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Poll- S/O of all these food delivery threads.
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Have these stories and threads made you:
Up your game for delivering meals-better food, more plentiful, more timely, better delivery service  
 5%  [ 9 ]
Not bothering to sign up anymore. It is expensive, takes up my time, takes me away from my children… and it won’t be good enough anyway so why bother.  
 12%  [ 21 ]
Never made meals for others anyway.  
 22%  [ 38 ]
Other-see below  
 4%  [ 7 ]
Keep doing what I've been doing.  
 56%  [ 96 ]
Total Votes : 171



amother




OP
 

Post Wed, May 18 2022, 9:39 am
Just wondering about people’s reactions and take aways.
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Iymnok




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, May 18 2022, 9:43 am
I will make sure that if I make a meal, it is complete and delivered on time.
But this has only made me more aware. I am not actually changing much.
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amother




Indigo
 

Post Wed, May 18 2022, 10:09 am
No change.
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amother




Mustard
 

Post Wed, May 18 2022, 10:11 am
Only for good friends and family.
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amother




Iris
 

Post Wed, May 18 2022, 10:28 am
When I send a meal, I do it because I want to help out, and not because I want to show off. I do it for them, not for me. I keep it simple & hearty and most importantly, make sure it's there on time.
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SuperWify




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, May 18 2022, 10:31 am
No changes for me. I never got anything other than appreciation. I sometimes read these threads and wonder if the stories are true.

I only make for friends and families, I ask for food presences and I deliver to the door. I do not make for strangers.
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watergirl




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, May 18 2022, 10:33 am
I selected other, then remembered I'm a mod, so I added an option for "keep doing what I've been doing".
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amother




NeonOrange
 

Post Wed, May 18 2022, 11:30 am
It emphasized the need to ask "is there anything I should know about delivery- timing or anything else?" (Kind of like how I ask doctors offices if there's anything I need to know about arrival and parking.)
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amother




Kiwi
 

Post Wed, May 18 2022, 11:45 am
I rarely make meals for anyone because it is a really hard thing for me to do.

When I do, I have become more aware of all the pieces and parts that people appreciate because of these threads.

And unfortunately all those pieces and parts make it even harder for me to do. So I really rarely do- only close family or friends.

I guess it is good to do it right if I am doing it at all.
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amother




Cognac
 

Post Wed, May 18 2022, 11:58 am
I mainly do it for friends. But it did make me think about skipping ones where parking is a problem because I have parking anxiety. I would probably wait and see if it filled up and only sign up at the end if needed if I had to park several blocks away or something and go upstairs.
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Bnei Berak 10




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, May 18 2022, 1:23 pm
It's sad that a thing which is a chessed unfortunately turns into a heated and nasty discussion.
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amother




Aqua
 

Post Wed, May 18 2022, 1:40 pm
I never made meals for others and I never took meals from others. I’m going to keep it that way Smile Very close family only, and these things are a non issue with them.
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amother




Springgreen
 

Post Wed, May 18 2022, 2:03 pm
I will continue making meals for others when I can.
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amother




Marigold
 

Post Wed, May 18 2022, 7:13 pm
I did other. But was tempted to choose "not sending" but I wasn't sure. Not currently able to make due to life circumstances and work commitments. But will probably be pickier about who I choose to send to.

It does make me stop and think about all those baby meals and other meals (sick individuals etc) I have sent over the years. Did they judge me? Were they critical of what I sent? Did I send too few sides, not enough courses? Did they think I was nebby? Did they think that I thought badly of them?

I make more for a baby meal than I do for my own family for dinner but I still dont do what these posters expect or think "basic". I always send a few extra portions but I dont do 4 courses. I dont do dessert each time. I dont understand the entitlement and the expectations. The "every mom needs XYZ" mentality.

I will continue to send to close friends etc. But will avoid the judgy, entitled crowd. Just give to those who know me and what I will do. I dont need extra stress and if what I do isnt enough and will get complaints I dont need it in my life. If they are that picky, entitled, and spoiled--- seriously. You had 9 months to prepare. Make your own plans or meals in advance. Don't criticize what I am doing to try to help.
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amother




Moonstone
 

Post Wed, May 18 2022, 7:24 pm
I send suppers foe an organization that sends to families with sick ppl. When I send to them I send a full 6 course meal, so when I send to a friend or family member that had a baby I coordinate to send the same night and just make a double supper.
However, my kids don't eat the main dish if they eat the soup and appetizer, so no I don't cook like that for my kids and I appreciated the small simple dinners when I got that on the meal train.
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essie14




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, May 19 2022, 3:56 am
We use mealtrain so everything is always detailed in the website -- allergies, preferences, number of people, etc.
So before you sign up you know what you're getting into. I'm a pretty flexible cook so I can usually accommodate the preferences, but if not, I don't sign up.
In my community everyone has parking so that's never an issue.
I don't send anything fancy , no appetizers or soup, and I always get rave reviews, so I voted "keep doing what I'm doing".
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amother




Geranium
 

Post Thu, May 19 2022, 9:18 am
amother [ Marigold ] wrote:


I will continue to send to close friends etc. But will avoid the judgy, entitled crowd. Just give to those who know me and what I will do. I dont need extra stress and if what I do isnt enough and will get complaints I dont need it in my life. If they are that picky, entitled, and spoiled--- seriously. You had 9 months to prepare. Make your own plans or meals in advance. Don't criticize what I am doing to try to help.

