Rabbi to discuss baby name

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Forum -> Pregnancy & Childbirth -> Baby Names

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amother

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 10:29 am

Hi. A Grandparent of my side was nifter this year. I'm not so excited about the name. I waited a while for this baby and am looking forward to choosing a name. I spoke to my therapist already andd was suggested to speak to a rav that specializes in names. He lives in Flatbush. Can anyone help me out with this?

amother

Razzmatazz

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 10:47 am

It sounds like you’re expected to give the name but don’t want to. Do you have to? Good luck!
My dh 2 grandmothers were niftar just before dd was born. We didn’t name after either (obviously we had our reasons). Yes they requested after 2or 3 weeks that we change our daughters name because they were upset, but we weren’t going to change the name we felt was right to give a name we were aware of at the time of naming and chose not to give. My dh recently told me that several years later his family are still upset with him as they wanted a different name.

amother

Pearl

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 10:50 am

Can't help with the rabbi but I just want to say that you are given ruach hakodesh when it comes to naming your baby. If you feel strongly about a name or strongly about not giving a name trust yourself. You can look at the torah to see that at the beginning names were chosen based on meaning and not naming after others, that's my source for choosing meaningful names and not naming after people. Good luck.

dena613

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 10:53 am

Do you have a rov with a lot of insight? Speak to him.

(I'm not talking about a young rav in his 30s... More like 60s, with lots of life experience and work with the klal.)

amother

Forestgreen

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 10:55 am

We spoke to rav Shmuel kamenetsky about a name. The rav didn’t tell us what to do. But helped us with direction and clarity.

amother

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 11:01 am

My husband and I have a name that we both really love. But I feel wrong not giving the name of the grandparent as I don't want to hear my parents. I'm so torn. Baby is due in a few short weeks and and I would live some guidance.

amother

Amethyst

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 11:09 am

Why not give the grandparent’s name as a second name, and the name you like as the first, and call the baby only by the first name? It’s a good compromise that will prevent your parents from being hurt while still enabling you to call your child by a name you like.

My siblings and I do this with our grandmother’s name which is very unusual in our circles and would potentially cause our children to be bullied.

amother

Forestgreen

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 11:11 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

For me personally I found many times I knew what I wanted to name my baby. But when I held the baby many times things changed. And I totally changed the name.
I’d wait until birth to see what happens.

amother

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 11:22 am

We had a specific name in mind the whole pregnancy. Just over yom tov we were discussing how a different name was even nicer and we are both so hooked on the name.
Giving the grandparent name as a secondary name may not be the same. The name is a very common name but I just personally don't like it and I wasn't very fond of that grandparent either.

snailmail

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 1:12 pm

I believe it was Rabbi Pesach Krohn who said something along the lines of, 'If people are old enough to have a baby, they are old enough to choose the name.' It should not be the couples parents or grandparents who pick the name. However, the couple would have to deal with the fall out of upset family.
We have never picked a name before a child was born, but discussed different names. Once the child is born you may feel different.
Adding the grandparent name as a second name may not be "done", and could be argued that it is a different name if you add something to it, but maybe that is the compromise that would not cause a family machlokes. An experienced Rov should be consulted but sorry I dont know anyone specific that you may be looking for.

amother

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 3:49 pm

I may have some upset people.... that's why I would like to speak to a Rabbi with knowledge in names.

STMommy

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 4:45 pm

We consulted with Rabbi Shmuel Marcus from the Young Israel of Queens Valley and found him very helpful.

amother

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 4:49 pm

Do you have his phone number? Is this his "specialty?"

amother

Mintgreen

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 5:07 pm

Rabbi Dovid Cohen

amother

Mintgreen

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 5:08 pm

I second waiting until baby is born iyH.

amother

Tulip

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 5:09 pm

I would suggest discussing the issue with Rav Dovid Cohen or Rav Yisrael Reisman, both of Flatbush.

amother

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 5:29 pm

Do you have contact information?