How to get others to take my babies allergy seriously

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Forum -> Children's Health -> Allergies

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amother

Sat, May 21 2022, 10:59 pm

We have not introduced solids to my baby yet. He just turned 6 months. We did allergy testing as he had bad eczema and he is allergic to several foods. The allergist warned is that this was only basic testing and it’s possible he’s allergic to other things as well and we need to be very careful when introducing foods. I told this to family members and yet I had to literally stop my father in law from offering a lick of chocolate to my baby (he’s allergic to nuts) and later in the day he stuck a finger into the babies mouth without washing it first. This was in the middle of a meal and he had consumed foods that the baby is allergic to. He was like it’s just a lick and not going to hurt him and I was like he’s allergic! Yes he never had a allergic reaction so I don’t know yet if it’s severe but I don’t want to come to that point. My husband has no experience with allergies so he’s not really a help at all. I have seen allergic reactions and I’m just freaking out. I don’t feel safe leaving him with any adults now in that house and my husband wants to go for Shabbos (it is his his family after all and they are otherwise nice people). How can I get adults to understand how severe allergies are?

amother

Oxfordblue

Sat, May 21 2022, 11:03 pm

I made it clear to everyone that nothing goes into baby's mouth unless I give it.
We explained allergies to my toddler in front of the biggest offenders.
But If they still can't listen, they can't hold baby unsupervised

amother

Sat, May 21 2022, 11:04 pm

amother [ Oxfordblue ] wrote:

I told them they can’t put any foods into his mouth and they didn’t listen because they feel they know better and I’m just being overprotective.

amother

Currant

Sat, May 21 2022, 11:14 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I told them they can’t put any foods into his mouth and they didn’t listen because they feel they know better and I’m just being overprotective.

Have them read this story: https://www.stayathomemum.com......usly/

amother

Mintcream

Sat, May 21 2022, 11:28 pm

Unfortunately no-one will take it as serous as the parent. Just the way it is.

It's really not easy. But you can never let your guard down.

amother

Clear

Sat, May 21 2022, 11:35 pm

Is your allergist willing to write a letter detailing how to deal with feedings? If so, make copies and give them out. Sometimes hearing from a doctor helps. And if not, then they cannot be left with the baby until you've determined what allergies he has and how serious they are.

amother

Ruby

Sun, May 22 2022, 12:03 am

With certain people, it just won’t happen. The sooner you can accept that, the safer your child will be.

amother

Antiquewhite

Sun, May 22 2022, 1:54 am

People either get it or they don’t. If they don’t get it, you just can’t leave your baby with them around food. Even if it’s a grandparent. A parent in the other hand needs to be educated on the dangers and get up to speed.

amother

Eggplant

Sun, May 22 2022, 3:31 am

Tell them it’s doctors orders.
Prioritize your child.
If they can’t respect it then I wouldn’t go if I really thought they’d feed him allergens. It doesn’t even matter if you were being overprotective. Your baby your choice.
I’d stop trying to make them get it. If they don’t they don’t. Can only control myself. But would calmly make it clear then that can’t go til issue is resolved.
Hugs and hatzlocha

amother

Oxfordblue

Sun, May 22 2022, 3:33 am

I also showed everyone baby's EpiPen and made sure they knew how to use it just in case, being very detailed with the symptoms that will make it necessary

amother

Hibiscus

Sun, May 22 2022, 3:58 am

Unfortunately, most of my family didn't learn to take allergies seriously until they witnessed ds having a reaction. MIL is the only one who actually tried giving ds foods without my supervision; with the rest of the family, the issue was keeping their house peanut free as ds reacts to smell. I keep my kids away from MIL as much as possible. On the rare occasion that we do spend Shabbos or yom tov with her, I watch my kids like a hawk. I don't give her the opportunity to feed ds anything without my checking it first.

amother

Sun, May 22 2022, 4:05 am

How to get husbands on board when his parents are always right so no matter that they are doing something dangerous he is blind to their behavior

amother

Antiquewhite

Sun, May 22 2022, 4:17 am

Find someone who lost a child to anaphylaxis and scare the xxx out of him.

amother

Quince

Sun, May 22 2022, 4:28 am

You might not ever convince your in laws. Even after 2 years my husband tells his family that our toddler is “sensitive to some foods”
Argh. He’s anaphylactic to nuts, dairy, seeds. We always always carry an epipen. If we are at a simcha or someone else’s house he never leaned my sight. It’s exhausting but it’s the only way to keep him safe.

mommy3b2c

Sun, May 22 2022, 4:29 am

Tell your husband and your in laws you will
not visit until they take you seriously. Follow through, this is your child’s life.

amother

Oxfordblue

Sun, May 22 2022, 4:56 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

How to get husbands on board when his parents are always right so no matter that they are doing something dangerous he is blind to their behavior

Make him come to the allergist and have the allergist explain