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Should I have consulted with them first? Update
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mizle10




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Jun 10 2022, 7:06 am
The most unacceptable part of this whole scenario is that you really don't seem to care.
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amother




Brunette
 

Post Fri, Jun 10 2022, 7:08 am
mizle10 wrote:
The most unacceptable part of this whole scenario is that you really don't seem to care.


Definitely! Just upsetting to end the year off like that…
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amother




Lemonchiffon
 

Post Fri, Jun 10 2022, 7:15 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Of course it's safe.
And they know my assistant well, I leave her with them often whilst I pop out to the local grocery store, or to make supper etc. Her house is safe. The kids will be fine, it's 3 days! He might just cry for a few mins...not the end of the world.


Wow. So this was a planned vacation. You knew ahead of time. You gave ZERO notice.
You also leave your students with assistants regularly while you make supper or go shopping?!? Do the moms know all this?!?

Wish I knew who you are. This is so unprofessional I am just shocked. I would never use you. You dont seem to care about anyone - crying kids, moms who may be fuming and not share it with you, moms who cant look at the other home....
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happy chick




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Jun 10 2022, 7:24 am
Nobody mentioned anything about location. Where did you move your playgroup to? If my teacher woke up one morning and told me that shes moving playgroup to a location half a mile away, that would be a very big deal for me. For anyone who walks, that would be an issue especially on such short notice.
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amother




OP
 

Post Fri, Jun 10 2022, 7:24 am
Of course I care!

I'm just not prepared to cancel my vacation after the planning, packing up etc.

I'm still considering having it back in my house after all the replies, just to start later.

If I asked the question then I care. I feel really bad about it all. I really didn't think it would be problem for anyone.

I'm a private, heimishe playgroup, they know it's not the most professional, yet my price is good, I have a small group and they chose to send here.
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amother




OP
 

Post Fri, Jun 10 2022, 7:26 am
happy chick wrote:
Nobody mentioned anything about location. Where did you move your playgroup to? If my teacher woke up one morning and told me that shes moving playgroup to a location half a mile away, that would be a very big deal for me. For anyone who walks, that would be an issue especially on such short notice.


I mentioned in one of my posts, that it's a 2 minute drive away.
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happy chick




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Jun 10 2022, 7:28 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I mentioned in one of my posts, that it's a 2 minute drive away.


What about the walking parents? 2 min drive could be an extra 10 min walk. Unless you know that everyone drives.
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amother




OP
 

Post Fri, Jun 10 2022, 7:32 am
happy chick wrote:
What about the walking parents? 2 min drive could be an extra 10 min walk. Unless you know that everyone drives.


You need to read the whole thread. I've been through this.
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amother




Wine
 

Post Fri, Jun 10 2022, 7:33 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Of course I care!

I'm just not prepared to cancel my vacation after the planning, packing up etc.

I'm still considering having it back in my house after all the replies, just to start later.

If I asked the question then I care. I feel really bad about it all. I really didn't think it would be problem for anyone.

I'm a private, heimishe playgroup, they know it's not the most professional, yet my price is good, I have a small group and they chose to send here.


The attitude I see from your posts isn't that caring. You tell parents last minute and make assumptions about how they feel, you do your cooking and shopping during school hours, you assume that the kids will be fine with the change and it's no big deal if they cry for afew minutes. You basically give off the attitude that it's all about you and your vacation and your convenience. Maybe this is the norm in your community, who knows? But it seems really unprofessional to me.
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amother




Sapphire
 

Post Fri, Jun 10 2022, 7:51 am
I think the arrangements you made are really good actually. The only thing you did wrong was giving ZERO advance notice. You should have told the parents two weeks ago that it’s a choice between starting half hour later or having a different location, they would have overwhelmingly chosen the other location, and this lady would’ve been upset with the other parents and not with you, and she would’ve had a couple weeks to figure out alternatives or to get used to the idea.
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amother




Maroon
 

Post Fri, Jun 10 2022, 7:56 am
What Sapphire said. You should have given them advance notice.

I had a situation where a school my DD is in made a significant change without giving parents any advance notice. They did this deliberately - in order to avoid complaints and requests for changes, etc....

I have never trusted them since. I no longer feel like a partner with them (though they continue to write that in notes). It's all fluff.

