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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Manners & Etiquette
cnc
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 Fri, May 27 2022, 1:28 pm
I would be very uncomfortable
a) breach of my privacy
b) other people playing with my kids unsupervised
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amother
Dill
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Fri, May 27 2022, 1:41 pm
You kids should not be opening the door. This is on your kids/the rule you have set in your home. Was DH awake and home? If so, he should either have woken you and sent you to bed (while they were standing outside waiting) or not let them in.
If he was not home, your child should not have let them in. My teens do not invite guests over without permission. Permission is always granted unless there are extenuating circumstances but they ask, just as they ask before taking the car even though there are 2 sitting in the driveway.
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amother
OP
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Sat, May 28 2022, 6:05 pm
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To clarify, my kids who let them in are old enough to do so. They know these boys very well. In addition to coming by after the meal, they often eat meals by us on Shabbos. One of them dated from our house. They're almost like uncles to our kids. My kids did nothing wrong by opening the door.
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amother
Lightpink
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Sat, May 28 2022, 11:09 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | | To clarify, my kids who let them in are old enough to do so. They know these boys very well. In addition to coming by after the meal, they often eat meals by us on Shabbos. One of them dated from our house. They're almost like uncles to our kids. My kids did nothing wrong by opening the door. |
I can't say I blame the bochurim then. They didn't know you were sleeping when they came in, and had no idea how long it would be until your husband came home. They made a judgment call that it was okay to play with the kids by the table. It probably would have also been awkward for them to come in, see that you're sleeping, and leave without waiting for your husband.
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imasinger
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Sat, May 28 2022, 11:57 pm
It's hard to have it both ways.
Either they're family for all intents and purposes, uncles to your kids, in which case they're welcome most of the time, and if you don't want them to see you asleep, it's on you to avoid resting on the couch during the times they might drop by;
Or they're frequent guests, who only come in when an adult invites them, and you train your kids not to invite them in without you or DH, including if you're asleep on the couch.
Which way makes more sense to you?
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