What would be important to you in a gown?

amother

Tue, May 24 2022, 10:39 pm

My son's getting married, and I've been looking high and low for a gown.

Due to many births B"H, I have put on a lot of weight. People assume I'm pregnant because my stomach is all stretched out, and I have a very large tush. I'm also small on top which doesn't add any beauty to the picture. For our first wedding, I wore a very nice gown, but I cringe when I look at the pictures because it had an elastic waist that accentuated all the wrong parts. For this one, I decided I want something more flattering, possibly something with no waist at all. I went to a gemach yesterday and tried on several gowns. Some were very beautiful and appropriately fancy but made me look like a blimp. Then I found one that was extremely flattering due to the fact that it had no waist and also a pattern that distracted the eye from the parts I want to hide. When I tried it on, everyone agreed that I looked 20 pounds thinner. However, they felt it wasn't fancy enough for the mother of the chosson. One of them said it would work for a bar mitzvah boy's mother but not for a chosson's mother. (I personally would not wear a gown to a bar mitzvah, but apparently some do.)

The wedding is really close and I need to make a decision. What would be more important to you? A gown that's appropriately fancy for mother of the groom or something less fancy but extremely flattering?

Right now, there do not seem to be any options that meet both qualifications.

amother

Hyacinth

Tue, May 24 2022, 10:43 pm

Flattering. If you feel great you’ll look great. Mazel tov!!!

mushkamothers

Tue, May 24 2022, 10:43 pm

Flattering. Your makeup and hair and jewelry can be over the top if you want. Also everyone at the wedding knows who you are.

amother

Daffodil

Tue, May 24 2022, 10:44 pm

Less fancy for sure!!!! Wear something that makes you feel beautiful and the confidence it gives you will make you shine even more.
You can always accessorize with fancy jewelry, wig, hair.
I've seen very fancy rich women absolutely rock the plainest gowns.

ProudJew

Tue, May 24 2022, 10:54 pm

Flattering. You need to feel good about the way you look. Don’t worry about other people's opinion.

wifenmother

Tue, May 24 2022, 11:08 pm

Before I saw your detailed post - just based on the title - my response was going to be: fit. If the gown has a good fit, go for it! I second all of the other posters: if you'll feel great, you'll look great!

Splurge on good and comfortable undergarments, get nice jewelry (there are gemachim for that too), and make sure that your shaitel and makeup are perfect.

Mazel Tov!!! Enjoy the simcha and nachas!

amother

Tealblue

Tue, May 24 2022, 11:14 pm

A proper fit and style is the most important thing in a gown. A poorly fit & wrong style gown can make the fanciest gown look awful. And vice versa.

amother

Springgreen

Wed, May 25 2022, 12:15 am

Good fit !!!!! The first thing I look at is how it makes me look and feel. I got a very simple gown for my sister's wedding, black , but it made me look so thin!!! I ended up taking it to a store to add some beading and I wore beautiful jewelry. But the fit was everything! Imagine I had a drop dead gorgeous gown but my whole figure was showing in the wrong places. I would wana hide all night. I rather have people talk and say her gown was simpler then I expected then say wow she looked horrible and fat!!

amother

Wed, May 25 2022, 12:15 am

Looks like it's unanimous. Thanks for making me feel more confident about this!

familyfirst

Wed, May 25 2022, 12:40 am

Asking you can add appliqué to the shoulders and/or sleeves

Even if not, fit is most important! There is elegance in simplicity…

DrMom

Wed, May 25 2022, 12:56 am

familyfirst wrote:

Asking you can add appliqué to the shoulders and/or sleeves

Even if not, fit is most important! There is elegance in simplicity…

Why would she want to do this?

amother

Wed, May 25 2022, 1:30 am

DrMom wrote:

Why would she want to do this?

I can't anyway. It belongs to the gemach. But either way, the pattern on the gown wouldn't go with applique.

amother

Electricblue

Wed, May 25 2022, 1:39 am

I'm sure you'll look amazing!

And maybe afterwards drop some tips for the rest of us with that shape body so we know what to look for Smile

amother

Wed, May 25 2022, 3:28 am

Thanks!

Bnei Berak 10

Wed, May 25 2022, 4:26 am

I chime in with the ones saying go for it.
You may add very fancy shoes jewelry make-up wig.
If you are a scarf person you may add a very fancy large scarf around neck.

cnc

Wed, May 25 2022, 7:13 am

Absolutely the more flattering one …