I wrongly accused a child

amother

Thu, May 26 2022, 9:40 pm

I made 2 suppers tonight, one was for my son and the other was for my daughters and husband
Son decided he also wants the other supper (Shnitzel) so I said there’s not enough, you wanted chicken on bone (supper I made special for him). I then gave in and said he can have just one piece.
I thought he took 2 since there was none left when my husband came home, and my husband asked where’s the chicken cutlets I said son had it. I know - big mistake! My son said he didn’t take it and I think that maybe my 3 year old took it off the table….
What do I do now? I feel so bad, he’s calling me a liar….

amother

Calendula

Thu, May 26 2022, 9:43 pm

Next time dont make only 3 pieces of a dish.. Always make a few extra pieces for anyone that wants or might want seconds/leftovers..

Just apologize to your son whats the big deal

amother

Razzmatazz

Thu, May 26 2022, 9:45 pm

amother [ Calendula ] wrote:

Next time dont make only 3 pieces of a dish.. Always make a few extra pieces for anyone that wants or might want seconds/leftovers...

Wow why was this necessary??

amother

PlumPink

Thu, May 26 2022, 9:45 pm

You apologize PUBLICALLY in front of the family and you say I am so sorry Mommy should never have accused you I made a big mistake and yes in the future PLEASE don't make FOOD something they have to worry about taking that is AWFUL

ellacoe

Thu, May 26 2022, 9:47 pm

Perhaps use this as a learning lesson for your son. Validate his feelings and apologize. It will each him that its ok to be wrong and it is important to apologize when you are.

amother

Amber

Thu, May 26 2022, 9:47 pm

I don't understand why this is such a big deal. You thought he had taken he said he didn't so you all move on. Why is he calling you a liar and why is thinking he took it such a big deal?

amother

Razzmatazz

Thu, May 26 2022, 9:48 pm

amother [ PlumPink ] wrote:

For heaven's sake everyone be nice!
C'mon she made a separate special supper that her son requested!

amother

Sienna

Thu, May 26 2022, 9:57 pm

amother [ Razzmatazz ] wrote:

For heaven's sake everyone be nice!
C'mon she made a separate special supper that her son requested!

this. Just apologize to him and move on. And call him logon calling you a liar. Your mistake (which you are apologizing for) doesn’t allow him to talk to you that way

amother

Dahlia

Thu, May 26 2022, 10:30 pm

I still remember when my mother apologized to me, it must’ve been after she thought I did something that I didn’t. It must’ve been 25 years ago, but it made such an impression on me, that I still recall.

twizzlers1

Fri, May 27 2022, 1:48 am

I have apologized to my kids many times when I made mistake. I mean we're all human. I tried to apologize in front of everyone and I try to make sure that I don't do things I have to apologize for on a super regular basis. I think it's a really big learning lesson for my kids that we can all make mistakes. And I learned somewhere not sure the source is to give a bracha when you misjudge someone. I feel like it takes something negative and turns it into a positive.

s c

Fri, May 27 2022, 8:22 am

Apologise and move on. I apologise to my kids when I'm wrong. If anything it models how to behave, how to admit wrongdoing, apologise and restore good feelings. Many times kids find that so difficult and instead double down. Set them an example to follow.

amother

Cadetblue

Fri, May 27 2022, 8:39 am

amother [ Dahlia ] wrote:

I totally get this and wish I'd had that experience.

I have a clear memory of my mother accusing me- publicly- of eating something as there was less in the pot than she thought. I guess it must have cooked out or something, all I know is that I hadn't touched it.

I don't think I'll ever forget my hurt and outrage. She didn't act like she believed me even when I told her it wasn't true. I remember taking a cup of milk and drinking it in front of her to prove that I wasn't fleishig, and she still didn't really apologize. She just justified her accusation by saying, "well, I thought you had."

An apology would have gone a long way. It also would have helped if she'd acknowledged that her accusation was unfair and unjustified. Instead I was left with the feeling that I deserved to be accused, if that makes sense.

amother

Glitter

Fri, May 27 2022, 8:41 am

I think your son calling you a liar is WAY worse than your suggesting that he took a piece of shnitzel.
Mostly because you are the mother and he is the son.
I am also curious if you, indeed, suggested that he took it or yelled and screamed that he took it.

graphic613

Fri, May 27 2022, 8:45 am

He could have easily called you a liar because he felt attacked. I don't know if now is the right time to address the whole him calling you a liar thing. I think it all depends on his feelings. If he does feel attacked, I would just address the misaccusation, and if he is kind of over it, I would address him calling you a liar. I agree that it isnt respectful, but it most likely came from a place of hurt.

amother

Hotpink

Fri, May 27 2022, 9:29 am

amother [ Calendula ] wrote:

Next time dont make only 3 pieces of a dish.. Always make a few extra pieces for anyone that wants or might want seconds/leftovers..

Just apologize to your son whats the big deal

Seriously?!? What if finances are an issue? Her son specifically requested a different meal. She made it for him and a specific number of portions of a different dish for the rest of the family. I am not making extras that are likely not being eaten when I already made 2 different meals. Why waste the food?!? When finances are an issue- you make exactly that amount of the expensive main and if still hungry you fill up on other things.

Now, for OP: apologize to your son in front of everyone who was there. Explain you are sorry, you were frustrated and wasnt thinking clearly, and didn't mean to accuse him or not believe him.
You also might want to keep DH portion in the kitchen in the future so no one assumes they can eat everything on the table.

amother

Lemon

Fri, May 27 2022, 12:41 pm

A SON CALLS HIS MOTHER A LIAR and some people are just like apologize??!!
Sure you should apologize, but him calling you a liar is way not ok !
I would say :" Listen son, I am sorry for accusing you wrongly, I made a mistake. But that does not make it ok for you to call your mother a liar. It is never ever ok to call your mother a liar!"