What to buy neighbor that helped me during medical crisis

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Forum -> Relationships -> Giving Gifts

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amother

Fri, May 13 2022, 9:45 am

She picked up my son one day from school, watched him for an hour and half, and a few other afternoons watched him for an hour (probably 3 times total) plus she made supper one night. My husband feels I should get her something, not sure if it’s uncalled for - too much? Like we’re neighbors and that’s what we do

LK1

Fri, May 13 2022, 9:49 am

You could get a fruit / chocolate platter for Shabbos.
Something small showing that you appreciate that she was there for you.

amother

Fri, May 13 2022, 10:12 am

LK1 wrote:

You could get a fruit / chocolate platter for Shabbos.
Something small showing that you appreciate that she was there for you.

That’s smart!
Any good one or 2 lines I can write?

happy chick

Fri, May 13 2022, 10:19 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

That’s smart!
Any good one or 2 lines I can write?

Yes, chocolates or fruit are very nice. You can write "thank you so much for being there when I needed you. It's great to have friends/neighbor to count on".

amother

Jasmine

Fri, May 13 2022, 3:20 pm

I baked some nice cookies and write a card for my fiends and neighbors who helped me post surgery.

ChutzPAh

Sat, May 14 2022, 7:37 pm

Send her a cheesecake for Shavuos with a nice note.

amother

Hydrangea

Sat, May 14 2022, 8:37 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Nope, she didnt have to.
You can write a nice note and get her a cake for this shabbos.

amother

Navyblue

Sat, May 14 2022, 8:53 pm

I'd feel stupid if my neighbors sent me something for watching their child for an hour for 3 afternoons..... that's what neighbors do. Bh us neighbors are always ready to help each other's out. I'd feel really stupid when receiving a gift for such a minor thing.
But if you feel like you should send something, I'd give something small like a pastry with an iced coffee.

Shmoozinator

Tue, May 24 2022, 12:56 pm

amother [ Navyblue ] wrote:

Why would you feel stupid for someone showing their appreciation? Hakaras HaTov is a huge deal in Judaism. No, the neighbor did not have to do anything, she did a wonderful chesed and OP should for sure show her appreciation.
What seems like such a simple thing for you is not simple for others.

OP like others suggested sending a nice food arrangement (dessert tray, fruit, cake) for Shabbos or something special for Shavuos is a really nice gesture. I like what another poster wrote above, short, sweet, appreciative.
Hope you're feeling well!

amother

Magnolia

Tue, May 24 2022, 1:19 pm

amother [ Hydrangea ] wrote:

Nope, she didnt have to.
You can write a nice note and get her a cake for this shabbos.

Of course she didn’t HAVE to. But in normal society friends and neighbors help each other out.

As the one helping out I’d rather not get something as it cheapens our relationship.

As the one who received the help I’d want to give something to show my appreciation.

amother

Black

Tue, May 24 2022, 1:38 pm

Chocolates, fruit, cake, or flowers are all perfect. With a nice note.

amother

Copper

Tue, May 24 2022, 2:05 pm

It is never inappropriate to say / show thanks and appreciation.
I would get fruit/chocolate/pastries… and send a note
Thank you. I appreciate all your help. I am lucky to have you as my neighbor. Have a wonderful Shabbos.

She will tell you it wasn’t necessary but it is much appreciated and your response is that you know but you wanted to.