pm

Rabbi Uri Zohar, shlita, says that when he started keeping Shabbos it was so difficult he slept through most of it.
No one wants to stay at that point but the point is, every moment you're NOT being mechallel Shabbos is amazing. Some people wouldn't read secular books on Shabbos. If that keeps you distracted enough, calm enough to create a pleasant atmosphere for everyone else...I'm not a poseik nor have I ever played one on TV but that's a plan.

amother

Mintgreen

Sun, May 08 2022, 4:30 pm

I gave up.

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Thank you for your kind replies.

All of it is hard for me. The many long hours during which I can't distract myself, and can't do anything to help myself feel better

PinkFridge

Sun, May 08 2022, 4:36 pm

amother [ Mintgreen ] wrote:

I gave up.

You may have lost this battle but you haven't lost the war!

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