Whatever happened to the Good Enough Parent

amother

Thu, May 12 2022, 5:02 pm

This is really a spinoff of a lot of threads. Nursing threads, the surrogate thread, sleep training thread and many more.
Prevailing wisdom is that parents have to try, be willing to be flexible, keep trying and keep learning.
But since when is perfection in parenting Evan an attainable goal.
My favorite line in life "perfection is the enemy of good".
People get frustrated. They'll never be able to attain perfection. We're humans, not malachim.

BrisketBoss

Thu, May 12 2022, 5:05 pm

I'm confused. Are you suggesting that 'keep trying and keep learning' is in conflict with accepting we will never be perfect?

amother

Clear

Thu, May 12 2022, 5:05 pm

I don't get it. Most are preaching things that aren't possible for most of us humans. Or maybe it's sustainable if you don't work, have full time staff, a nanny, cook, butler, maid, chauffeur... At this point I see them as trolls ( in the sense they are there to rile people up ) they can't be serious. I just laugh and continue with regular normal life.

amother

Thu, May 12 2022, 5:10 pm

BrisketBoss wrote:

I'm confused. Are you suggesting that 'keep trying and keep learning' is in conflict with accepting we will never be perfect?

No. I'm saying a "good enough parent" keeps trying and yet knows they won't be perfect.
Giving a formula bottle occasionally or even all the time. Not perfect.
But with some of the hype and yelling that posters come here with, you'd think that a mother who chooses formula is a Bad Mother who should give up parenting now.
Instead of acknowledging that formula may not be the perfect choice but it works for this family. And maybe next time we'll make the "perfect choice".

amother

Mulberry

Thu, May 12 2022, 6:05 pm

I hear you sister! Director

I think many of them are very young without much experience. Before my first I was all into natural birth etc. Haha!

amother

Tulip

Thu, May 12 2022, 6:08 pm

amother [ Mulberry ] wrote:

I hear you sister! Director

I think many of them are very young without much experience. Before my first I was all into natural birth etc. Haha!

I'm not very young, and I only got more natural as I had more hospital births til I finally did a homebirth.

Anyways re this thread topic, it's hard to write very long nuanced posts so it gets abbreviated online and people are maybe shorter or harsher than they would be in an actual dialogue.

amother

Tuberose

Thu, May 12 2022, 7:31 pm

Way too many people nowadays are huge perfectionists. And to them, good enough equals dysfunctional.

amother

Lily

Thu, May 12 2022, 8:25 pm

Yes!!

It really used to do a number on me. Lately I just think "maybe you're an angel but I'm not trying to be one" and move on.

NotInNJMommy

Sun, May 15 2022, 6:40 am

Mixed up priorities. Machmir on details and meikel or oblivious to ikarim. This is pervading a lot of things.

imaima

Sun, May 15 2022, 7:28 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I didn’t realize this discussion was even about formula. Infant feeding is such a tiny issue in comparison to all parenting challenges.