Thumbs Up
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zaq




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, May 19 2022, 9:34 am
amother [ Kiwi ] wrote:
I rarely make meals for anyone because it is a really hard thing for me to do.

.


Chessed is what I'd call a "performance-based" mitzvah, meaning that we don't have specs on how to do it. It's not like, say, arba minim, with instructions about the number, shape, configuration, etc. of each component. You are free to choose the form that your chessed will take. If you're a terrible cook, cooking for others may not be an ideal activity for you. Someone I know who cheerfully admits to being a terrible cook but still wants to participate in meal trains orders food from a local takeout place and has it delivered. Costly, but she'd rather do that than cook.

Even if you're a good cook but hate cooking, you may be reluctant to do this chessed. No problem, there are infinite different ways you can help. Do what you do best or like to do most. Go shopping for the new mom, wash and fold her laundry, take her kids out for a walk, pick up something she needs from the pharmacy or the bakery, whatever. There are many things a new mom would appreciate not having to do herself or rely on her dh to do.

Granted, such favors aren't as well-organized as meal trains, and many moms may not be comfortable having strangers do them, but it's worth offering. And if you can't do any of these, you can always donate money to an organization that does. While doing is better than not doing, chessed is ideally done with a whole heart, not out of a sense of obligation and resentment.
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zaq




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, May 19 2022, 9:35 am
amother [ Kiwi ] wrote:
I rarely make meals for anyone because it is a really hard thing for me to do.

.


Chessed is what I'd call a "performance-based" mitzvah, meaning that we don't have specs on how to do it. It's not like, say, arba minim, with instructions about the number, shape, configuration, etc. of each component. You are free to choose the form that your chessed will take. If you're a terrible cook, cooking for others may not be an ideal activity for you. Someone I know who cheerfully admits to being a terrible cook but still wants to participate in meal trains orders food from a local takeout place and has it delivered. Costly, but she'd rather do that than cook.

Even if you're a good cook but hate cooking, you may be reluctant to do this chessed. No problem, there are infinite different ways you can help. Do what you do best or like to do most. Go shopping for the new mom, wash and fold her laundry, take her kids out for a walk, pick up something she needs from the pharmacy or the bakery, whatever. There are many things a new mom would appreciate not having to do herself or rely on her dh to do.

Granted, such favors aren't as well-organized as meal trains, and many moms may not be comfortable having strangers do them, but it's worth offering. And if you can't do any of these, you can always donate money to an organization that does. While doing is better than not doing, chessed is ideally done with a whole heart, not out of a sense of obligation and resentment.
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amother




Kiwi
 

Post Thu, May 19 2022, 9:39 am
zaq wrote:
Chessed is what I'd call a "performance-based" mitzvah, meaning that we don't have specs on how to do it. It's not like, say, arba minim, with instructions about the number, shape, configuration, etc. of each component. You are free to choose the form that your chessed will take. If you're a terrible cook, cooking for others may not be an ideal activity for you. Someone I know who cheerfully admits to being a terrible cook but still wants to participate in meal trains orders food from a local takeout place and has it delivered. Costly, but she'd rather do that than cook.

Even if you're a good cook but hate cooking, you may be reluctant to do this chessed. No problem, there are infinite different ways you can help. Do what you do best or like to do most. Go shopping for the new mom, wash and fold her laundry, take her kids out for a walk, pick up something she needs from the pharmacy or the bakery, whatever. There are many things a new mom would appreciate not having to do herself or rely on her dh to do.

Granted, such favors aren't as well-organized as meal trains, and many moms may not be comfortable having strangers do them, but it's worth offering. And if you can't do any of these, you can always donate money to an organization that does. While doing is better than not doing, chessed is ideally done with a whole heart, not out of a sense of obligation and resentment.


I really like your post. And it's funny because I am a good cook and I do like cooking but being prepared with ingredients, actually making the meal, delivering it earlier than I serve supper..... all the components make it very stressful for me.

And your other chesed ideas- they are nice ideas. They just require time and/or money and I don't have much of either one. I'm sure I'm not the only one who is constantly treading water to survive.
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