Divorcees without kids

amother

Thu, May 26 2022, 12:22 pm

Heya

I saw a few divorcees without kids comment on some threads today, and I’m wondering how many of us there actually are here.

I see I’m not the only one that feels out of place with the divorced moms and with the single girls, cuz we’re not exactly either one of those…
I feel like I’m dangling somewhere in the middle.

anyhoo, feel free to say hi.

singleagain

Thu, May 26 2022, 12:46 pm

amother [ Amber ] wrote:

I’m Prbly going to be one soon 🙁

Hugs. That is so hard. Can I ask how long ago you were married... My ex wallet out after 11 months. Part of my shame was not even making it to the one year mark.

amother

Thu, May 26 2022, 12:49 pm

amother [ Amber ] wrote:

I’m Prbly going to be one soon 🙁

Aww I’m so sorry
Hope you’re doing ok and have support irl.
Whatever ends up happening it’s gonna be ok Hug

amother

Thu, May 26 2022, 12:50 pm

singleagain wrote:

Hugs. That is so hard. Can I ask how long ago you were married... My ex wallet out after 11 months. Part of my shame was not even making it to the one year mark.

I got to 6 months so I guess I lose. Or win.

amother

Amber

Thu, May 26 2022, 12:54 pm

singleagain wrote:

Hugs. That is so hard. Can I ask how long ago you were married... My ex wallet out after 11 months. Part of my shame was not even making it to the one year mark.

Married two years

Thanks for the support

singleagain

Thu, May 26 2022, 1:01 pm

amother [ Amber ] wrote:

Married two years

Thanks for the support

That's still so hard, bc you were making it and then not

Do you have supportive people to help you divide any stuff?

My folks were a huge help with that. They did a pre-inventory and came with me when I say to discuss what was being split up

amother

Amber

Thu, May 26 2022, 1:20 pm

singleagain wrote:

No we never made it. Tried to make it work but it’s not happening.
I don’t really have any support. Hopefully I’ll have
No one knows about it so don’t know what support I’ll have when people find out
The thing I’m nervous about is having friends I can have a good time with

amother

Thu, May 26 2022, 1:24 pm

amother [ Amber ] wrote:

I respect you for trying to make it work for so long. That takes a lot.
The ppl that care abt you will hopefully support you thru it. Lots of ppl were surprised when I got divorced too but bh most of them were pretty amazing abt it.

And abt having friends; well, here we are Wink

amother

Thu, May 26 2022, 1:37 pm

I feel like this might out me, but Im anonymous anyways so who cares.

But today is the, anniversary I guess you would say? of my wedding.
And I don’t know how to feel abt it.
Im bh doing so well and I’m not like sad abt it, but I just feel weird today. Idk.

singleagain

Thu, May 26 2022, 1:46 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I'm so glad that I got married on my friends birthday so if I start to feel sad about it I just focus on my friend. It was her birthday before my wedding anniversary

singleagain

Thu, May 26 2022, 1:48 pm

amother [ Amber ] wrote:

The support thing is hard. But it is amazing how many people are kind.

Also what really helped were hearing stores from other people who'd btdt.

What do you mean about friends... Don't you have friends now? Are you worried they'll drop you?

amother

Amber

Thu, May 26 2022, 2:32 pm

singleagain wrote:

Don’t have too many friends and their all busy with their life. Not worried they’ll drop me but for once need people in the same stage in life as me

amother

Lightcyan

Thu, May 26 2022, 2:55 pm

Is anyone in Lakewood? I was on the other thread also. I'd love to meet up.

Also I totally get you about the wedding day-I wasn't sad that day but I did feel weird, and I wanted people to remember...no one did.
I also didn't make it to a year.

amother

Thu, May 26 2022, 2:59 pm

amother [ Amber ] wrote:

Don’t have too many friends and their all busy with their life. Not worried they’ll drop me but for once need people in the same stage in life as me

I would say focus first on getting thru your divorce. What’s gonna happen after is gonna happen after. I know it’s easy to worry abt all the million things that are gonna change, but try to take it one day at a time.

Also once you’re “out of the closet” and everyone knows what was going on and that you’re getting divorced, your friends will be there for you even if they’re busy with their lives. And you’ll find new friends that are in the same boat as you.

singleagain

Thu, May 26 2022, 3:01 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Yeah I agree with this It's amazing how many people reach out afterwards and tell you their own stories

But also if someone is a good friend you'll still be able to meet up with them even if they are busy with their lives I have had good friends over the years even married ones who have me over for Shabbat or invite me to run errands with them and stuff.

amother

Thu, May 26 2022, 3:22 pm

singleagain wrote:

Same.
I’m still very close with my married friends. They have the cutest kids and I love being their auntie.
If the friendship is important to both of you it won’t fall apart just cause you’re in different stages.

amother

Thu, May 26 2022, 3:25 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

But I also agree that there’s nothing like talking to someone who’s going thru the same thing and gets it.

singleagain

Thu, May 26 2022, 3:30 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

But I also agree that there’s nothing like talking to someone who’s going thru the same thing and gets it.

So told hearing a story from someone who was like 20 years in the future for me one of my neighbors who had had a short marriage no kids before her current So awesome to hear that