You did what worked for you without giving them time, in order to avoid dealing with any backlash. If you lost their trust, it's your own fault OP.
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amother




Melon
 

Post Fri, Jun 10 2022, 8:14 am
amother [ Holly ] wrote:
No, sending to children to someone else's home would not be an option. Im actually suprised that you, being a Morah, wouldn't understand this.

How old are the children btw?

There are medical emergencies chsvshlm etc and moros aren't trying to be uncaring and taking off for no good reason but life does happen and every mother that chose to work out of the home and send her child away is already possibly doing that child a disservice. I'm not saying they will be traumatized or there is another option but thats the risk you take sending your child to be cared for by someone other than yourself. How could we blame people for being human?? I'm very surprised, I hope you never face life out of control beyond what you wanted or expected. If covid taught us anything it was to let go and trust in Hashem. And above all, be understanding!!
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amother




OP
 

Post Fri, Jun 10 2022, 8:18 am
Playgroup is back at my house whilst I'm away, to start a little later. 25 mind later. Besides for 1 person they all preferred that so back to get the stuff now at 4.15 Friday afternoon.

And I don't care? That's really insensitive of the person who wrote that. I'm really upset actually.
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amother




Dahlia
 

Post Fri, Jun 10 2022, 8:21 am
I’ve had it happen that the playgroup was moved and it was inconvenient, but I dealt with it. A Morah has never asked me for permission. They just said, the playgroup will be elsewhere on these days. It’s part of sending to a playgroup in the home. Some people have misplaced expectations.
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amother




Oak
 

Post Fri, Jun 10 2022, 8:29 am
I would also much rather you start half hour later in the same place as always rather than same time in a different location.

First off, an 18 month old in a new location can get really upset. The fact that the assistant is someone they know only slightly helps the situation because bottom line, the kid is in a new place they do not recognize, they don't know it as the place they go to every day. My 17 month old perks up when I take him out of the car at his babysitter's house; he recognizes the house from outside and has an understanding of what's going to happen next. If I'd take him out at a different house, even if the person opening the door is someone he knows, he's still going to be very disoriented. Not know where all his toys are. Not know which rooms to be in. Maybe not even recognize the assistant just because it's a whole new experience.

Secondly, you make it sound like a 2 minute drive is no big deal. Let me break it down for you from my perspective. I have my route of when I take my kid to the babysitter. The location fits into my route on the way from my home to work. A 2 minute drive might be in the opposite direction and add 4 minutes to my route to work. Add in time for finding the new address the first time, possible traffic or lack of parking at the new location, and you easily get to 10 minutes, or more. So the total time you saved me was max 20 minutes and this is in addition to the headache of needing to focus where to go as opposed to going through my regular route on autopilot. Totally not worth it.

Thirdly, mentchlichkeit dictates that you let people know about change in plans ahead of time. Usually at least 2 weeks before. You have no idea what kind of arrangements will need to be made to accommodate the change, and it's not your place to calculate this for your parents. It's your job as the provider to notify of any changes in a timely manner. Friday, erev Shabbos is probably the worst time to tell people about a change taking place for the next day of playgroup. I would be very resentful about the lack of advance notice about something which isn't an emergency - you knew about it and didn't tell me because you didn't want to deal with my upsetness?
I remember my DD was in a playgroup which notified the parents of mid-winter vacation a week before the vacation. I had already booked plane tickets and made hotel reservations to go away with DH for those days. I was so annoyed at her because I could have planned my getaway for the previous week or the following week had I known about it in advance. My DD was going to stay at my sister's house, but my sister works and could not have DD home during the day! When I asked her why she didn't tell us at least at the beginning of the month, she said because she always has mothers who make her crazy to change the dates, so like this she only has a week to deal with everyone's phone calls. I was like, "Huh? If you would have told me a month in advance, I wouldn't be asking you to change the dates. It's only because you told us so late in the game, that now I'm stuck!"
You have no idea if any of your parents were going to go away and already made arrangements for their child based on your current location and now have to recalculate because of your last-minute change. Or any other cheshbonos that are NOT YOURS TO MAKE!
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amother




Melon
 

Post Fri, Jun 10 2022, 8:30 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Playgroup is back at my house whilst I'm away, to start a little later. 25 mind later. Besides for 1 person they all preferred that so back to get the stuff now at 4.15 Friday afternoon.

And I don't care? That's really insensitive of the person who wrote that. I'm really upset actually.

