I’m at a loss with my 5 year old

my mama

Tue, May 31 2022, 1:13 pm

If he likes tight hugs try a weighted blankey for the nighttime. If he likes the way it feels a weighted vest during the day can also help him calm down.
You're saying he's a picky eater, there might be a specific texture that bothers him more than others.
A neurologist taught me a proven breathing exercise to calm the brain down, two quick breaths in through the nose and a long slow breath out through the mouth. Repeat it for one minute at a time. Start when he's calmer and then once he knows it you can remind him to do deep breathing to calm down.

amother

Orange

Tue, May 31 2022, 1:53 pm

Please get him evaluated for ADHD (a full neuropsych can assess for this and other things).
Signed, a SLP who works with kids like your son:)

amother [ OP ] wrote:

He was difficult from day 1.
First I blamed my parenting he’s my first, but I don’t anymore.
I have other children and they are as different as night and day.
I read explosive child, I tried unconditional parenting, I took him to OT for years. I went to a developmental pediatrician… my DH and I are losing it. We are overwhelmed with guilt because we end up snapping at him more then the others. We love him but we aren’t dealing with him correctly. I know something is wrong but I don’t know where to start. I don’t live in the US.

Typical day in his life:
Wake up at 5 am and demand to watch, bothers me every 15 mins for something else
745 try to get him dressed with much fights while he plays and bullies his siblings
820 wants 3 different breakfasts and doesn’t eat half of them
830 as we leave he sneaks more snacks and toys in his breakfast when he thinks I’m not looking
840 ok in the car for a change we listen to music then bye
415 a cloud of destruction enters the home in rage and anger. If dinner is not hot in front of him he kicks screams pulls punches smacks yells until he gets what he wants
Repeat repeat repeat. He’s only calm when I’m able to sit with him and play without distractions or disturbances which is hard with little kids.

Repeat until 7 bedtime which is given with 1/2 mg melatonin because otherwise he won’t sleep

Dh and I breathe a sigh of relief

830 get a text from his rebbe he can’t sit in class..,
1am he’s in my bed

I love him so much and I wish I can help him. I’m scared he will turn into an angry adult Sad

amother

Gardenia

Tue, May 31 2022, 4:10 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I see this here all the time. Who can diagnosis this and what treatment is there?

Also, note that I said he was always difficult. From day 1.

Where are you located?

When I say pandas I really mean it as an umbrella term for all forms of brain inflammation. And even broader, all biological/medical reasons for behavioral symptoms in kids. Outside of brain inflammation, that can include food sensitivities, gut issues, nutrient deficiencies, mineral imbalances, heavy metal toxicity, mold, etc. There are many different treatment options out there, depending on your specific causes.

amother

Daisy

Tue, May 31 2022, 4:23 pm

Wow that sounds so hard and very full on.
I really get you, sounds similar to my 7 year old who is on the spectrum. Really not easy, wishing you lots of strength.
Its a struggle for me every day.

Were not coping either and his siblings are finding him so difficult too.

OT is good for these kids.
Not that my son is going, spent a fortune on seeing someone for a few years and didnt really see much change and now he hasnt gone for a loong loong time. I just havent found a good therapist. And he really needs it....
Play therapy?

also are there any special clubs etc for him to go to after school?

Have you been referred to Camhs?
Have you tried any homeopathic remedies?

amother

DarkYellow

Tue, May 31 2022, 5:01 pm

OP I'm from the uk aswel and I have 8 year old diagnosed and my almost 5 year old sounds exactly like yours. NHS aswel as private psychologists will not look at him until he is 7. You cant get a diagnosis till that age here. The best you can do for now is send him for play therapy or ot, animal therapy can be helpful aswel
I totally feel you it's so hard to deal with

amother

Daisy

Tue, May 31 2022, 5:09 pm

amother [ Daisy ] wrote:

Im also from UK.
We got a diagnosis at age 7 but started the process when he was 5+.
We did get seen by some drs but eventual diagnosis was only at 7 .
Just may be worth starting.