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Toddler bedtime advice needed

 
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amother




OP
 

Post Wed, May 18 2022, 9:11 pm
My daughter just turned three. She has been sleeping in a toddler bed for six months. Every night she wants me to sit next to her after I say goodnight until she falls asleep. Some nights this takes 15 minutes, some nights an hour or more.

If I leave she follows me out of her bed wherever I go. If I go to fold laundry, she’s there. If I go to take a shower, she’s there.

I am at my wits end. I have things to do and I cannot sit here wasting my time waiting for her to fall asleep every night. I have to clean up and catch up on the laundry and take a shower and pack my kids briefcases for tomorrow. And she needs her sleep for gods sake.

Please give me practical tips how to get her to stay in her bed and GO TO SLEEP.
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amother




Marigold
 

Post Wed, May 18 2022, 9:17 pm
Make a chart with an incentive maybe?
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amother




OP
 

Post Wed, May 18 2022, 9:19 pm
amother [ Marigold ] wrote:
Make a chart with an incentive maybe?


She doesn’t chap charts. Too little.
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challahchallah




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, May 18 2022, 9:20 pm
I’ve had success with check ins. I tell my toddler that if they stay in bed quietly, I’ll come back and check in. When I check in, I just quickly say I love you, give a little shoulder pat and leave. I space the check in further and further apart. At first just 30 seconds or a minute, then when they get the system it’s more like 5, 10, 20 minutes. When they’re quietly waiting in bed, they eventually fall asleep.
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amother




DarkGreen
 

Post Wed, May 18 2022, 9:22 pm
It doesn't have to be a chart. You can explain that you'll sit with her for five minutes and then you need to take care of cleaning up. If she stays in her bed and goes to sleep nicely without calling you or coming out (make sure to alsovexplain when it's ok and important to come out or call you) she will get something special in the morning. Do this for a few weeks or as long as she needs until it becomes a real habit.
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amother




NeonGreen
 

Post Wed, May 18 2022, 9:27 pm
I have a similar situation my almost 3 year old goes to sleep nicely but then he wakes up almost every 2 hours I need to go to him and keep his door open but then he runs out
The only way he will sleep is in either my bed or my husband's
Charts or prizes would not work
I would take any advice too
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amother




Red
 

Post Wed, May 18 2022, 9:27 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
She doesn’t chap charts. Too little.

3 shouldn't be too young for a chart.
Buy a prize and put it in her room where she can see it. Then hang a chart near her bed and show her as you check off boxes.
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yiddishmom




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, May 18 2022, 9:29 pm
challahchallah wrote:
I’ve had success with check ins. I tell my toddler that if they stay in bed quietly, I’ll come back and check in. When I check in, I just quickly say I love you, give a little shoulder pat and leave. I space the check in further and further apart. At first just 30 seconds or a minute, then when they get the system it’s more like 5, 10, 20 minutes. When they’re quietly waiting in bed, they eventually fall asleep.


I did this.

"I need to text Totty to ask when he is coming home, and will be right back"

"I'm going to turn on the washing machine, and will be right back"

"I'm going to use thr bathroom for a min"

At some point he falls asleep while waiting. But I also go back, even if I know that he is sleeping, to give him a good night kiss. I don't want to be lying to my child.
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amother




OP
 

Post Wed, May 18 2022, 10:06 pm
Thank you for the advice! Gonna try some of these. Really thank you so much… hoping to get my nights back…
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amother




Petunia
 

Post Wed, May 18 2022, 11:22 pm
My almost 3 year old is still in a crib (with a sleepsack so he can't climb out ) but what I've heard people doing with their toddlers is bedtime tickets. They get 1 or 2 tickets at bedtime that allow them to come out, to get a hug or a drink or use the bathroom. Each time they come out they give you a ticket. After that, no more coming out. Talk about it a lot during the day so they understand and implement at bedtime. If they come out without a ticket ignore them and walk them back to their bed. If they can't stay in bed then it's not safe for them to wander the house at night and they may need a baby gate at their door/end of the hallway.
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the world's best mom




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, May 18 2022, 11:49 pm
You can fold the laundry in her room while she goes to sleep.
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