Son is so sad about glasses

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children

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amother

Thu, May 19 2022, 12:48 am

My son just turned ten, has an eye doctor appt. coming up. Failed his routine eye test at his last well visit. Probably regular near-sightedness, like my husband and older son. My older son got glasses at about 8 years old and was very excited about it. My now 10 year old is so so sad about the prospect of getting glasses. He is a happy, confident kind of boy, has lots of friends, and a nice number of boys in his class have glasses also. But every time it comes up, he just looks so sad, makes simple comments like "I don't want glasses" and moves on in the conversation in a sad, resigned way. What can I do to make him feel better about it?

Goldie613

Thu, May 19 2022, 12:56 am

Some quick things you can try -

1 - remind him there's no point worrying about it until you know for sure what he needs. If you'd rather be more realistic, you can simply add that it's likely he'll need it, but again, no point worrying about it yet.

2 - Are you willing to let him pick his own glasses? Even if you have a price point you want to stay below, he may still have quite a few options, depending on where you shop. You can let him know that he'll get to pick the color, style, etc, that he likes, that he doesn't have to pick a duplicate of what his dad and brother wear.

3 - Maybe if he sees it on himself, he'll see it doesn't look as bad as he fears. Can he try on your older son's frames for a minute? Alternately, they make apps (and some companies have them too) where you can "try" on the glasses online, so you'll see what you would look like in them.

4 - Remind him this is temporary. If he really hates wearing glasses, he can get contacts when he's older.

Hope this helps - good luck to you and your son

Hug

DrMom

Thu, May 19 2022, 2:42 am

Maybe you can make it into a "this is what boys in our family do when they reach a certain age and you are growing up!" occasion and have your DH go with him to pick out frames.

Are there any other role models he admires who wear glasses?

amother

Magnolia

Thu, May 19 2022, 2:49 am

There are lenses for kids, though they are very expensive. Did your dr discuss that with you?

amother

Garnet

Thu, May 19 2022, 3:12 am

Can he explain why he is upset about it?
The look?
Issues with sports? (You can get sports frames as a second pair so he can do that without worry)
Being teased?
Or something else?

myname1

Thu, May 19 2022, 4:12 am

I got glasses at 11 and contact lenses at 12. They said I was young but I was responsible and wanted them badly enough that it worked out fine. Maybe that will make him feel better.

Also, B"H this is something with an easy fix. Doesn't need surgery or anything, is really very normal, and just sits there not bothering almost the whole time.

salt

Thu, May 19 2022, 4:16 am

He might find that his vision improves so much when he puts them on, that he'll be happy in the end.

He can wear them at home at first for the first few days to get used to the look. If his number is low, he doesn't even need to wear them the whole time.

When my kids first put on their first pair of glasses (also all at about that age) they were is such amazement at how it changed their vision - they absolutely loved it!
Sometimes a kid doesn't realize he's seeing blurry until he puts on the glasses and all of a sudden everything looks clean and sharp!

amother

Dahlia

Thu, May 19 2022, 6:18 am

Salt, this was me. The first time I wore glasses was one of the most amazing experiences of my entire life. It transforms the whole world.

amother

Denim

Thu, May 19 2022, 6:20 am

amother [ Dahlia ] wrote:

Salt, this was me. The first time I wore glasses was one of the most amazing experiences of my entire life. It transforms the whole world.

Me too. I was in second grade and couldnt believe all the things I hadn't been able to see.

evi

Sun, May 22 2022, 10:09 pm

He sounds like he might be responsible enough and motivated enough for contact lenses. I hate glasses too. Just make sure he never leaves them in, disinfects properly, and has them off for the specified amount of time.