Please ignore. Seriously making my blood boil too. It's no wonder there aren't enough moros out there, ppl treat them worse than they treat any random person.
The CEO of a large corporation, your illegal cleaning help, the cashier at the grocery, and your daughters 1st grade morah, all take off work when they need to, docked pay or not. But your daughters playgroup morah can't unless she makes the perfect arrangements according to some impossible standards. And she volunteers to loose pay to make it work! I wonder how the amother would feel if her boss took off time and 1/2 every time she took off for a hernia surgery or whatever. Seriously despicable.
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amother




Papaya
 

Post Fri, Jun 10 2022, 8:35 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Of course I care!

I'm just not prepared to cancel my vacation after the planning, packing up etc.

I'm still considering having it back in my house after all the replies, just to start later.

If I asked the question then I care. I feel really bad about it all. I really didn't think it would be problem for anyone.

I'm a private, heimishe playgroup, they know it's not the most professional, yet my price is good, I have a small group and they chose to send here.


OP YOUR FINE. YOUR AMAZING FOR ARRANGING OTHER ARRANGEMENTS!! Wish I can send to you.
Most morahs in todays days just say I’m sorry but there is no playgroup next week as I am taking off.
TO ALL THE OTHER BASHERS, SHE IS TAKING CARE OF KIDS AND DESERVES A VACATION EVEN MORE THAN YOU!! Don’t you want her to recharge so she can give better care to your kids??! I’m appalled at the poster who says you take care of kids so no vacation. WTH??!
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amother




Wine
 

Post Fri, Jun 10 2022, 8:38 am
amother [ Melon ] wrote:
Please ignore. Seriously making my blood boil too. It's no wonder there aren't enough moros out there, ppl treat them worse than they treat any random person.
The CEO of a large corporation, your illegal cleaning help, the cashier at the grocery, and your daughters 1st grade morah, all take off work when they need to, docked pay or not. But your daughters playgroup morah can't unless she makes the perfect arrangements according to some impossible standards. And she volunteers to loose pay to make it work! I wonder how the amother would feel if her boss took off time and 1/2 every time she took off for a hernia surgery or whatever. Seriously despicable.


It is ok for a morah to take off. It is NOT ok or professional to make plans that are convenient for morah and leaving the parents out of the equation. It is not ok to let parents know about said plans from one minute to the next. It's not ok to just assume that the parents would be fine with those arrangements and that it's no big deal if the kids will cry. Those aren't impossible standards. It's professional and menchlich standards. You see that OP said that most parents opted for them staying where they are. This isn't something that OP has right to plan without taking parents into consideration and just letting them know from one minute to the next.
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amother




Wine
 

Post Fri, Jun 10 2022, 8:40 am
amother [ Papaya ] wrote:
OP YOUR FINE. YOUR AMAZING FOR ARRANGING OTHER ARRANGEMENTS!! Wish I can send to you.
Most morahs in todays days just say I’m sorry but there is no playgroup next week as I am taking off.
TO ALL THE OTHER BASHERS, SHE IS TAKING CARE OF KIDS AND DESERVES A VACATION EVEN MORE THAN YOU!! Don’t you want her to recharge so she can give better care to your kids??! I’m appalled at the poster who says you take care of kids so no vacation. WTH??!


Of course she's entitled to take a vacation. But it's not right to let parents know from one minute to the next. It's not right to switch locations without asking parents if they're ok with it. It's not right to make plans and just assume that kids and parents will be fine with it. (It's also not right to cook dinner and go out shopping during school hours.)
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amother




OP
 

Post Fri, Jun 10 2022, 8:40 am
amother [ Papaya ] wrote:
OP YOUR FINE. YOUR AMAZING FOR ARRANGING OTHER ARRANGEMENTS!! Wish I can send to you.
Most morahs in todays days just say I’m sorry but there is no playgroup next week as I am taking off.
TO ALL THE OTHER BASHERS, SHE IS TAKING CARE OF KIDS AND DESERVES A VACATION EVEN MORE THAN YOU!! Don’t you want her to recharge so she can give better care to your kids??! I’m appalled at the poster who says you take care of kids so no vacation. WTH??!


THANK YOU SO MUCH!
Yes I could do with a break, taking care of kids is extremely hard work.
And iyH I get back refreshed and ready for the weeks ahead.
We still have 8 weeks left of school here until the summer break.
I wish all parents were like you Smile
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