Maybe there's a simple solution

amother

Mon, May 16 2022, 7:19 am

I wasn't sure to put this in parenting or mental health but either way:
I really would like to have an early morning routine. When I am pregnant or have a baby this proves pretty difficult but my baby is a bit older and I'd really like to get back to it.
The challenge is that some of my kids wake up when they hear me up and then they start "needing" me. I don't have an on suite bathroom, so I need to go out my room to start my day and by that point I usually come out to action.
If they were older kids, or only older kids I could tell them the time and that it's Mommys morning time. The problem is that I also have a toddler, who does not understand this at all and once she's up and hears people, she just cries and I am uncomfortable leaving a toddler calling for her mommy in the morning, just because I want some time for myself.
I can't seem to figure this out. In my mind this time is my space and quiet for my own morning routine things, but if my kids are up too, it kind of defeats the purpose. Any idea how to reconcile any of this?

salt

Mon, May 16 2022, 7:42 am

What does the toddler need from you when she hears you up?
Can you give her something to eat, a bottle, a toy, a book, and sit her down while you get on with what you need to do?

PSmommy

Mon, May 16 2022, 7:42 am

I'm in your situation word for word.
It's such a challenge.
And getting up even earlier doesn't work because she will wake up anyway. I know because some mornings I need to leave the house 2 hours earlier than usual and she wakes up then too. It's so hard!

amother

Mon, May 16 2022, 8:06 am

amother [ Latte ] wrote:

Get up half an hour even earlier and hopefully that’ll be early enough that they’ll just roll over if they hear noise. It’s worth a try!

It doesn't seem to matter. I'm getting up at 5/5:30. I'm not getting up earlier than that without throwing off my day.

amother

Mon, May 16 2022, 8:10 am

salt wrote:

What does the toddler need from you when she hears you up?
Can you give her something to eat, a bottle, a toy, a book, and sit her down while you get on with what you need to do?

I need to (or want to) be upstairs in my room or bathroom doing my thing. I can sort of ignore her if she has things in her crib but it doesn't last long. The problem is the older kids walking around or banging on my door, all that action and shes not staying in her room. To get up with everyone at 5:30 is just pointless, I'm just starting to parent earlier with no real reason to other than the fact that they are up. The point is to have alone time as myself before I mommy. If I'm getting up with the kids, I might as well stay sleeping.

teachkids

Mon, May 16 2022, 8:17 am

Bribery? Anyone who's quiet/ doesn't bother mommy until 6 (or 6:30 if you're ambitious) gets a treat with breakfast?

Quiet screentime and breakfast downstairs for early risers?

amother

Mon, May 16 2022, 8:35 am

teachkids wrote:

Could you steal a half hour for yourself once their out the door before you leave for work?

I have the toddler with me but it's really not the me time I'm referring to. Time to exercise, shower, get dressed, makeup, daven, journal. When I start my day like that my day is really much better but I'm struggling with making this happen.

amother

DarkViolet

Mon, May 16 2022, 9:58 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I think you have to accept that you have kids and you cant do all that if you say they are waking up from you.

wow, I would never be able to do half of this. Its a miracle whenever my toddler sleeps later but then I'll hear her crying for me 15 minutes later..

I can only do what I can do together with her..exercise they can play and watch..getting makeup. Lunches, annoying to have a little tagalong but do able if its early enough..

mha3484

Mon, May 16 2022, 10:44 am

Half the time my kids once given a drink and some breakfast will go play with toys until its time to get ready for the day. The other half is when I let them have screen time.

amother

Snow

Mon, May 16 2022, 10:45 am

PSmommy wrote:

I'm in the same situation...... been going on for 19 years. I always have at least one little in this place. My house is small. They hear me getting up.

salt

Tue, May 17 2022, 12:59 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Do you time in the evenings when your kids are in bed?
At least some of that can be done then - exercise shower and journal.

If not, I think you just have to come to terms with that being just part of having kids.
Get a babysitter once a week and go out and exercise. Does your toddler nap during the day. Can you do some of this stuff when she's sleeping?

amother

Mulberry

Tue, May 17 2022, 1:15 am

Blackout curtains in kids' rooms so they are still in "night mode"?

White noise machines in kids' rooms so that your sounds of getting up are not as obvious?

Use a vibrating alarm instead of noisy so it won't wake up any kids?

Is there a further bathroom from your room that you can tiptoe to so that you are not right near the bedrooms?

Can DH be on duty in the mornings until you are finished your morning routine?

Will it help to keep kids rooms closed at night so they don't hear or see you as easily in the mornings?

Can you also begin a morning routine for the toddler that starts with them being in bed so they get used to not starting their day until Mommy comes into the room?

amother

Midnight

Tue, May 17 2022, 3:49 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I get my kids out the door while I'm in PJs and do all this after they leave, but it sounds like that's not what you're looking for

amother

SandyBrown

Tue, May 17 2022, 5:52 am

I hear you Op!
Try those color coded lights that let the child know s/he can come out when its green. You can set it as 6 or 7...but important to reinforce that daytime begins no earlier than 6:00 or 6:30 whatever works for you/them.
Rewards for every time they stay in bed and/or their room until the green light.
You are defining the night for them. And taking charge of your schedule.
Good training.
hugs and hatzlocha

amother

Daylily

Tue, May 17 2022, 6:23 am

OP I hear you. I don't have time for all that you describe but I need 20-25 min to use the bathroom by myself, brush teeth, get dressed for work, etc. I have a much calmer morning when I'm able to do this. My kids hear me in the bathroom and wake, so I sneak downstairs as quietly as I can and get ready in the downstairs bedroom. I keep an extra toothbrush, hairbrush, bring my clothes down the night before, have everything I need down there. Then I go in the kitchen and do a few things in there and I don't mind if I'm heard. When they get up I'm in a better free frame of mind.