My baby is constantly hurting me!

amother

Honeydew

Sun, Jun 12 2022, 10:12 am

https://www.regardingbaby.org/.....ites/
This can be so challenging. Check out this link and also check out Janet Lansbury’s podcast unruffled she has lots of advice on how to handle behaviors we do want our children to repeat in a calm manner.
Good luck!

amother

Milk

Sun, Jun 12 2022, 11:47 am

I hate to say but the only thing that worked for my biter (got teeth really early and bit me all the time when nursing) was saying really strongly "No!" Almost in a yell and take baby off chest. Shocked the baby and didnt do it again for a long time. Only thing that worked. I know it's only a baby but it has become a pattern and baby is used to it now. They associated nursing with biting etc now and you need to break that association.

amother

Mayflower

Sun, Jun 12 2022, 12:41 pm

Just saying that I totally get you. And then the stupid feeling of complaining that baby hurt me. But it really does hurt. Even when toddler keeps stepping on your toes and uncoordinated 7 year old just sits next to you on couch and elbow pokes into your shoulder....

amother

Stone

Sun, Jun 12 2022, 12:42 pm

OP, you mentioned your little one is 7 months old and is nursing - was the baby always doing this while nursing? Or is it a more recent development? Are you offering any other nutritional sources? Any latch issues? Any difficulties cutting/filing baby's nails? Baby growing ok?

Let us know a bit more - we want to try to help!

amother

Mimosa

Sun, Jun 12 2022, 12:57 pm

OP I had this too. It’s so painful (and so embarrassing to have a scratched up face) At night I put him in pajamas with long sleeves and pulled them over his hands. By day I wrapped him really tightly in a blanket while nursing and held it closed tight with one hand so he couldn’t get his hands out. Also when I held him I was always careful not to have him in reach of my face. And I would pull my sleeves over the back of my hand when I held him otherwise he would scratch at the back of my hands and that was so painful.

amother

Sun, Jun 12 2022, 3:40 pm

amother [ Honeydew ] wrote:

https://www.regardingbaby.org/2012/04/10/toddler-bites/
This can be so challenging. Check out this link and also check out Janet Lansbury’s podcast unruffled she has lots of advice on how to handle behaviors we do want our children to repeat in a calm manner.
Good luck!

thanks I’ll check it out!

amother

Sun, Jun 12 2022, 3:42 pm

amother [ Milk ] wrote:

yes I did this too. It wasn’t even intentional but it hurt so I yelled instinctively and he did have a shocked look on his face but can’t say it really helped although biting isn’t the worse of the issues.

amother

Sun, Jun 12 2022, 3:44 pm

imasinger wrote:

OP, can you please describe in detail what you tried?

I tried gently removing hand and saying no gently. I tried redirecting his hands to toys. I have yelled not in purpose when something really hurt and he would look shocked but go back to it shortly thereafter. I have tried removing hand and saying no firmly.

amother

Crimson

Sun, Jun 12 2022, 6:12 pm

That’s sounds really challenging! Sad

My baby is around the same age and moves around a lot including hitting and scratching me all the time too. He started off my scratching himself because he had very itchy cradle cap so I bought an electric nail file and always keep his nails really really short, it was a nightmare until I got the electric one and now it keeps us both safe from deep scratches.
I also think his hitting and scratching me is his way of communicating that he wants to be close to me.I really think his love language will be physical touch (even though all babies love touch) because when he starts hitting or grabbing my face which ends up in scratches I respond with a cuddle or a head stroke and he loves it. Maybe it’s your babies way of communicating “hey I want a hug”.

amother

Sun, Jun 12 2022, 6:28 pm

amother [ Crimson ] wrote:

That’s sounds really challenging! Sad

interesting can you link the electric nail file? Oh I hug and kiss him all day

amother

Sun, Jun 12 2022, 6:29 pm

amother [ Mayflower ] wrote:

thanks for the validation

imasinger

Sun, Jun 12 2022, 6:59 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Thank you, this helps.

Here's an important thing to remember.

Saying "no" means very little if there's no change in environment. If your baby were reaching to touch a flame, you wouldn't say no, pull his hand away, and stay within reach, right? You'd say no, and move him out of danger.

If he pokes, hits, pinches, or scratches you while he's nursing, then that feeding needs to end right when you say your clear, strong, calm, and above all, consistent "no".

He won't starve. He'll get the rest later, and you can pump, if you like. In fact, he'll probably end up getting better nutrition in the long run, as nursing time can once again become a meaningful experience for you both.

If he hurts you when he's playing, then the activity needs to end. I'd suggest putting him go into an enclosed space, where he has toys, but can't touch you.

Even if he cries in the short term, you're doing him a tremendous chesed in the medium to long term. Learning to control aggressive impulses will help him make connections to people, learn, and grow. Don't be afraid to be firm and consistent, even if he cries.

He would cry if he ran afoul of the law of gravity, and fell. This is similar. There's a short term pain in the learning, followed by a long term gain.

amother

Rainbow

Mon, Jun 13 2022, 11:02 pm

amother [ Mayflower ] wrote:

Omg yes yes yes!! I have bruises all over my body from all my little ones. Exactly as you describe jabbing elbows into me, swiping my face, stepping on wet socked toes after bath time (super painful) and so much more. I always wondered why people don’t talk about this more. I know I’m extra sensory but these regular kid behaviors really really do hurt objectively!