12 yr old Son won't go swimming this year..

Sewsew_mom

Tue, Jun 14 2022, 9:47 am

Finally pulled teeth and he said he won't go swimming because he has hair on his legs and under his arms.
He's also been wearing a sweatshirt in 95 degree weather.. Took time to get it out of him. Boys in the class (6th grade) heard he has hair under his arms and made fun of him.
So strange that a 12 year old would make fun of a classmate because he's reached puberty. But now we figured out a solution for daily underarm issued without a sweatshirt..

But the swimming? Are the 12 year old boys hairless? Do they have hair on their legs? I'm finding this so odd.. Obviously we've talked to him about puberty and growing up.. But he says he's the only one with hair and it's embarrassing. Did he reach puberty very young? He is my oldest..
My heart hurts for him. And I really need him to get back into the pool this summer..

amother

Brown

Tue, Jun 14 2022, 9:51 am

My 13 yr old son has some light hair on his legs but none in his armpits. Idk how that would help you though probably best to ask a Dr because puberty is ok through a range of ages. What's sad is that he was made fun of because of that and he's insecure now:(

amother

Blue

Tue, Jun 14 2022, 9:56 am

I would see if I could undo the damage the kids did first. By telling him they are jealous. Real men are hairy, no hair is feminine, boys are always jealous of the oldest, biggest, strongest, manliest.

dinglehopper

Tue, Jun 14 2022, 9:56 am

They sell swimshirts so no one will be able to see it. Also, leg hair is usually present even in younger boys. Hopefully you can convince him to try out a swimshirt.

Sewsew_mom

Tue, Jun 14 2022, 10:02 am

dinglehopper wrote:

They sell swimshirts so no one will be able to see it. Also, leg hair is usually present even in younger boys. Hopefully you can convince him to try out a swimshirt.

Yes he always wore swimshirts.. So that won't be the issue. It's the leg hair.
He's dark. Has dark hair on his legs.
I think he's so cute 😂😂

Sewsew_mom

Tue, Jun 14 2022, 10:03 am

amother [ Blue ] wrote:

We did sit him down and explained exactly this to him.. But he's only 12. Gonna take a lot of convincing to make him believe it!

singleagain

Tue, Jun 14 2022, 10:09 am

I might get bashed for this... But if he will feel better with hairless legs... You can teach him to remove it. That way at least he will get back in the pool and then you can work on accepting the fact that leg hair grows.

amother

Blue

Tue, Jun 14 2022, 10:11 am

One of mine is dark and hairy and there were definite points of self conciousness. I used to whip out photos of hairy actors like george clooney and others and show him. Reinforce non self conscious messaging.

As women we know how terrible it is to feel this way. We should not want our boys to experience this too.

amother

Periwinkle

Tue, Jun 14 2022, 10:21 am

singleagain wrote:

I removed hair once. Then I was incredibly disappointed when it just grew back again. In retrospect, that was when I gave up the fight and accepted that I wasn't going to get my old body back. I was never too happy about the whole of puberty, but after that I accepted that it was inevitable and stopped letting it interfere with my life.

Zehava

Tue, Jun 14 2022, 10:25 am

I say let him be. He’ll figure it out. Probably as soon as other boys get their hair which shouldn’t take that long. I wouldn’t be too worried. It’s a passing stage.

singleagain

Tue, Jun 14 2022, 10:26 am

amother [ Periwinkle ] wrote:

And some people make it a habit to remove hair... All I'm saying is as a short term solution so he'll swim again this summer might be a good idea.

Sewsew_mom

Tue, Jun 14 2022, 10:29 am

My husband also mentioned to me to let him remove his hair under his arm for now..
I thought it was strange.. But I'll give him that option if he wants..
I think legs is a huge deal to shave though.. But I'm listening!
Thanks!

amother

Caramel

Tue, Jun 14 2022, 10:33 am

I had pubic hairs at 9. Yes my bunkmate whispered to me that she saw it. She did stick her head into my shower- in camp. Now she's very frum. It makes me puke

amother

Snow

Tue, Jun 14 2022, 10:43 am

My son told me last year that many boys were going swimming without changing into a bathing suit and would stay in their tiros! They did it for the fun and because they couldnt be bothered to change, but maybe thats an idea for your ds

Sewsew_mom

Tue, Jun 14 2022, 10:50 am

amother [ Snow ] wrote:

He's been doing that. I wasn't encouraging it.. But now I know the reason.. That's a good idea.

amother

Pansy

Tue, Jun 14 2022, 10:56 am

If you tell him to shave, won't it send him an indirect message that it's better to get rid of it? When in fact there's nothing wrong with it.
Additionally, Once he starts shaving, it'll grow back quicker and faster. Just something to think about.

Much hatzlacha!!! Must be so hard for you to see him being hurt!

singleagain

Tue, Jun 14 2022, 11:06 am

amother [ Pansy ] wrote:

We tell our girls to shave... Why is this different?

Also it doesn't grow back thicker.. biologically the hair grows from the root. Cutting the top has no affect on your genetic hair growth rate.

Lh291

Tue, Jun 14 2022, 12:25 pm

Muslim tsnius rules for men require most of the leg to be covered. Maybe you can find something from a store that is for the Muslim community.