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Have these stories and threads made you:
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| Up your game for delivering meals-better food, more plentiful, more timely, better delivery service |
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5% |
[ 9 ] |
| Not bothering to sign up anymore. It is expensive, takes up my time, takes me away from my children… and it won’t be good enough anyway so why bother. |
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12% |
[ 21 ] |
| Never made meals for others anyway. |
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22% |
[ 38 ] |
| Other-see below |
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4% |
[ 7 ] |
| Keep doing what I've been doing. |
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56% |
[ 96 ] |
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| Total Votes : 171 |
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Iymnok
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 Wed, May 18 2022, 12:43 pm
I will make sure that if I make a meal, it is complete and delivered on time.
But this has only made me more aware. I am not actually changing much.
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6 
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SuperWify
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Wed, May 18 2022, 1:31 pm
No changes for me. I never got anything other than appreciation. I sometimes read these threads and wonder if the stories are true.
I only make for friends and families, I ask for food presences and I deliver to the door. I do not make for strangers.
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6
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watergirl
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Wed, May 18 2022, 1:33 pm
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I selected other, then remembered I'm a mod, so I added an option for "keep doing what I've been doing".
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14
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Bnei Berak 10
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Wed, May 18 2022, 4:23 pm
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It's sad that a thing which is a chessed unfortunately turns into a heated and nasty discussion.
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essie14
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Thu, May 19 2022, 6:56 am
We use mealtrain so everything is always detailed in the website -- allergies, preferences, number of people, etc.
So before you sign up you know what you're getting into. I'm a pretty flexible cook so I can usually accommodate the preferences, but if not, I don't sign up.
In my community everyone has parking so that's never an issue.
I don't send anything fancy , no appetizers or soup, and I always get rave reviews, so I voted "keep doing what I'm doing".
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zaq
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Thu, May 19 2022, 12:34 pm
| amother [ Kiwi ] wrote: | I rarely make meals for anyone because it is a really hard thing for me to do.
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Chessed is what I'd call a "performance-based" mitzvah, meaning that we don't have specs on how to do it. It's not like, say, arba minim, with instructions about the number, shape, configuration, etc. of each component. You are free to choose the form that your chessed will take. If you're a terrible cook, cooking for others may not be an ideal activity for you. Someone I know who cheerfully admits to being a terrible cook but still wants to participate in meal trains orders food from a local takeout place and has it delivered. Costly, but she'd rather do that than cook.
Even if you're a good cook but hate cooking, you may be reluctant to do this chessed. No problem, there are infinite different ways you can help. Do what you do best or like to do most. Go shopping for the new mom, wash and fold her laundry, take her kids out for a walk, pick up something she needs from the pharmacy or the bakery, whatever. There are many things a new mom would appreciate not having to do herself or rely on her dh to do.
Granted, such favors aren't as well-organized as meal trains, and many moms may not be comfortable having strangers do them, but it's worth offering. And if you can't do any of these, you can always donate money to an organization that does. While doing is better than not doing, chessed is ideally done with a whole heart, not out of a sense of obligation and resentment.
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zaq
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Thu, May 19 2022, 12:35 pm
| amother [ Kiwi ] wrote: | I rarely make meals for anyone because it is a really hard thing for me to do.
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Chessed is what I'd call a "performance-based" mitzvah, meaning that we don't have specs on how to do it. It's not like, say, arba minim, with instructions about the number, shape, configuration, etc. of each component. You are free to choose the form that your chessed will take. If you're a terrible cook, cooking for others may not be an ideal activity for you. Someone I know who cheerfully admits to being a terrible cook but still wants to participate in meal trains orders food from a local takeout place and has it delivered. Costly, but she'd rather do that than cook.
Even if you're a good cook but hate cooking, you may be reluctant to do this chessed. No problem, there are infinite different ways you can help. Do what you do best or like to do most. Go shopping for the new mom, wash and fold her laundry, take her kids out for a walk, pick up something she needs from the pharmacy or the bakery, whatever. There are many things a new mom would appreciate not having to do herself or rely on her dh to do.
Granted, such favors aren't as well-organized as meal trains, and many moms may not be comfortable having strangers do them, but it's worth offering. And if you can't do any of these, you can always donate money to an organization that does. While doing is better than not doing, chessed is ideally done with a whole heart, not out of a sense of obligation and resentment.
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amother
Kiwi
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Thu, May 19 2022, 12:39 pm
| zaq wrote: | Chessed is what I'd call a "performance-based" mitzvah, meaning that we don't have specs on how to do it. It's not like, say, arba minim, with instructions about the number, shape, configuration, etc. of each component. You are free to choose the form that your chessed will take. If you're a terrible cook, cooking for others may not be an ideal activity for you. Someone I know who cheerfully admits to being a terrible cook but still wants to participate in meal trains orders food from a local takeout place and has it delivered. Costly, but she'd rather do that than cook.
Even if you're a good cook but hate cooking, you may be reluctant to do this chessed. No problem, there are infinite different ways you can help. Do what you do best or like to do most. Go shopping for the new mom, wash and fold her laundry, take her kids out for a walk, pick up something she needs from the pharmacy or the bakery, whatever. There are many things a new mom would appreciate not having to do herself or rely on her dh to do.
Granted, such favors aren't as well-organized as meal trains, and many moms may not be comfortable having strangers do them, but it's worth offering. And if you can't do any of these, you can always donate money to an organization that does. While doing is better than not doing, chessed is ideally done with a whole heart, not out of a sense of obligation and resentment. |
I really like your post. And it's funny because I am a good cook and I do like cooking but being prepared with ingredients, actually making the meal, delivering it earlier than I serve supper..... all the components make it very stressful for me.
And your other chesed ideas- they are nice ideas. They just require time and/or money and I don't have much of either one. I'm sure I'm not the only one who is constantly treading water to survive.
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