Hitting | Imamother

amother

Sun, May 15 2022, 3:40 pm

My almost two year old started hitting. She hits me, her sister, herself, the table chairs dolls you name it…. I don’t think she means to hurt, maybe she’s trying to be cute or get attention? Till now I used to make a sad face and say mommy is very sad cuz ur hitting and she quickly went and “made nice” to whoever or whatever she was hitting and then mommy was happy! I’m getting tired of this game since she’ll do it again and again, hitting and making nice repeatedly. Can I just ignore her when she does it? Like today I ignored the hitting and was just happy when she was nice. What’s the best way to deal with it?

amother

Bone

Sun, May 15 2022, 3:48 pm

Stop her. Gently hold her hands and say no hitting. If you need to, also take her out of the room because "if you can't be nice to other people, you have to go out". Rinse and repeat.

amother

Sun, May 15 2022, 3:53 pm

amother [ Bone ] wrote:

Stop her. Gently hold her hands and say no hitting. If you need to, also take her out of the room because "if you can't be nice to other people, you have to go out". Rinse and repeat.

Then she starts giggling and hitting again. If I don’t let her hit the baby she’ll hit herself or the chair. I find the mommy being sad method works better. Does this way have any merits over that?

BrisketBoss

Sun, May 15 2022, 4:03 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

So, it's actually not the best to tell the child they have control over your emotions. You as the mommy have that control.

Block her from hitting and calmly maintain the boundary. You might have to hold her on your lap and physically restrain her for a bit.

You may be right that she's looking for attention. That is one need-deficit that could br causing the behavior.

amother

Sun, May 15 2022, 4:06 pm

BrisketBoss wrote:

Mommy’s can’t be happy and proud when they’re kids behave nicely?

I don’t think there’s need for physical restraint. She’s not violent or hitting strongly. More like being silly. It’s annoying more than anything else. But how do I get her to stop?

BrisketBoss

Sun, May 15 2022, 4:13 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Honestly, she's 2. 'Getting her to' do anything is a tall order. If it's important to you, you must see to it that it happens, which will probably involve getting physical with her in some way.

If a behavior keeps repeating then it is best to find the cause and address that.

amother

Sun, May 15 2022, 4:16 pm

BrisketBoss wrote:

Ok. Getting her to stop might be strong language. More like teaching her that it’s not nice? What happens if I ignore the hitting and don’t acknowledge it?

behappy2

Sun, May 15 2022, 4:22 pm

Maybe play a hitting game with her. Hit the floor, hit the wall, tap her head, hit the pillow... Get it out of her system. It sounds like it's just a fun game to her. Join her!!

amother

Sun, May 15 2022, 4:27 pm

behappy2 wrote:

Maybe play a hitting game with her. Hit the floor, hit the wall, tap her head, hit the pillow... Get it out of her system. It sounds like it's just a fun game to her. Join her!!

Oh. I like that! I’ll try it iyh. Thanks!
But is it ok to do/say dada floor dada chair? Am I encouraging or okaying bad behavior? Or can it be a game?

gootlfriends

Sun, May 15 2022, 5:12 pm

If its a light hitting that doesn't hurt I wouldn't make a big deal. I would just demonstrate behavior you want. That's always my go to response at this age.

amother

Sun, May 15 2022, 5:16 pm

gootlfriends wrote:

If its a light hitting that doesn't hurt I wouldn't make a big deal. I would just demonstrate behavior you want. That's always my go to response at this age.

She’s waiting for a response, that’s why she’s doing it. My question is do I ignore it so she’d sees she’s not getting attention that way or do I show her I don’t like it so she knows its wrong?

And is it very obvious that I’m a first time mother? Wink

behappy2

Sun, May 15 2022, 5:34 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Oh. I like that! I’ll try it iyh. Thanks!
But is it ok to do/say dada floor dada chair? Am I encouraging or okaying bad behavior? Or can it be a game?

I personally wouldn't feel comfortable with that because dada means bad. You can do potchy (like potchy hentalach) or bang bang.

You can also add on a nice nice part. Nice nice hand, nice nice Chant, nice nice Mommy etc ..

amother

DarkKhaki

Sun, May 15 2022, 5:44 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

You KNOW. You're feeding the weed (hitting) and so it's growing. You think that you need our validation to ignore hitting. You don't.

Separately, how about a drum kit?

amother

Sun, May 15 2022, 6:03 pm

amother [ DarkKhaki ] wrote:

You KNOW. You're feeding the weed (hitting) and so it's growing. You think that you need our validation to ignore hitting. You don't.

Separately, how about a drum kit?

Lol. Ye. Maybe a bit. Like I want to make sure it’s the right or a normal thing to do

happytobemom

Sun, May 15 2022, 6:03 pm

She's not even 2 - that's a baby!
I wouldn't make a big deal about it at all. Not with a game, or stopping her, or anything. Ignore if you can, move her hands away from you if it's bothering you, anything that doesn't make a big deal about it.

Last edited by happytobemom on Sun, May 15 2022, 6:07 pm; edited 1 time in total

happytobemom

Sun, May 15 2022, 6:05 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

And is it very obvious that I’m a first time mother? Wink

Yes! And I'm saying that without feeling bad, because there's nothing wrong with it! Every mother starts off as a first timer, and sounds like you're trying to be a good one!
Mazel tov and welcome to the most amazing club of motherhood!

amother

Sun, May 15 2022, 6:06 pm

happytobemom wrote:

She's not even 2 - that's a baby!
I wouldn't make a big deal about it at all. Not with a game, or stopping here, or anything. Ignore if you can, move her hands away from you if it's bothering you, anything that doesn't make a big deal about it.

Makes sense. Im probably overthinking it. Was just getting a bit annoying but it’ll probably pass. Thank you

amother

Sun, May 15 2022, 6:07 pm

happytobemom wrote:

Thank you! That’s very kind of you!

amother

DarkKhaki

Sun, May 15 2022, 6:29 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Lol. Ye. Maybe a bit. Like I want to make sure it’s the right or a normal thing to do

Yep. And TBH there IS a place for that. However always remember. You are the MOM. You KNOW. TRUST YOUR GUT.

amother

Chestnut

Sun, May 15 2022, 7:16 pm

Before my daughter was turning 2, she started hitting. I was shocked bc my other kids never did and I didn’t know how to deal. I started with the “we do nice touch” and did a nice soft touch on her arm, and she’d do the same back. It didn’t totally stop her hitting. Now that she’s a little over 2 and can communicate better, if she hits or kicks me (in moments of frustration like trying to change diaper before bed and she doesn’t want to), I tell her very directly “Mommy doesn’t like to be hit, please do not hit” and it actually works 🤷🏻‍♀️ She’s been doing it less and less. I don’t yell or make a big scene, but I don’t like being hit and that’s a fact lol. So I state it like that and she seems to understand it’s not ok